Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Found On Wythe Avenue: Stress-inducing Kitten
Found on the corner of South 1st and Wythe she’s doing but boy does she meow a lot and she’s stressing out my old cat
If this furkid is yours (or you want to make her yours) please call the phone number indicated on this flier. Thanks!
Miss Heather
Southside Smash & Grab: Reward Offered
I found a great many of these fliers on Havemeyer Street this afternoon. Am I the only person who has noticed that smash and grabs seem to be becoming more and more common? If there is a lesson to be learned from this flier it is this: store your valuables outside of eye shot of would-be thieves. Keep them in your trunk— or better yet— secure them in your apartment.
In any case, it goes without saying (but I’m going to say it anyway) that if you know anything about the whereabouts of this person’s purloined belongings please contact him or her at the above telephone number. Better yet, contact the 90th Precinct. Thanks!
Miss Heather
Happy Yom Kippur From New York Shitty!
Yesterday I racked my brain trying to find a lighthearted, fun way to wish my Jewish friends a happy Yom Kippur. I failed miserably in this endeavor. Thankfully today went for a walk.
I have no idea what this says (or the what, if any, significance underlies the use of rubber chickens) but it made me smile and I hope it did the same for you. Happy Yom Kippur everybody!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Much Ado About Edge
No, not that Edge, this one!
Anonymous writes:
Hi Miss Heather,
I enjoy reading your blog from time-to-time and especially appreciate the news on the developments around the neighborhood.
I’d like to share with you some information about a building on the Southside, in hopes that it can get out to others who deserve to know… So, here goes:
The building has a retail space in the bottom which is currently owned by the developer and being rented to a John Suarez, who is running it as a gym, called Cutting Edge.
Well, there are many problems here:
1) The space isn’t zoned to be a gym
2) He is occupying space in the basement and using it for classes and workout space when it is only supposed to be used as storage
3) There’s no proper emergency exit from the basement
4) He’s illegally (i.e., with no work permit) installing showers/bathrooms in the basementThe biggest problem of all is that John Suarez has been forbidden by the Attorney General to ever operate a gym. A few years back he had advertised the opening of a new gym in the neighborhood, called Core Health and Fitness. He never opened the gym, even after taking people’s money. He was ordered to pay back $172,000 in restitution, but I know for a fact (a neighbor was a victim of the scam) that people did not get their money back…
As you can see my anonymous friend has a lot to say. Let’s take a break for a moment and evaluate points 1-4.
1. The space isn’t zoned to be a gym
This is, in a manner of speaking, correct. You see, 117 South 3 Street has no Certificate of Occupancy on file. None. Zero. Zippo. Therefore, the fact this building is occupied at all— be it by tenants or businesses— is an issue. Then again (and this is where it get really interesting), this depends on which 117 South 3 Street you look up. You see, for some inexplicable reason this building has two Building Information Numbers (BINS): the latter has a Certificate of Occupancy on file. Not that it allows the basement to be used as a commercial space: it doesn’t.
Point numbers 2 & 3:
He is occupying space in the basement and using it for classes and workout space when it is only supposed to be used as storage… There’s no proper emergency exit from the basement…
Okay, I haven’t actually been in this building so I cannot verify this. Which brings me to to point number 4:
He’s illegally (i.e., with no work permit) installing showers/bathrooms in the basement.
Now this one I can prove! You see, the Department of Buildings paid 117 South 3 Street’s basement a visit last month.
In fact, it even netted him a Stop Work Order.
Not that this appears to have done much, mind you:
How this tale end? Will Mr. Suarez get caught— and if so, by who:
- the Department of Buildings?
- the office of the Attorney General?
- The Edge’s trademark infringement attorneys?
Or:
- have my tipster and my copyrighted material plagiarized by the New York Post? Flagrantly and without apology.
I suppose only time will tell. In the meantime, caveat emptor.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Those of you harboring any doubts as to whether or not John Suarez is behind this business (and is at large at 117 South 3 Street), Google the phone number on the below flier.
New York Shitty Day Ender: Happiness
This bit of happiness hails from 277 South 2nd Street (between Marcy Avenue and Havemeyer Street). The above image is a mere teaser to the tantalizing four stories of aborted and boarded up “Fedderism” that awaits your delectation if and/or when you elect to swing by and see this Fedderus Interuptus in person. And I encourage each and every one of you, dear readers, to do just this.
Kevin Walsh (of Forgotten New York) writes in this post (which needs to be seen to truly be believed):
I’ve come to the conclusion that Johnny Rotten was wrong when he said there’s “no future for you.” There is a future for Queens, and what we’ve seen on this page is that future.
And the image gracing the beginning of this post is the future of north Brooklyn! Scratch that— this is north Brooklyn’s present. Given the number of “luxury” properties and Kings crap that are still being built here despite a surplus, lack of interest and money north Brooklyn is well along the road to its own personal perdition…
and a very sad future, indeed!
Inasmuch as I hate to be pedantic or “preachy” I am going to make an exception for this post. When you cast your ballots this fall*, fellow north Brooklynites, I want to to think about the above image. Our elected officials (with the complicity and/or implicit— if not explicit— approval of certain “grassroots” organizations/”community organizers”) enabled this.
Miss Heather
*And I hope you do— regardless of whether or not you agree with me. North Brooklyn has long sported a deplorable voter turn-out. Make your voice heard!
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