It’s Snowing In Greenpoint!

December 19, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Yeah, I’m certain my fellow New Yorkers will hardly find this to be news. However, I bet you didn’t have the pleasure of savoring a gophersickle over your morning coffee!

Or would that be snowgopher? For those of you who are wondering what the hell this is here’s a picture of “Gertie” from last July. You can also read about her here.

These folks really should get the poor gal a coat.

It’s freezing out there!

Miss Heather

Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Rides

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

“The Beast”, Powers Street, Williamsburg, 11211.

“Gonna Get Got”, Powers Street, Williamsburg, 11211.

“The Bed Bug King”, Manhattan Avenue, Greenpoint, 11222.

Ask not for whom the Bed Bug King comes, he comes for thee!

One would think given the nature of what they’re exterminating the Bed Bug King would be a little more low key. I guess not. Having the “Bed Bug Mobile” parked in front of one’s digs has got to be more than little embarrassing. Ouch.

Miss Heather

‘Tis The Season: Pabst Santa

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Photo Credit: Mr. Heather

Art Direction: Miss Heather

Studio B Is Dead, Long Live Poisson Rouge!

December 18, 2008 ·
Filed under: Asshole, Greenpoint Magic 

Anyone want to buy a nightclub? If so, Studio B is for sale. Gothamist wrote:

Things aren’t looking so hot at Brooklyn club Studio B—Grub Street is reporting it’s on the market “for $1 million and a $22,000-per-month rent.” The club, based on Miami’s Studio A, has been hitting roadblocks all along since opening in Greenpoint two years ago. But so far neighbor complaints, stop work orders, Miss Heather, and illegal rooftops haven’t been able to shut the doors for good…until now? Promoter Justine D also shared her departure from the establishment in an email today, explaining: “I’ve been busy making the transition from STUDIO B to an amazing new venue called (LE) POISSON ROUGE.” Currently their calendar runs through the end of January.

There are a couple of points I would like to (kindly) call Gothamist on:

  1. Justine D left Studio B in October.
  2. Studio B has been on the market for some time now (Hey, if an employee at the Mayor’s Office of Special Enforcement knows it was on the block back in August, who doesn’t?)
  3. I know for a fact an event slated for March 2009 at Studio B was axed and moved elsewhere. Hmm…

The previous having been written, I would like to take a moment to post (and savor) this rather snarky and utterly assholic comment from one of Studio B’s hired guns (regarding this post):

Please be advised that the Department of Consumer Affairs issued a Cabaret License for Studio B on September 22, 2008, pursuant to which it is operating. The roof remains closed pending further work and inspection.

Sincerely,
Paul J. Proulx, Attorney for Studio B

Duly noted Paul, although I am disappointed Ken Fisher didn’t email me personally. I hate getting missives from underpaid wipers of other people’s bottoms. But then again I suppose I should expect to get guff from the “B” team (as a citizen and blogger). It doesn’t really matter now anyway, does it? You got your paycheck.

Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: A Garden Spot X-Mas

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Rheingold (who shot the above photographs) writes:

Some holiday happiness (and strangeness) from my recent visit back to the neighborhood.Best of everything for the holidays and ’09.

Right back at ya Rheingold and thanks for sharing! Anyone out there know what a “grave blanket” is? If so, please share.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Wish Fulfillment

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

From the Queens-bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

Exxon Claus?

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Many of you who have lamented over Manhattan Avenue’s lack of Yuletime wattage might have noticed the fancy energy efficient lights that were fired up last Friday, December 12. Well, as it would happen they have a very interesting benefactor (from the December 10th edition of the Greenpoint Gazette):

…Town Square still faces the daunting task of raising the funds for the lights. Companies like ExxonMobil, MetroFuel, and the New York Power Authority have pledged their support and Assemblymember Joe Lentol, Councilmember David Yassky, and Esposito have lent their voices to the call for community support. The Greenpoint Gazette, Greenpoint Lions, and North Brooklyn Development Corporation are helping with collections from local merchants.

Yup, you just read that Exxon is one of the folks ponying up the dough for these bad boys. I don’t know about you, but the given sheer environmental havoc this company has wreaked on our community and the fact that petrol is going for a pretty penny these days I would have expected our “neighbor” (Who some of you might remember co-sponsored Earth Day at McCarren Park this year!) to single-handedly fund a Dyker-fucking-Heightsesque spectacle bathing our main drag in retina-searing glory. Hell, it damned better be visible from outer space for that matter!

In other words, not something that looks like a raver’s glow wand or a swizzle stick gracing a Mai Tai at the local Tiki Club.

Call me a scrooge but this is insulting. Seriously.

Miss Heather

P.S.: The reason the usual lights were not up this year is because ponying up money for them is completely voluntary. And in a sour economy people clasp their wallets a little more tightly than usual. Had Manhattan Avenue created a Business Improvement District (thus spreading the financial burden equally among business owners) it is probable we would have had are usual garish show of holiday cheer this year. Several attempts have been made to start a B.I.D. here. All have failed. Mostly in part to one person who saw fit to engage in a campaign of misinformation about what creating a such an entity entails.

Grand Street has a B.I.D. They have Christmas lights.

Graham Avenue also has a B.I.D. They too have Christmas lights. (See where I’m going with this?)

They also have a holiday trolley to take you to see Santa Claus this weekend.

But the Garden Spot doesn’t have a B.I.D. So we get “Exxon Claus” instead. Lucky us. You can see last year’s lights (courtesy of our very own Bitchcakes) by pointing and clicking your way over to the New York Shitty photo pool.

A Few Events Of Interest For Our Jewish Friends

December 17, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Manhattan 

As many of you are aware Hanukkah kicks off this Sunday, December 21. Follow are a couple of events our fellow friends of the book might find of interest from Greenpoint and beyond.

First up, Greenpoint’s very own Congregation Ahavas Israel will be kicking things off a celebration this upcoming Sunday starting at 5:00 p.m. For the price of your $20.00 admission ($10.00 for the young ‘uns) you’ll get live music, dancing, dreydel games and latkes for your delectation. Yum!

Hanukkah Celebration
December 21, 2008, 5:00 p.m.
Ahavas Israel
109 Noble Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Those of you seeking festivities of the more unconventional kind (or simply like anything featuring Mexican bandits) will undoubtedly find this item (which yours truly found posted in the door of Christina’s Restaurant.

The details about this revue are pretty scant on Heeb Magazine’s web site. However, I’d gladly fork over $20.00 for an hour of free margaritas and to see anyone calling themselves Strip Dreidel and the Kinky Jews out of sheer principle. What’s more, this sounds like a helluva lot of fun!

HEEBONISM
December 24, 2008 9:00 p.m. – 3:00 a.m. (That’s Christmas Eve to you and me.)
Fontana’s
105 Eldridge Street
New York, New York 10002

Miss “I don’t need no stinking badge” Heather

UPDATE, 4:50 p.m.: I received an email from one of the wizards over at Heeb Magazine with a most interesting clarification regarding this event. Brian writes:

Hey, you guys.

I really appreciate the plug for our party. Thanks a mill. Let me know if you guys want to come, and I’ll get you on our list.

Though I should clarify: “Strip Dreidel with Kinky Jews” isn’t a band. Rather we are actually having some hornball kosher kids play a game that involves, yes, taking their clothes off.

And there will be gift bags galore. Free Silver Bullet vibrators from Babeland. Get there early to nab ’em.

Thanks again, Shitty people!

It doesn’t get much better than this folks.

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Fun With Construction Fences On West Street

December 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Just think, if you lived here you’d be home(less) by now! I wonder if these digs come with a concierge?

Miss Heather

A Little Greenpoint Trivia: 1922-2007

December 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

While the above graffiti (which hails from Green Street) is hardly anything new (it’s been around for just over 1 1/2 years now), in light of some asshole’s recent defacement of most them I have been behooved to finally write a post it here on New York Shitty. Any of you out there care to guess what this star shape and set of dates is referencing? I know what it is and its pretty darned neat!

Miss Heather

P.S.: For the reveal click here.

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