News From The Snow Globe Factory: VANDALISM!

June 30, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic

Or: Behind every great fortune lies a great crime.

The last few days have been spent sealing snow globes, cleaning and organizing. When I left one snow globe unattended today— in the privacy of my own home— the unthinkable happened.

It. Was. Vandalized. ONCE AGAIN: VANDALIZED!

We all know that graffiti is a problem in Greenpoint— but with HO scale people? This not only besmirched New York City’s name, but my fair community’s as well. The Greenpoint Gazette has made this quite clear. I certainly hope this was not captured on Google street view! I, as a citizen, will not stand for this shit.

So I took a page from Tony Argento’s book and offered a bounty to my fellow citizens so as to apprehend the miscreant responsible. With a twist— and on a much more modest, pragmatic level.

If there’s one thing I have come to understand about “The Argentos” it is this; they are quite “generous” with campaign donations and local charitable organizations. I call this “spreading the fertilizer”. It makes the land “fertile” for whatever BS they plan to do— or have already done. CASE IN POINT:

But I do not have these kind of resources. So I asked myself:

What creature acts most like a politician/opportunist? Someone willing to say or do anything for the end result— moral scruples be damned— and CHEAP?

It did not take me long to figure it out: ~~Katz~~ CATS!

First I stole a dollar from the Mister’s wallet.
Secondly, I “infused” my ill-gotten gains with catnip.
Thirdly, so as to kick things off, I placed a little— LITTLE— catnip on the floor. Just enough for a taste. I was playing “benefactor”.

Sure enough, they fought over it.

Then I asked my question and waved a catnip-infused dollar.

This is how “politics” works in Greenpoint (and New York City). You can be a slumlord, operate an illegal waste trade business, get busted for it; owe the Internal Revenue Service over a half a million dollars in tax liens and owe $30,000 in fines to the Department of Buildings on one building alone— but as long as you donate “generously”, you will be a pillar of the community and your complaint about someone vandalizing your property to the extent of $8,000 whole dollars— will be taken seriously. Let’s take the following 94th Precinct Community Council meeting which came to pass in April 2013.

Even if you say “SB”. (Instead of BS— The following video is even better!)

Note: the Business Integrity Commission decision of which I included passages was issued the very next month! One has to admire that kind of bald-faced hypocrisy. Which brings me back to the video gracing the beginning of this post. It was shot on August 23, 2012. So, as Mr. Levin was extolling upon what great corporate citizens Gina and Tony are, they were busy operating an illegal waste trade business. In Greenpoint. Among other things. Do the math— and please read this. It is always refreshing to see a City Councilman allocating money outside his own district. When one receives the largess of the Argentos, it comes with strings attached…

But as you see below, gentle readers, it was money well spent!

Update, July 1st 2014: Oh, how could I forget something a reporter from Crains recently brought to my attention!?!

Hmm…

P.S.: No animals were hurt during the filming of these videos. They just got really, seriously, stoned on catnip.

*Monica Holowacz is either an Office Assistant or owner of this company. Either way, I find it very, VERY difficult to believe she had the funds to make a $4,000 donation to Mr. DeBlasio’s campaign. This of course begs the question as to where this money really came from. Anyone?

Posted by missheather Leave a Comment

Quicklink: And Now A Word From The Newtown Creek “Alliance”

February 11, 2014 ·
Filed under: 11222, Gentrification, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic

I suppose it will come as no surprise that the Newtown Creek Alliance has seen fit to issue a “statement” supporting the “new and improved” boathouse. Exactly how they could do so without actually seeing the plans (and I have been assured by a board member she has not seen them— this same person was not in favor of issue a statement regarding this facility) makes one wonder exactly who is greasing the wheels so to speak. In any case, it speaks volumes about a so-called environmental organization— or at least their more strident members— when they are willing to do “business” with someone who was busted for operating an illegal waste trade facility— LAST YEAR. And of course there’s those Federal tax liens to consider. Not too sure I want to give money to such a person— but what do I know?

I will leave you with one question, gentle readers:

If this new and improved boathouse is so great, why was it not even made public until a blogger (me) broke the story?

This stinks to high heaven, folks…

Posted by missheather Leave a Comment

A New York Shitty Op Ed: Banned From FB

September 27, 2011 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Fuck This Shit

(Or: How To Get a 24 Hour “Time Out” Courtesy of Facebook In Two Easy Steps)

It has not necessarily been an easy month for yours truly. This has been doubly the case the last few days; someone placed a particularly nasty piece of code into this web site thus directing it to a host of spam/phishing sites. It took the Mister two days to finally track it down and eradicate it. The result is what you are seeing now. I assure you, dear readers, this format merely temporary. But I digress.

We were not alone in this endeavor to rid New York Shitty of its “guest”. A very nice lady named Lisanne helped us and to this end she and I dialoged via Facebook as the Mister worked furiously until late into the night. Wishing to thank her, I tried to log onto Facebook yesterday morning (so as to shoot her a message). This was the missive which awaited me:

For those of you who are not in the know, this is not the first time I have been admonished for violating Facebook’s “Statement of Rights & Responsibilities”. This was my second strike. I’m not too certain what happens on “strike three” but I imagine I will find out soon enough.

What precipitated my first run-in with the Facebook Police, you ask? The answer will amuse you: Michele Bachmann. More specifically, this rather hideous photo of her eating a corn dog.

When I first spied this photo on Copyranter I cringed. Then I started laughing fiendishly with utter abandon. I was of the distinct impression that the more people who knew about/saw this image, the better. So I made it my avatar. It was a big hit— but alas, I got “caught”. I was given a warning by Facebook and forced to review their rules. Without further ado, here they are:

I’ll be perfectly frank: I stopped reading at “Bullying and Harassment”. The thought of (successfully) bullying Mrs. Bachmann— who has made more than a few people miserable herself— felt too damned good. Instead, I mulled the matter over and came to the conclusion that if this photo was flagged it was, perchance, because the “flagger” in question was a Rick Perry fan. So I decided to oblige him/her with a new avatar! I aim to please.

I know what you’re thinking:

This is what got Heather in trouble with Facebook!

No, it wasn’t. In fact, this was my avatar until last night. Mr. Perry administering “services” to Michelangelo’s “Adam” was somehow overlooked. Go figure. But before I give the reveal as to what happens when you cross Facebook twice (and tender an unobstructed image of the offending item) I would like to take a moment to review a few items I have posted which Facebook did not find objectionable:

This post (regarding the hysteria on non-Hurricane Irene) passed muster.

As did this. So employing a slang term for ejaculate is A-ok. Following me so far, folks? Excellent!

Memorializing a tree that looks like a “lady flower”? “No problem!” says Facebook!

Here’s the deal folks: we’re all adults. I suspect I speak on the behalf of the adult community when I write that being punished for a second infraction of Facebook’s (seemingly arbitrary) rules by being given a 24 hour “time out” (READ: being blocked from uploading any content or commenting on posts) is, well, childish. And this is exactly what happened yesterday:

I was then directed (once again) to their read “Community Standards”.

To recap:

1. No Threats
2. No Promoting Self Harm
3. Bullying & Harassment
4. Hate Speech
5. Graphic Violence
6. Sex & Nudity
7. Theft, Vandalism or Fraud
8. Identity & Privacy
9. Intellectual Property
10. Phishing & Spam

Are all covered in the 10 Commandments of Facebook. I want you, gentle readers, to keep these in mind when viewing what precipitated my 24 hour banishment from the their community. Drum roll please…

A photograph of one of my shoes into which one of our cats was kind enough to discharge a hairball. I’m not making this up.

New York Shitty analysis: I see lots of objectionable content online and on Facebook in particular. Instead of crying “moral outrage” and advocating censorship I simply vote with my point and clicks. In other words: I go elsewhere. Is a photo of a hairball-laden piece of footwear truly worthy of censure folks? Sure, it is disgusting— but still? After giving the matter some thought (which I am guessing was the purpose of this whole exercise: penance) I have concluded it wasn’t. In fact, I am going to conclude this post with a message to Facebook. Realizing it is “off-color” I have taken the liberty of punishing myself in advance in true Facebook “form”: a bar of Irish Spring right in the ol’ kisser!