Interesting Consumer Item Of The Day: She Wha?

September 23, 2008 by
Filed under: Area 51 

Recently a good friend of mine when out for drinks with a male buddy of hers. Upon leaving a bar she spied a very intoxicated gentleman (in a business suit, no less) drunkenly urinating on the side of a newspaper stand. This display really pissed her off (pin intended). I’ll let her take it up from here:

I was looking for something to launch into a tirade about anyway so I looked right at the guy “oh yeah, that’s what I like to see when I’m out enjoying my evening, some drunk moron with his d*ck out in public, making the whole world his toilet!”

Michael got very embarrassed and tried to walk away, but I started to get my camera phone out.  Then he doubled back and reprimanded me: “oh come on! Don’t’ do that!”

And I put it away because the walk signal changed –and I decided I’d rather go home anyway.  Then Michael says “he’s probably more embarrassed than you are!”

“What!?” I said.  “If he’s embarrassed, he should go into a f*cking mcdonalds, buy a coke, and use the restroom, like I would.”

Michael:  “come on, he’s obviously drunk.  He wouldn’t be doing it if he didn’t have to.”

Me:  “WTF-ever, I have been drunk in my day but I have NEVER *HAD* to stop in the middle of the street and pee.  This is why our city smells like a toilet.  It’s just uncivilized.  You know who pees out in public?  MY DOG.  Civilized human beings find proper toilets.”

Michael was obviously angered by my tirade and started walking away, turning his shoulder to me.  But I was all feist.

“What, you’re mad. Sorry.  I forgot.  He has a p*nis!  It is a man’s god-given right to whip it out whenever and wherever and relieve himself.   I’M SO SORRY, I FORGOT.  I BOW DOWN TO THE P*NIS!!!”

Michael was totally mortified that I was hollering this in public and decided that we should part ways for the evening. I asked him if he thought I was being belligerent, and he said YES.  I know I was being belligerent, but I didn’t care, and still don’t, actually.

What’s funny is if this guy had been puking, I would have felt sorry for him.  But nobody pees on the street “because they HAVE to,” unless they are homeless.

My friend could have let it go at this point. Could have. She didn’t. She’s a “follow through” kind of gal— which is why I learned the good news about “She Wee”. If you can’t beat  ’em, join ’em!

Yes, this is a real consumer item. My friend actually ordered one is trying to learn how to use it.* Apparently it comes with a hose so you can “direct” your yellow salvo where ever you want. Imagine that: now you and grandma can bond over writing your initials in the snow! Check out their web site for yourself. It’s quite something.

Miss Heather

*I’m trying to get her to post a dairy of her learning curve here on New York Shitty. We’ll see what happens. Keep your streams crossed!

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Comments

4 Comments on Interesting Consumer Item Of The Day: She Wha?

  1. amandabee on Tue, 23rd Sep 2008 11:58 am

    2. One of the transgressions for which I have almost no sympathy (actually, plain old no sympathy) is public urination. If I drop trow and take a leak, people would flip out. But men can piss on anything. Anywhere. It is revolting, and every time some gainfully employed, mentally stable friend of mine starts complaining about his ticket for taking a leak on a dumpster (hi, asshole, someone in a weight belt is going to have to load that dumpster onto a truck tomorrow morning. Way to perfume his world.) or down some dark alley, he gets an earful.

  2. Peaches on Tue, 23rd Sep 2008 4:30 pm

    3. My coworker actually has a box for one of these sitting under his desk.. yes, his, meaning he is a he…not a she. Why a male would need a female urinal…especially at work where there are bathrooms aplenty baffles me. I’m too afraid to investigate and find out if it is actually in the box.

    I think it would be messy, albeit less messy than just poppin a squat in Union Square or the like.

  3. al oof on Tue, 23rd Sep 2008 5:31 pm

    4. there’s a bunch of these devices. some are disposable, which is cool in some ways, but not in others. i have one that isn’t a funnel, it’s a curved piece of plastic but i can’t remember the name so i can’t link you. a lot of these are marketed to transmen. honestly, i don’t give a shit about public urination. and i know lots of girls who’ve ‘dropped trough’ without anyone caring. in fact, i’ve never heard of a woman getting in trouble for public urination, which is not true of men, but then again, there is much less of it.

  4. rowan on Tue, 23rd Sep 2008 5:40 pm

    5. And they start them young, too. Twice, the most recent sighting 2 weeks ago, I have seen little (and I mean LITTLE – as in under 7 years old) boys peeing in the subway station. One was peeing into the tracks, with his dad holding the back of his shirt (safety first!). The other was pissing against the corner of a Metrocard vending machine while his mother bought Metrocards and checked her cell phone. The MTA clerk was in the booth but didn’t say a word.

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