From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Little Larceny?

M writes:

dear miss heather,

sometime after nine pm last night i experienced the inconceivable loss of my 1970’s Schwinn Twinn tandem bicycle.

someone crow-barred the u-lock off of it at 555 leonard. i called the “helpful” 94th precinct to file a report. they told me i should “find the guy who took it, tell him to meet you in an alley and beat him up”. while this sounds like a fantastic plan, i think i’ll start by canvassing the streets, putting up flyers, and talking to the bike shops around town. i thought i might write to you since me and everyone i know in greenpoint read your blog.

i attached a picture of my most prized possession. sigh. believe it or not, i just brought it here from phoenix a week and a half ago. that’s the street-life of a cool bike in greenpoint i guess. if anyone sees this message, and maybe (fingers-crossed) sees this bike, i would offer an award of $100 to get it back.

thanks for your time.

If anyone has seen this bike (and I doubt there are too many 1970’s Schwinn tandem bikes floating around the Garden Spot— or north Brooklyn for that matter ) please contact the police and/or email me at:

missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com.

Thanks!

Miss Heather