LAST GASP: Do Electric Socks Sheathe Robotic Feet?

Today I found a most interesting item advertised in the window of Cato’s Army Navy Store: battery-operated socks.

I am a big fan of Cato’s. Who cannot help but love an establishment which proudly advertises that they have women’s camouflage t-shirts in stock? Needless to say I went inside and inquired about said socks.

Me: I noticed you have battery-operated socks. May I see them?
Saleslady: They’re there.
Me: Where?
Saleslady: Right in front of you.

And so they were. A men’s size large, to be exact.

Do you have these in a smaller size?

I inquired.

Younger saleslady: We have them in medium. That comes out to a women’s size 10 1/2 – 12.
Me: That’s way too big. I’m a 6- 6 1/2…
Both salesladies concur: You need an extra small.
Me: Methinks my husband is a size 9 or 10. I’ll buy the medium size.
Both salesladies: Let us know how they work, no one has bought them yet.
Me: Oh, I will. I want him to test them out on him before I buy a pair.

(knowing laughter)

I thought I had a real pisser to hit the Mister with this evening. $29.95 is a small price to pay for such merriment. I employed my usual tactic: I hit him minutes after he came home from work. It backfired. Miserably.

Me: I found something very interesting at Cato’s Army Navy Store.
The Mister: ???
Me: Battery-powered socks.

I’ve had these! They work great! In fact, they work so well you have to wear another pair of socks under them so you won’t burn your feet!

So there’s your product review per the Mister himself. If you’re in need of Lectra Sox head to Cato’s. Tell ’em Miss Mister Heather sent you.

Cato’s Army Navy Store
654 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Happy Valentine’s Day, Mister Heather. Enjoy your Lectra Sox!

Miss Heather