Fedders Free For All!

April 18, 2008 by missheather
Filed under: Articles of Fedderization, Bushwick, Fedders Friday, Williamsburg

I have been trying to figure out which variety of Fedders Specials I hate more: utilitarian buildings that make no effort whatsoever to “fit” into the environment around them or buildings that ape older architecture and fail miserably. I simply cannot make up my mind. For this reason I have decided to feature examples of BOTH for your edification today. Enjoy!

Representing Bushwick, I present to you The Three Faces of Decatur!

Our first contestant hails from the intersection of Decatur Street and Bushwick Avenue. This is the front.

Or is this the front?

Or perhaps this is the front? It’s rather hard to tell. Truth be told, I don’t think this building even knows for certain. If it did, at least the doors would match. Can I speak to Decatur White please?

Representing Carroll Gardens, I present the Columbia Street Cornice.

One of these cornices is authentic, the other is an impostor. Care to guess which one?

If you guessed this one as being the impostor you are correct! That said, this is a pretty admirable reproduction. Whoever fabricated it should be proud.

Unfortunately the same cannot be said about the rest of said building.

What the fuck were they thinking when they did this brickwork over the door and windows? Wait— don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.

Which brings me to today’s final contestant. Representing Williamsburg at five stories is…

this thing.

Excusez moi, it’s called the LEANZA.

I wonder what “Leanza” means? Is it Italian for avert your eyes when the scaffolding comes down? Inasmuch as it pains me to write this, I think I might have found a building that makes the Belvederes look tasteful by comparison.

God help us all.

Miss Heather