Happy Birthday FUCKED IN PARK SLOPE!

November 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Brooklyn, Crosstown Local, Park Slope

One year ago you were a newbie; now you’re a titan of the Brooklyn blogosphere. Mazel tov! Your take on the neighborhood I care not to sully with my presence is a breath of fresh (and cynical) air. I look forward to hearing more from (and about you) in the future! Now that the Crosstown Local blights your ‘hood maybe you’ll come up and see me some time?

Miss Heather

P.S.: The Mister (a faithful reader of FIPS) has developed a fixation on “Prospect Park West” ever since Smartmom railed (incoherently) against it. Any chance you could help me get an autographed copy of this book? I’d like to give it to him for Christmas.

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TOMORROW: Skillshare

October 9, 2009 ·
Filed under: Brooklyn, Criminal Activity, Park Slope

Those of you who are not content with the Habitat’s Oktoberfest— or touring the digester eggs (Shit Tits) at the Newtown Creek Waste Treatment Facility— I offer for your delectation the first annual Brooklyn Skill Share. They offer a lot of cool workshops and stuff. You can read about ’em here.

Brooklyn Skill Share
October 10, 2009
Gowanus Studio Space
(look it up yourself)

Sorry for my lack of enthusiasm: this whole affair makes me feel, well, DIRTY. Kombucha brewing? Massage? Balloon animals?!? The previous sounds like the makings of a Park Slope key party to me— but perhaps I have been reading too much Amy? Or not: the following (which can be found on Skillshare’s Tumblr page) only fuels my north Brooklyn angst.

Dear Skillshare,

I don’t know what I wanna do first: report you to the proper authorities for (implicit/explicit) child pornography, collect a fee for being a talent scout for American Apparel or gauge my eyes out. I’m leaning towards the latter most. Using only the finest raw food items. I am thinking carrots or turnips (they’re more plentiful in Greenpoint) but if you have a better (greener) solution I’m very open to suggestions.

As is Yana, apparently.

FUCK THAT SHIT (and the environment) — I’m taking a Clorox shower.

Miss Heather

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