Greenpoint Photo du Jour: The Anti-Plate

November 13, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

plate

This is what I beheld when I arrived at the junk shop today. It is a plate. With a hole in it. Hanging from a nail.

I don’t know why someone would do this. Then again, after dealing with a man haggling over a solitary “adult” playing card I have come to realize I do not know a great many things. This is turning out to be a very strange day.

Miss Heather

What’s Up At The Place Known Formerly As The Greenpoint Hotel

hotelAs I mentioned previously, the weather was such that I had to find alternative means of entertaining myself and/or news gathering. First on my agenda (after working) was visiting Emi at Dog Habitat. I quickly rushed home, took a shower and ran off to my next engagement: Community Board 1’s Human Services (Shelter, Social Services, Aging, Disability Concerns, Health) Committee meeting.

This might not seem like the typical person’s idea of how to spend a Thursday night. Given the dismal turn-out— only two committee members were present— I’d say this is a fair assessment. But then again, I am not typical. I’m a weirdo (hence why I live in Greenpoint: I feel at home). What’s more, my mission had a purpose: the new owner of the Greenpoint Hotel was slated to speak. And speak he did. I was all ears (and some mouth).

Follows a general outline of the proceedings (NOTE: some of the following content is redundant to what I have posted already. By omitting it the natural “flow” of the discussion would be lost— so I kept it) :

INTRODUCTION

First Mr. Deutchman introduced himself, made mention that he owns and operates a number of SROs in the city and gave a background as to how he acquired the property:

  1. He bought the property from the bank (foreclosure or seizure?) at the U.S. Attorney’s Office and D.E.A.’s discretion.
  2. He was the fifth bidder. The previous four bidders were rejected.
  3. He paid $3.5 million dollars for the property.
  4. This includes the laundromat next door (which can be seen above).

INITIAL FINDINGS/CHANGES

  1. This facility (I can honestly find no other word to describe this hodgepodge of buildings) sports 200 rooms. Just rooms. All plumbing (READ: bathrooms, sinks, etc.) is communal.
  2. The parcel in its entirety is 55,000 square feet.
  3. Although Mr. Deutchman was promised there would be 75 residents at signing. There were, in fact, 120 occupied rooms. This number has since been brought down to 80. (I will go into how later.)
  4. At the time of purchase this building had 300 open violations, this has since been brought down to 8.
  5. All structural remedies have been made, what is lacking is a “Certificate of Fitness”.
  6. A fire consultant has been hired to help this complex become fire code complaint.
  7. The exterior has been given a total overhaul. Including a healthy dose of Greenpoint’s personal panache/panacea of choice: aluminum siding!

80clay

Inasmuch as some of you might find what I am about to write hard to believe, it is the truth: this is a big improvement. But back to the subject.

OTHER CHANGES/DEVELOPMENTS

  1. The only entrance to this building is on Manhattan Avenue. The fire exits are now self-closing and have alarms (so as to preclude people from using them in cases other than an emergency).
  2. Visitors are required to present valid ID to visit.
  3. The party being visited must meet the person in the lobby and take him (or her) back to his room.
  4. Fire safety directors have been hired.
  5. A web-based security system has been installed. It should be entirely “up and running” soon.
  6. The laundromat will stay. Mr. Deutchman is interested in expanding it to a full-service facility that will offer dry-cleaning.

TENANTS (Current)

As you can imagine, questions and concerns arose as to how current tenants are being handled. Here’s his answer:

  1. Upon taking possession of the property Mr. Deutchman posted notices stating he was tendering the rent roll over the the NYPD to review for unregistered sex offenders and parole-skippers.
  2. Some have been “bought out” through negotiation between his layer and MFY, a legal service.
  3. Some will be evicted for non-payment of rent. Apparently a number of tenants having (and understandably) grown tired of the squalid conditions in this building decided to quit paying rent and this was upheld in housing court. Now that the repairs have been made (which is what Mr. Deutchman purports), collecting rent from some of them has proved to be problematic.
  4. Mr. Deutchman has reached out to various social service agencies (the Veterans Administration among them) to help rehouse them.
  5. Mr. Deutchman faces paying $500,000 in rental over-charge payments to current tenants because (hang with me here, this gets interesting)…
  6. Any tenant who lives in a SRO more than 28 days becomes a rent-stabilized tenant, e.g.; someone who moves in paying $215 a month after 28 days will continue paying $215 a month until the rent can be legally raised. Per the rules and regulations as established by the DHCR. Division of Housing Renewal & Control.
  7. Per Mr. Deutchman a number of the previous owners violated the law and charged rents that were above the allowable legal limit.

And, I suspect, Mr. Deutchman’s predecessors did other things to circumvent the law. Some of the old(ish) timers reading this might remember Sammy. He was a local celebrity of sorts. If my memory serves me correctly he was once featured in the Village Voice— or was it the NYPress? I forget which. In any case, the article in question made light of Sammy’s Solomon-like wisdom when dealing with a dispute over an objet d’art (READ: cheap piece of ceramic crap) at the Salvation Army (where he worked). Two women argued vociferously over who had found the item in question first. After hearing their arguments Sammy rendered his verdict: he dropped said object onto the floor, thus rendering it into numerous pieces the two women could split amongst themselves. Problem solved.

Despite what the previous anecdote might suggest Sammy had a big heart. We were friends and it broke my heart when I heard he died (of a heart attack— he was only 51 years old). Sammy was a resident of the Greenpoint Hotel. One of the things he mentioned (mind you, this was back in 2001 or 2002) was their modus operandi of having the tenants stay there for three weeks (21 days), then stay somewhere else for one, only to return for another three weeks (repeat cycle). As crazy as Sammy’s story sounded at the time given what Mr. Deutchman said it makes sense. Sammy hated living there— as have others I know. Some food for thought— now back to my “minutes”.

TENANTS (Future)

The question was raised by the chair as to why Mr. Deutchman didn’t want to operate a proper hotel. I for one found this query amusing given the number of nondos which have been employed for such a purpose. Albeit, illegally. Mr. Deutchman made it known:

  1. He does not want to run a hotel.
  2. He wants to operate a SRO…
  3. along the lines of an “assisted living facility” or “supported housing”:, e.g.; an adult home…
  4. with the cooperation/oversight of an organization (such as the Veterans Administration, to use an example)
  5. to this end he has filed RFPs (request for proposals).
  6. As he reiterated will be the landlord, and they will administrate day-to-day stuff.
  7. In the meantime he wants to vacate the building entirely of tenants and start anew. When asked by the committee chair how long this might take Mr. Deutchman said three years.

THE FUTURE OF 1109-1113 MANHATTAN AVENUE

The committee chair asked the $64,000 question: given you have purchased such a large parcel of property, why not develop it?

Mr. Deutchman replied that at some point he would like to build “market-rate” housing on the site. “16 units” (which I would deduce to be 16 floors, I haven’t done the “math” but a footprint that big could plausibly be employed). In any case the chair, did and offered (as a fellow landlord) advise he go higher. Yup.

New York Shitty analysis:

  1. Mr. Deutchman has a contingency plan.
  2. He will develop this property. This is a given.
  3. He will employ it as an SRO in the interim— or given the time line he provided— skip this step and go to point #2.
  4. I am not against an SRO on this property provided it is well managed and maintained. I take a much broader view of “affordable housing” than many in my community do. In my world view an allocation of X units to be sold to families earning $45,000 or less in a tower does not constitute affordable housing. What I want to see (and what the market here really needs) are affordable RENTAL units, be they two bedrooms, one bedrooms, studio apartments or SROs. If the tenants of this hypothetical SRO are long-term residents, as opposed to transients (which seems to have been the prevailing trend at the “Greenpoint Hotel”) and/or a co-educational college dormitory (which is pretty much what the Northside of Williamsburg has become and what the Marzili Hostel was) methinks they’ll become part of the community and be (for the most part) good neighbors.
  5. Sooner or later we’re going to see something big at the corner of Clay Street and Manhattan Avenue.

My feelings are mixed. On the one hand, I hate towers. On the other, I do have to acknowledge that Mr. Deutchman has made numerous improvements to the place formerly known as the Greenpoint Hotel. Inside and out. The lobby is painted in cheerful (a term I never thought I would attribute to this establishment) hues of bright green and orange. It needs to be seen in person to truly be believed. The regular visitations by the police and fire department have abated— or at least subsided substantially.* Which brings me back to one thing Mr. Deutchman mentioned repeatedly: a desire for the NYPD canvass the area and the building proper.

On that note, the next and last 94th Precinct Community Council Meeting for the year will be this upcoming Monday, November 16. Given the wife of a good friend of mine was almost mugged on Roebling and North 8 Street earlier this week (at 7:00 p.m.) I am certain it will be interesting.**

Miss Heather

P.S.: This post is dedicated to the Human Services Committee Member who asked how my raccoon problem was going. I assured him it has stopped. THANK GOD. I’m genuinely sorry your friend in Little Neck got bit and had to go through a series of rabies shots. All nine of them. That sucks. Big time.

*If you care to dispute this please tender your observations via comments or email them via my “tips” page.

**Here’s his account:

Last night was parent teacher night at my two son’s school. Since my wife is a teacher she like to go to meet his teachers since I pick up my kids and drop them off everyday. As she was heading out she told me that her girlfriend who I believed she would be walking with had an earlier appointment and she would be going alone.

I got a bad felling and I actually asked her to take the car the seven blocks we normally walk. I did not want her walking under the BQE alone, even though it was only a little before seven pm. She said no and reminded me how hard it is to park by the school. She assured me she would be careful. The phone rang a little after eight and I answered the phone. It was my wife. She was screaming for me to run down the block because two men had just attempted to rob her. I ran out of my house to see my wife coming up our block crying and screaming. I got her inside and she explained that she had decided to walk up North 8th street instead of north 7th because it was closer to the church and better lit. As she walked up North 8th toward Roebling she was on her old, not fancy cell phone talking to her mother. Two men walked by her. Something told her to look back a few seconds later and she saw the two men closing in on her. They told her to give them everything she had. She started to scream at the top of her lungs. Police, I am being robbed, Police over and over. The two men ran away and my wife then called me and ran the block and a half to our home. We immediately called 911 and then the 94th to report what happened. A car came about a half hour later. The officers took a description of the two but did not fill out any paperwork and left. Although my wife was lucky no physical harm occurred and nothing was taken, I fear that this violation of trust that she now fears walking in our community at night is going to be difficult to overcome. I also am angry that these men are lurking in our community and probably found someone else to rob and will do it again. I also thought about my wife’s mother who is in her seventies and had to hear her daughter screaming over a cell phone not being able to help her. I have been complaining for the last two years that things are not so swell in Williamsburg. I should have went with my gut last night. I will have to live with that decision but I am happy my wife is physically safe. Be careful out there.


North Greenpoint Bodega Watch

November 12, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

minimartI shared the good news about this, what will be the only 24 hour bodega north of India Street last month. In that post I wrote:

…When will it open, you ask? I do not know— but I am going to keep swinging by until I can find someone to ask!

Today I found out. Per the owner (who was busy overseeing the installation of shelving and refrigeration units) the Mini Mart Deli Grocery will be open in “10 to 15 days”. That’s not too far off, folks. From what I saw he is already stocking up on nonperishable sundries and has had a menu drawn up outlining what food stuffs will be made to order. Think the usual fare: egg sandwiches, bagels and the like.

Mini Mart Deli Grocery
Opening Date: late November/early December
1068 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Although my enthusiasm about this establishment has not been shared by some, I for one will be delighted with not having to schlep to India Street in the dead of winter for a package of maxipads. It’s the little things which make life worth living.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Fashion Watch: Pretty In Pink

November 9, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

The other day we had a “family unit patronize the junk shop. It was of a variety I am seeing more frequently nowadays: an affluent co-ed, her boyfriend, mom and pop. My coworker Cass and I watched in amazement as this foursome spent no less than ten minutes debating the pros and cons of a $30.00 rug. At one point the mother even asked us if we knew where it came from— as if we would know such a thing in an unexpected  Antiques Roadshow moment. We answered that we had no idea. Eventually they broke down, bought the rug and went on their way. I turned to Cass and said:

I cannot imagine having the kind of life where I need a team of four people to help me purchase a rug. Seriously, it must be interesting to have the luxury of filling your head with that kind of crap.

Cass nodded in agreement and I continued:

So help me I pray to god that when I get to be that woman’s age I will not dress like that. What is it about affluent middle-aged women and the “Stevie Nicks”/urban medicine woman look? She looks like she ought to be hawking smudge sticks in Santa Fe.

We all get older. This is a fact of life no one relishes. But I gotta ask: does it have to be like this? I learned the answer to this question on Manhattan Avenue yesterday afternoon:

No, it doesn’t.

redhead

I cannot over-emphasize the Greenpoint glory of what you are seeing here. This GGilf (I will leave it to your imagination to deduce what this acronym means) not only has a rose in her flaming red hair, but is sporting a magenta leather blazer (who knew they made such things?) and coordinating plum colored micro-mini. Her ankle boots sport spiked heels (anything else on Manhattan Avenue would be passe) and her stockings were nothing short of amazing. Their pattern was a mix of sheer and opaque diamonds. Very mod.

I want to give a special New York Shitty salute to this Manhattan Avenue fashion plate. She is living proof one can be older and stylish! When I get to be this woman’s age I want to look like this. Hell, I want to look this good now!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos du Jour: Zeitgeist

November 8, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Furniture 

Today’s “day starter” was probably a more than ample indication that I kicked off this beautiful day in a rotten mood. For those of you who are not “in the loop” I will use this post as my personal wailing wall:

  • Friday morning Chez Shitty had neither heat nor hot water.
  • Friday night Chez Shitty had heat and hot water.
  • Saturday night Chez Shitty had ample heat and NO hot water.
  • Sunday morning Chez Shitty was sweltering but no hot water was to be had from our taps.

After some investigation on the Mister’s and my part we deduced that only one of the three plumbing stacks in our building were, in fact, providing hot water. Or to put it another way: only one third of our building had hot water. Yet we were the first and to my knowledge, ONLY, people to complain about this. Go figure.

I consider myself to be a pretty simple person. I don’t ask for much. Life promises very little other than paying taxes and dying. I endeavor to use the time I have to enjoying myself, getting to know people and helping make my neighborhood a better place for those who are here presently and those will (inevitably) come.

The previous are difficult to do when one’s hair looks reminiscent of Don King in his prime and one’s skin is itching for lack of proper hygiene. A number of people (the Mister included) romanticize foreign locales or “the good old days”. I am not one of these people. I do not want to live in a world without:

  • Penicillin
  • Woman having the right to vote
  • Legalized birth control
  • Indoor plumbing/sanitation

And the all too relevant subcategory under “Indoor plumbing/sanitation”: HOT WATER. Does this make me arrogant American? I think not. I believe the latter most three points to be a human right (as a majority of humans populating planet earth are women). The first is a given— or if it isn’t— it should be.

Then again, I think feminine hygiene products (and birth control, for that matter) should be free. This may strike some as socialism but I see it as common sense. Viagra and its numerous brethren are covered by many health care plans in New York State but birth control and maxi pads aren’t. And now, thanks to certain politicians those who may have to seek the recourse of abortion, can’t .*

A friend of mine was once told (by a female practitioner, no less):

If you want to play, you gotta pay.

What is wrong with this picture? As I made it clear at the beginning of this post, dear readers, I am NOT in a good mood. But I digress.

This morning I was faced with two options:

  1. Stay home and fume over having no hot water.
  2. Go for a walk and fume over having no hot water.

I chose the latter. Follow are highlights from my jaunt with commentary. Enjoy!

MANHATTAN AVENUE

pleasekillme

Anyone who has ever has to stand in line at Rite Aid (which is where this missive hails from) will understand the author’s state of mind. It’s almost as bad as our Post Office. ALMOST.

NORMAN AVENUE

normandog

normandog2

A stuffed dog. On a leash. 100% Greenpoint.

GRAHAM AVENUE

Jew York

A flickr contact of mine, Jon Feinstein (a very talented photographer), documented something identical to this in Williamsburg. He tagged his photograph as being “antisemitism”. I’m not certain if that is what is going on here.

showurface

But this annotation certainly suggests antisemitism on someone’s part. Which party, I do not know.

And last, but hardly least, what is probably the best piece of street seating I have ever beheld!

FRANKLIN STREET

eatshit1

eatshit2

EAT SHIT!

Clearly I was not the only person who was in a shitty mood today.

Miss Heather

*Those of you who take issue with “House Vote 884” AKA: The “Stupak” Amendment, click here for a list of who was naughty and nice.

From the New York Shitty Inbox: Another Catnapping?

Pets on the run

LarryTHUMBFriday night I shared with you the good news about Larry the bodega cat’s (who can be seen at left) heroic rescue and return to his rightful owner. I will not lie to you: I was ecstatic when I saw his “mom” toting him back home. Unfortunately my revelry was short-lived. You see, I awakened the next morning to find a most troubling email in my inbox. Jason writes:

Hey Heather:

I don’t know if you have heard about the store cat over at Pets on the Run (989 Manhattan btwn Huron and India)? It seems that either last week or early this week the good proprietor’s cat was stolen. When I went in there at the beginning of this week to get some cat food he was telling another customer the whole story and he was pretty broken up about the whole affair. I am wondering if there are any connections between Larry’s journey and this? The businesses are quite close to the cat vortex….

Obviously it cannot be established if the same person who took Larry (whose intentions were good, if misguided) has taken our dear Lucas (who can be seen with proud papa, Zohar, below).

ZoharandLucas

Nonetheless I find this to be a very, very worrisome trend. What part of DO NOT TAKE SOMEONE ELSE’S PET does the perpetrator of this, Manhattan Avenue’s latest catnapping, not understand?

Lucas flier

If you have seen Lucas (who reputedly disappeared on Halloween) please contact his proud papas, Zohar and Malik, at the above telephone number (you can see this flier in larger format by clicking here). They (and Pet on the Run’s patrons) are heartbroken. Thank you.

You can see more pictures of Lucas (who it should be noted has a small tuft of white fur on his chest) via his foster mom’s web page.

Miss Heather

P.S.: It would appear another cat named Larry mas gone missing.

whereislarry

I found this flier on Metropolitan Avenue near Leonard Street, if my memory serves me correctly.

New York Shitty Day Ender: A Tail of Two Larrys

Earlier today I was bantering with a buddy of mine online. He, not unlike myself, has a heat issue (READ: he has none).* My first and only piece of advice to this gentleman was as follows:

If the problem persists contact the Borough President’s Office.

I myself have done this and the results were quite frankly amazing. Not one, but TWO Department of Buildings Inspectors showed up the next day. They made it clear Marty sent them. Inasmuch as we disagree on many issues I have to give credit where it is due: Marty understands the value of constituent services. Which brings me to the subject of this post.

Inasmuch as I have mulled over a possible career in politics the truth of the matter is I do not think it is for me. It takes a certain amount of, how should we say— moral flexibility— to gain and retain elective office in this fair city. This is something I woefully lack. Or do I? After today’s sequence of events I am beginning to wonder.

The following tale has all the elements of a good Greenpoint story: neighbors coming to the defense/aid of a fellow neighbor, deception and a catnapping. NOTE: certain elements of this tome have been changed/obfuscated to protect the guilty.

AJmarket

Many of you who live in north Greenpoint are undoubtedly familiar with this establishment. It is pretty much the last bodega to be had until one reaches Eagle Street. I frequent this business often. Granted, some of their prices are a teensy bit high but if it means not having to schlep to The Garden I am willing to pay for the convenience. It is presided over by two lovely young women. And Larry.

Larry

He may not look very happy in this picture (he isn’t) but it’s understandable given the circumstances. You see, Larry— and a fair number of folks on Manhattan Avenue— have had a very eventful week.

It all started on Monday. I stopped into the bodega to pick up some groceries. The cashier, who we will call “M” was despondent. I asked her what gives.

We’ve lost Larry, she said.

I asked her what happened. She didn’t know for certain but surmised he either ran off or someone stole him. The next day I asked her colleague, who we will call “N” if he had come back. She told me he had not but hoped wherever he was he was safe and sound. Now jump forward to today, Friday, November 6, 2009.

Larry da Junkman (who will henceforth be referred to as Larry #2), a local celebrity, Seth, and I are bantering. At one point the subject of ladies of the bodega comes up. We all agree they’re really nice. Then Larry says (to me):

When I saw M today she looked like she was on the verge of tears. Do you know what’s up?

I replied:

Didn’t you hear? Their cat has gone MIA.

Larry: When, yesterday?

No, several days ago.

I replied.

Larry: I wonder why she is so upset.

Me: I don’t know but I am going to go over there and find out.

When I entered the bodega I did not have to say anything. M gave me the whole sad, story. Here it is in bullet points:

  • Apparently a patron of said bodega had spied Larry in the possession in of a woman one block away.
  • He/she informed M of this.
  • M took the matter up with the store owner in her building of residence.
  • He was rude and/or unresponsive to her.
  • But apparently passed along word to Larry’s captor as…
  • She stopped by the bodega on Wednesday and told M she would return Larry on Thursday.
  • This never happened.

Wanting to make sure I understood M correctly (there was a bit of a language barrier at play) I walked over to the building in question, took a photograph of it, and walked back to the bodega and showed it to her.

Is this the building?

I asked.

She answered to the affirmative. I headed back to the junk shop without delay. Seth, who was standing out front, noted my anger and inquired as to what came to pass. I growled:

Someone is gonna be in a whole world of hurt.

He and Larry #2 quickly calmed me down and had me recount M’s story. They too got pissed and headed over to the bodega to reconfirm what I had told them and develop a plan of action. This was when the Greenpoint magic kicked in.

As it would happen M had a picture of Larry on her i-Phone. Larry #2 and Seth took said i-Phone and paid the business in question a visit. The proprietor, who we will call “O”, at first seemed intransigent but eventually gave up the goods:

  • Larry’s self-elected hostess was an old and rather daft cat lady. In the purest, piss-stained carpet “cat collector/hoarder” sense of the word.
  • He has known her for ten years and she has done this sort of thing before.
  • She has usually come around to doing the right thing in the past. Eventually.
  • She has neither a buzzer nor a telephone, but he would remind her that M wants her cat back.

At some point Larry #2 threatened to call the police if said catnapper didn’t return M’s cat. O seemed to be unfazed by this. But he, in fact, was. As we later learned.

Long story made short, shortly thereafter O paid M a visit stating that “two men” had come to his business inquiring about her cat. And as I was consuming a much-desired margarita this evening at Papasitos I saw M walking down the sidewalk with Larry. I quickly dashed out to learn what happened.

From what I can gather O did in fact speak to the woman in question. And in an inspired bit of trickery, he intimated that the “two men” who inquired about Larry’s whereabouts were police officers. I realize this is morally (and possibly legally) questionable, but then again so is taking someone’s cat and refusing to return him his rightful owner. On that note, I am happy to announce that as of 8:00 o’clock tonight Larry is back on the job!

larry2

Sort of. He isn’t too crazy about the leash but given what it took to bring him home, it is probably a good move on M’s part. In closing M confided in me that she is concerned Larry (who is neutered teenage male with a few more wild oats to sow) may get loose (or stolen— this was never clearly established) again and is mulling over adopting him out to a good home. Anyone who is interested in adopting Larry can shoot me an email at: missheather (at) thatgreenpointblog (dot) com.

Miss Heather

*My heat and hot water has been blissfully restored (the landlord has to make repairs to the boiler) and I am pleased to announce I have taken a much-needed and desired BATH!

Reader Contribution du Jour: H1N1

November 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

h1n1NYS

Tony (who took the above photograph) writes:

I’m still trying to understand this picture.
I dunno— I think it’s kind of cute!
Miss Heather

Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Autumn Doldrums

November 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Street Art, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

ennui

From Skillman Street.

Miss Heather

P.S.: On that note I am off for a walk to shake-off a little fall ennui of my own. More later!

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Special Halloween Edition

October 31, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Crazy People, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

trickortreatersToday was a very busy day.

First it was awakening to the sound of our cat Frances rather noisy preamble before vomiting upon a pile of books. I managed to move her before she discharged a solitary, runny and repulsive fur bullet. In so doing  we (this was a team effort) managed to knock over a glass of water and ruin some photographs I had laying around. This is not the way I like to start my day. But sometimes that’s the way the kitty cookie crumbles.

After hammering away on the” blog” I rushed to McCarren Park to judge this year’s contestants for the 3rd Annual District Dog Halloween Parade and Costume Contest. I will not lie to you (and I suspect my fellow judges will agree with me when I write this): it was tremendously stressful. So many great costumes, but only so many prizes.

Upon discharging my doggie duty I met up with north Brooklyn’s very own beat reporter extraordinaire, Aaron Short, for a quick interview. Once I saw him off safely on the bus I proceeded to the junk shop so I could fulfill my (un)official role as candy giver. The Mister couldn’t understand my sense of urgency. The fact of the matter is I take the responsibilities which come with such a sinecure (doling out teeth-rotting treats) very, VERY seriously. I serve only the best to 11222’s youth: Snickers, Kit Kats, Milky Ways and Butterfingers. What’s more, it’s fun.

officerI thoroughly enjoy interacting with the children of this neighborhood. They’re great kids. The adults, on the other hand, can be problematic. CASE IN POINT: a drunk (at 3:30 p.m., I will add) fifty-something woman (sipping a can of beer in a paper bag FROM A STRAW) demanding I give her candy. I refused. She, in turn, grabbed my arm (A BIG NO NO) and implored me once again to give her candy. I, once again, refused. She then took it upon herself to take the matter up with my co-worker (who I presume she took for “management”). To no avail.

For the next five minutes this woman (if you can call such a creature that) ranted and raved on the sidewalk for the passerby’s edification. At one point she found two young boys dressed up as police officers. She begged these petit officers to arrest me. Later I was told by one woman in the audience she mentioned something about getting a gun. I replied:

She can get a gun. She’s still not getting any candy.

And she didn’t. Intuiting that she was not going to receive anything in the way of confectionary from yours truly she left for greener pastures. I later saw her toting home six cases of beer. So it goes.

Needless to say when I got home I was sorely in need of some peace and quiet. Nothing doing. The following comment was awaiting my moderating touch. Atlas9 writes (in regards to this post):

I don’t understand the problem, sure bloomberg is going for a third term; but he did it by the books. Why freak out about it? He isn’t being dictatorial, and he sure hasn’t made himself chancellor of NYC, so where is the fundemental problem? The guy wants to stay in office… So that all depends on the election. And the election is democratic, so he is essentially following the democratic process. Also, I canvass for bloomberg in the downtown Brooklyn area, and I can tell you I am no hipster. Just as you were so taken aback from the real estate agents, the same applies here. Don’t be so quick to judge. I am here to engage you and others in the area on the democratic process. If that isn’t something you like then maybe you should consider living in a less important area outside of NYC. But If I were you I would appreciate the fact that bloomberg is playing fair and by the books, and that’s something you have to respect. So please, let’s all relax and try to enjoy a small slice of democracy in our increasingly un democratic world. (emphasis mine — Ed. Note)

P.S. Don’t be rude to me when I come knocking. I don’t mind if you don’t like bloomberg and I am more than willing to listen to what you have to say.

Here’s the deal folks: I have neither the energy nor the inclination to deal with Atlas9’s polemic about the democratic process as it pertains to Bloomberg at this moment. I suspect many of you, dear readers and fellow citizens, might. If so, please tender your thoughts in the comments (or via email— you can do so via my “tips” page”). All I ask of you, fellow citizens, is to to keep them as civil as possible.

Miss Heather

  • NYS Flickr Pool

    DissociationMalevolent and asking for donations20241031_095113Hudson Yards  EDGELooking east-Northern view.Thompson and Broome Streets
  • Ads