Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: 239 Banker Street
There is a spectacular array of garbage gracing this illegal loft conversion property today! I wonder where the night regulation/street cleaning sign came from?
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: 239 Banker Keeps Up Appearances
It would appear that not only has yours truly’s favorite illegal conversion in an Industrial Business Zone seen fit to invest in stick-on letters and numbers…
but they have spruced up the foyer as well! Because, as we all know, nothing exudes “class”— even in illegally converted manufacturing buildings with a standing Stop Work Order and thousands of dollars in unpaid fines— quite like the addition of some potted plants. I mean just look at the difference they make here:
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Greetings From 239 Banker Street— Once Again
Filed under: 11222, Gentrification, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF
Some of you might recall that I recently received a piece of correspondence from an individual who called this place home. He/she was none too happy about it too. This is why he/she was moving out. As you can imagine, gentle readers, I had a number of questions for this person. 
Today I am pleased to announce I not only got some answers— but some visuals to accompany them! One is the charming image at right. But I am getting ahead of myself— without further ado, here we go! NOTE: I have excised some material so as to preserve some semblance of anonymity for the parties involved.
Hi Heather, I stupidly did not take any photos of the piss/shit fiasco- I opened the camera to do it but immediately thought “no- this is fucking vile! I’m leaving” and the SMELL! yikes I’m out of there now, but I came to live there because I was moving back to NYC (had been in SF for a year) and my friend who I was looking for a place with had said “hey, I found this spot in Greenpoint with two rooms open”… I went with it… I have some more photos ill send over as well. sorry for so many emails but I can’t attach via the mail app and have no computer access for a couple days. Also made a clip, hope it helps to convey the space better.
…so these first two are the bathroom tub and what is almost certainly mold growing- along w/ Shitpissgate (Apparently the first floor of this building had to be vacated after Hurricane Sandy due to flooding— this included a back-up of raw sewage. Yummy. — Ed. Note), there was an incident with the bathtub backing up dirty water full of black specks up to the brim (last photo- however it only depicts minimal drain, it was a photo I took to send to the super in a “THIS STILL EXISTS HOURS LATER”! message)
the third is the wood rising up after Shitpissgate, and the fourth is an example of all the arbitrary holes in the deplorable re-flooring job.
Now let’s proceed to the “bedroom”, shall we?
Yeah, the photos do not do much to describe this space. As the video footage makes all too clear: this is because there isn’t really much space to describe!
I know what you’re thinking:
How much does such a
closetroom cost?
Well, prepare to be amazed. I certainly was.
$925. And the bigger rooms (slightly, but you know as well as I do how sometimes that extra six inches of a room helps) with windows were $925. Again, against my better judgment, shame on me, etc. but I’m glad I found the legal hurdle.
Those of you who are wondering what this hurdle/loophole was— or simply care about such trivial matters as fire code— will undoubtedly find the following passage from the “Loft Law” (Thanks NAG!) quite illuminating:
…Notwithstanding the provisions of paragraphs (i), (iii) and (iv) of subdivision two of this section, but subject to paragraphs (i) and (ii) of subdivision one of this section and paragraph (ii) of subdivision two of this section, the term “interim multiple dwelling” shall include buildings, structures or portions thereof that are located in a city of more than one million persons which were occupied for residential purposes as the residence or home of any three or more families living independently from one another for a period of twelve consecutive months during the period commencing January first, two thousand eight, and ending December thirty-first, two thousand nine, provided that the unit: is not located in a basement or cellar and has at least one entrance that does not require passage through another residential unit to obtain access to the unit, has at least one window opening onto a street or a lawful yard or court as defined in the zoning resolution for such municipality…
Whoops. Now if you don’t mind I have some bunk beds to install in my tool shed…
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Greetings From 239 Banker Street
A person we’ll “X” writes:
Hello Heather,
I love and applaud your coverage of 239 Banker Street. I have been living in this dump for the past five months and am eagerly awaiting my leave next week. I share your disdain for the illegal occupation of this building, and the complete disregard of the laws and stop work order violations by the management company. Perhaps you’re already aware but I figured I’d share a couple things with you-
Windowless rooms are being rented as bedrooms, which is a fire hazard/illegal.
Secondly, there was recently a backup of plumbing on the first floor, and several apartments were flooded in the bathrooms out to the kitchen area, this water containing REAL HUMAN SHIT AND PISS (Emphasis mine— Ed. Note). Sorry, but it was atrocious. As a result the floor has buckled up and I can say with certainty that since the post-Sandy re-flooring job was done lazily (spaces as large as 3/16″ in certain parts of it), I am positive there is mold growing. I’m feeling extra spiteful of the building today so figured I’d shoot you an email.
Thanks— I honestly do not know what else to say (that I haven’t said many times before)…
New York Shitty Street Seating Du Jour, Part I: 239 Banker Street
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture
Taken February 23, 2013.
Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Moving Day
I was unable to ascertain whether this moving truck was in the hire of a new or soon-to-be former resident. Nonetheless, it serves as a good opportunity as any to note someone has lodged a complaint regarding the elevator at this residence…
45 days ago. Fascinating…
New York Shitty Day Ender: Moving Day
Just another day at 239 Banker Street (taken today, October 23, 2012)*
*For those of you who are wondering, “Mike” is still advertising this very-much-illegal bit of residential space on Craigslist.
From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Dispatch From 239 Banker Street
A person we’ll call “J” writes:
Hello!
It’s been great reading about 239 Banker Street after I had moved in from your blog. Already planning my move out.
Work restarted this morning: lots of workers all over the building working on apartments. Of particular interest were the bags of cement in the lobby ready to be turned into concrete, and a work permit that expired in July explicitly prohibiting concrete work. So they took down a STOP WORK order to put in an expired work permit that doesn’t even permit them to do what they’re doing in the building.What a goddamn mess.
New York Shitty analysis: I suppose posting a permit (even an invalid one) is a(n albeit deceptive) step in the right direction. Hilarious.
Highlights From Community Board 1: Let’s Talk Trash
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Planet Entitlement, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
One of the more provocative parts of last week’s convocation— and there were quite a few, I assure you— were two ladies speaking on the subject of illegal garbage can holders.
More specifically: these garbage can holders. Behold the Community Board 1 action regarding them for yourselves, gentle readers (start at 7:28).
New York Shitty analysis:
1. Exactly what constitutes a “beautiful” garbage can holder? If there is in fact such a thing, it in the eye of the beholder.
2. While certainly nice, they are placed on public property (READ: the sidewalk). This is a big no-no.
As these ladies noted, their neighbor is obeying the law:
3. This is not to suggest I am not sympathetic to these ladies’s plight. I am. They brought up a very salient point: the developer of their respective properties did not consider trash collection when designing their respective condominiums. This is clearly a problem. One which should have been prevented at the “planning stage”. Which brings me to…
Yesterday I decided to see how 239 Banker Street’s illegal garbage fixture cum bicycle rack was faring.
Not only is it still there, but among the assorted detritus I found something of interest.
Not one but two boxes which formerly contained stoves. (For those of you who are not in the know, “estufa” means stove in Spanish. Somewhere my high school Spanish teacher is smiling!) As you can see the powers that be behind this illegal conversion are scarcely concerned about getting caught. What’s more, I learned at last week’s proceedings why.
So there have you: fines are simply part and parcel of “doing business”. Given the “lofts” at 239 Banker Street are going for anywhere between $2,700 – $3,400 for 700 square foot (if that) of “living space” nowadays, well, it has become all too clear how effective these “penalties” have been as a deterrent against this landlord continuing to illegal legally lease out this property as residential space.
In closing I will leave you, gentle readers, with the latest bit of “immaculate construction” I spied at 239 Banker Street.
As the screencap of a video I shot on June 3rd of this year indicates, what is now an “apartment” used to be a doorway.* But don’t take my word for it: view the video for yourself.
*For those of you who are wondering, this is perfectly in keeping with the plans for this “hotel”…
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