New York Shitty Day Starter: Think Again

Well, I’ve been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure you got today’s codes?—   Major T.J. “King” Kong.

I thought I did. Really. I’ve seen a lot of weird and perverted shit in my life but I never thought I’d see the day a property in Greenpoint, 11222 would be pimped on Bedford Avenue. 11211.

Hell has frozen over.

Meet “THE OAKLAND”

Our home is our joy at the end of the day, our deepest comfort, our refuge from the world. That world should be a place of inspiration and a source of comfort. That home should be made secure and safe. A place where craftsmanship is not a luxury. Where the same work and effort that you put lovingly put into making it a place of beauty is also same the standard expected from the developer.

We’ve passed through the dark ages of standard-less housing, welcome to the age of enlightenment. Welcome to The Oakland. A place where quality meets integrity. A place where satisfaction throughout your entire experience is our personal guarantee— from the sales team to the developer— starting today. We stand by our word and remain at your service.

The Oakland

Located on McGuinness Boulevard (formerly known as Oakland Street) and a beer bottle’s toss from the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. I’m very curious to know what the advertiser (and developer) define as a place of “comfort” and “inspiration”. Can you say “soon to be dumped into rental”?

Welcome to the dark age in north Brooklyn.

Miss Heather