Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
Urban Artifact, Part II: Special Feels Like Fall Edition
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Artifact, Wow, WTF
Today I had a craving for Mexican food. Well, not “Mexican” food per se. I craved crap. To this end I patronized the Taco Bell located on the Champs-Élysées of the Garden Spot: McGuinness Boulevard. Upon exiting with my bag of unhealthy goodness I noticed two perfectly placed pairs of coordinating footwear atop the garbage can. How they got there is anyone’s guess. I simply found how they coordinated with the building compelling and strangely beautiful.
After snapping this shot I opted to enjoy my burrito al fresco. I took a stroll along Provost Street. There outside the premises of the Newtown Creek Waste Water Treatment Facility— in the shadow of the Shit Tits— I happened upon another urban artifact. It too was compelling but most decidedly not beautiful.
It is rare, gentle readers, that I happen upon something that makes me lose my appetite. After closer examination of the item in question (and shooting burrito bits out of my nose) this is exactly what happened. The burrito was placed back in the bag and out came the camera.
I suppose I should take the glass half-full approach:
1. The parties responsible for the piece of love’s detritus which awaited my delectation engaged in safe sex.
2. Greenpoint— especially its more remote/secluded nooks and crannies— is and has long been for lovers.
WARNING/CAVEAT: once this is seen, it cannot be unseen. Click at your own risk.
Urban Fur: Special Parks & Recreation Edition
Ever had the feeling you were being watched? I experienced just this today at WNYC Transmitter Park. So I stopped, looked around and, sure enough, I was right!
I am not a rodentologist— but I have been a resident of our fair city (in three boroughs, no less) close to two decades. In this capacity I:
- have had one run across my foot.
- have seen the tremendous enthusiasm with which our resident pest control experts (READ: cats) dispatch Rattus norvegicus young ‘uns. To cite an example:
Me (to the Mister): Is that a rubber band hanging out of Tortilla’s mouth?
The Mister: No, it isn’t. Don’t go into the kitchen.No, gentle readers, I did not spy with my little eye a rubber band. They were rat innards. Actually make that EX rat innards. - patronize the New York City subway system.
Suffice it to say I am not the least bit squeamish when it comes to our furry friends. Quite to the contrary. When I see them scurrying about subway platforms or along the tracks I offer words of encouragement. E.g;
Run, Forrest, run!*
Surely the previous points count for something? You bet your sweet ass they do! As far as rodents go this is one fine specimen: clear eyes, shiny coat and a mite bit— how shall we say— rotund. In fact, he (?) was not much smaller than a couple of canines I saw running (off-leash, of course) fifteen to twenty feet away. I think I will name my new friend Ben…
*Try this. I guarantee it will net you a nice, wide berth of passage on the platform.
Urban Artifact, Part I: Pulaski Bridge
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Urban Artifact
If anyone out there is in need of a not-so-gently-used kiddie pool (and you know who you are) head over to McGuinness Boulevard, east side, between Ash and Box Street…
(Taken November 3, 2014.)
The Word On The Street, Part II: West Street
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Art, The Word On The Street
Taken November 3, 2014.
Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Presenting The “Four People” Policy
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Street Justice, The Word On The Street
One has to admire the evocative word-smithing and brutal honesty employed in this missive. I can only imagine the series of events that came to pass so as to require such a policy. I am not sure I want to know. If I ever find my person in need of “work wear”, I am totally taking my business to this establishment. Well done, Zoe’s!
The Word On The Street, Part I: McGuinness Boulevard
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, The Word On The Street
Taken November 3, 2014.
Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Halloween Redux
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, New York City
Halloween is without argument my favorite day of the year. It is the one day I interface with children in any significant, prolonged manner. I am Auntie Mame for a day! I explained it to one parent of a trick or treater this way (after she admonished her brood to exercise their manners and thank me*):
The pleasure is all mine. I look at it this way: I get to enjoy all the cute costumes and talk to the kids. In return for this I give them candy. When I am done I go back to enjoying the fact I am NOT a parent. You are the one who has to handle them once they get all hopped up on sweets. I get all of the fun with none of the consequences!
She laughed and wholeheartedly concurred with my analysis.
While the kids I met yesterday were great, the costumes by and large were lacking: most were store bought. There is nothing wrong with this, mind you. I understand many parents do not have the time and/or inclination to DIY it. However, one fellow did— and quite frankly it is one of the most amazing Halloween get-ups I have ever seen.
Behold, a stroller retrofitted into a Sanitation truck replete with logo! The young un’, naturally, is dressed up as one of New York’s Strongest. Not only is this one of the most imaginative “costumes” I have ever beheld, but I have a confession to make: I harbor a great deal of admiration and respect for our fair city’s Sanitation workers. You know how the adage goes:
It’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it.
Not only is it dirty work, but it also among one of the most dangerous civil service occupations to be had. It is more dangerous than being a police officer or firefighter. Don’t believe me? Click here and read for yourself. In Halloweens past I have beheld a bevy of our Bravest and plenty of petite policemen. Yesterday our Strongest finally got the nod they deserve.
This one’s for you, guys (and ladies)!
*I feel compelled to state for the record that all the kids to whom I gave candy deported themselves nicely. Many “Thank Yous” or— from the more bashful, smiles and nods— were tendered. The only problematic incident came at the behest of a parent. She somehow felt entitled to “select” her toddler’s candy. My educated guess is her selection was for her own delectation. Guess what? Heather don’t play that.
No, gentle readers, it simply does not work that way. I made this abundantly clear too. More specifically, I replied:
You either take the Baby Ruth bar or you get nothing.
She took it.
UPDATE, 4:24 p.m.: As I have been whiling away this bleak, cold afternoon via housework I mulled over this year’s Halloween experience. In so doing, I had a capital idea. This I pitched to the Mister: he agreed. Next year, there will be a special cache of candy for the parents of:
- especially well-behaved/charming children
- toddlers who are beginning to get their fatigue-induced. terrible two/threes crankies on.
Any questions?
Urban Artifact: Old School
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy
Taken October 31, 2014.
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Phone Home
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy
Taken October 31, 2014.
Urban Artifact: Jail Bear International Superstar?
Filed under: 11222, BAD ASS, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy, Urban Artifact
(OR: 726 Days & Counting!)
Yes, gentle readers, this would appear to be the case— and right here and now I am going to share the good news!
This morning started off as any other: I get up, put on a pot of coffee and head to the computer. First I check my email, then I check my site. The latter experienced a spike in traffic. I found this rather strange given I have not been blogging much of late. Thus I perused incoming links. It was quickly discerned that one site was responsible for this. Naturally my curiosity got the better of me: I pointed and clicked. I braced myself in anticipation of material of a highly adult nature. It turned out not to be porn. It is infinitely more awesome than that. See for yourselves!
It would appear that our very own Jail Bear has merited the attention of a web site in Hungary. Granted, big in Hungary does not an international superstar make— but it is still pretty darned cool. Given I did not have a Hungarian phrasebook handy, I made my way over to Google Translate to see what they had to say about this ad hoc testement to civic pride. The translation is a mite bit obtuse but the essence comes across:
This is a sad teddy bear sitting behind bars in Greenpoint Avenue, Brooklyn, has appeared in the middle of June. The last two months has kultmacivá, followers, Instagramon hundred over the number of images. Nobody knows how he got here. The Bacardi- glass sometimes replacing vizesflaskára Many people are fed maternal feelings for him, while others say straight creepy. “- read the Facebook page to report overseas.
The NewYorkShitty also collected quite a few photos of the sad maciról, who has been held accountable as part of street art and the Bear Jail – that bear jail – dubbed plüssr?l made ??continuously published photos also make it: here you can watch!
Not only did my humble web site merit a link, but a Facebook page pertaining to Hungarian tourism is featured as well. Fascinating.
In any case, I suspect I speak for a number of Jail Bear’s fans when I write that he is not creepy— at least not in comparison to other things to be found hereabouts. On a number of occasions I have seen parents headed to nearby WNYC Transmitter Park stop so their children can say “Hi” to him and/or tell him about his/her day. He dutifully listens too.
For the above-stated reason I have a very hard time believing Jail Bear is sad. He’s quite beloved. Nonetheless, I decided to take up this matter directly with Jail Bear. The scene which awaited me this morning was quite surprising.
Jail Bear not only seems to be taking his fifteen minutes of fame in stride, but he is actually quite happy!
What’s more, he has something to say to his new friends— and hopefully fans— in Hungary!
Okay, I’ll admit it: I dressed up Jail Bear and made the sign. But as I told a passerby (after explaining Jail Bear’s newfound celebrity status), I did so— and I quote:
in the interest of fostering positive international relations.
He found this to be a kind gesture. Taylor Swift may the the official face of tourism in New York City, but in Greenpoint (or at least the corner of Franklin Street and Greenpoint Avenue) this sinecure belongs to Jail Bear. In closing, I feel compelled to note that I have never met a Hungarian, much less a Hungarian tourist. Not only does this need to change but I am quite looking forward to the experience…
You didn’t think I was going to pass up an opportunity like this, gentle readers. Really? In all seriousness:
Happy Halloween, Hungary from New York Shitty (and of course, Jail Bear)!
UPDATE, 2:37 p.m.: it has been brought to my attention that the fellow responsible for this bear’s incarceration prefers the moniker “Prison Bear”. So there have you!
P.S.: An interesting fact learned today: if one ever finds him or herself in the highly unlikely predicament of needing an empty liquor bottle on the fly, check out the planters outside of WNYC Transmitter Park. You can rest assured they will deliver!
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