From The NYS Inbox

October 5, 2008 by missheather
Filed under: Area 51

Many interesting things find their way to my inbox. Mostly spam and mail order brides wanting to make my acquaintance. As I slog through the valley of the shadow intellectual death (that is the Internet) I find the occasional oasis to succor my thirst for weird shit. The following are two such examples.

Yotidadnmom writes:

Check out this interesting specimen.

There was no “interesting specimen” to be found so I replied:

Hey! There appears to be something wrong with this attachment. Can you resend it? The suspense is killing me! 😉

You know what they say about curiosity killing the cat? It doesn’t. Mere death is nothing compared to the night terrors the following image will give you. I speak from experience when I write this.

My reply:

Good god man. Where the hell did this come from?

To wit Yo wrote:

Well… it came from someone’s anus. I found this waiting for me at the South Ferry St. Station…

Most of the submissions I receive are less horrific in nature (but equally amusing). Here’s a “choice specimen” which graced my inbox last night.

Kristen writes:

I am a huge HUGE fan of your blog, so imagine my delight when today I saw a peculiar sight which I thought might be of interest to you.Â My boyfriend & I had just landed at JFK from Austin, TX and were waiting for our luggage when we spotted something on the floor right by the carousel.Â At first we thought, is that strange phallic item a toothbrush holder?Â But as we looked closer we realized that it was definitely a purple vibrator. I can only speculate how it got there – but it’s pretty hilarious to imagine it slipping out of someone’s bag and them being too embarrassed to pick it up again. Poor vibrator.

FOR YOUR PERSONAL SAFETY KEEP CHILDRENS HANDS & FEET FROM THIS DILDONIC. THIS EQUIPMENT STARTS AND STOPS AUTOMATICALLY.

If someone (Sarah Plain?) lost what appears to be a six inch hot pink “personal massager” October 4, 2008 it can be found at the John F. Kennedy International Airport. Unless of course someone saw fit to: