Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: What Is Wrong With This Picture?
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
During his stay at Chez Shitty my father got to witness firsthand the hilarity that is life in Greenpoint. Upon arriving he beheld the barricaded glory that is 110 Green Street and, appropriately enough, shortly before he departed we got a few chuckles courtesy of the following.
What is wrong with this picture? If you guessed the giant nondo to the left you are only half correct. If you look a little more closely you’ll notice…
this traffic sign. Note the direction the of the cars parked on this block. Now note the orientation of this sign. Now factor in that Green is a one way street and you get the idea.
For those of you who are not in the know there is a stop sign located on this block within eyeshot of the above-depicted sign.
Unfortunately it is located in the opposite direction. Whoops. It just goes to show there is no job, however small, this city cannot manage to bungle. Given that our municipal guardians had a 50/50 chance of getting it right this is no small feat. Way to go guys.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: The Horror Of 200 Franklin Street
Many of you who have read this blog over the years are all too familiar with my fixation on an architect named Karl Fischer. There reasons for this are manifold but they all essentially boil down to the fact he is responsible for some of the more hideous (and enormous) structures that now pollute north Brooklyn’s landscape. Enough so that my good friend Bob Guskind named a strip of Bayard Street (which features a number of his “creations”) Karl Fischer Row.
Unfortunately what some seem to have overlooked is Mr. Fischer has also left an indelible imprint upon Williamsburg’s less famous sister: Greenpoint. 305 McGuinness Boulevard and 130 Diamond Street are two of the better known pieces of Karl’s handiwork to be found here. And then of course you have 200 Franklin Street.
When completed this— one of the most woeful examples of modification permit abuse and one of the ugliest things mankind has ever concocted— will be what the residents of the Astral, a landmark building, will have to look at every day. Lest I have not made myself perfectly clear already: I loathe this building. And this morning as I perused my inbox I learned I am not alone.
What’s more he (or she) decided to make his/her feelings known to this building’s creators.
Odin writes:
Dear Miss Heather,
I thought I would share something of my own pursuits as it is particularly relevant to the Franklin St. development discussion. Attached are images of a poster I made in response to the building going up at 200 Franklin St. It is disheartening that something even more gargantuan could be erected at 60 Commercial St which is now such a tranquil post industrial setting.
The screen printed posters were not received well and were quickly painted over. Not as many people saw them as I had hoped, but I may do a second run.
Your fellow neighbor
Follows is what the folks at 200 Franklin Street did not want you to see.
It came… a lurking twelve story behemoth that sought to devour the surrounding skyline. Can any force keep this monstrous edifice from casting its shadowy pall over the neighborhood or will this building become another…
ARCHITECTURAL DISASTER!!!
Excellent question, Odin. You can read more about how this poster came into being by clicking here.
Miss Heather
This Is Why I Like Teenagers
(Or, The G Train Strikes Back)
This morning my parents made their return to the Land of Enchantment. Our week long vacation seeing the sights of this fair city (the fun stuff, not the offal shilled in travel brochures) was pretty uneventful. That is until we decided to go to Manducatis last night for dinner. Or more accurately when we decided to come home via (you guessed it) the G train. For a Tuesday evening the train was curiously crowded. Mostly with teenagers in a very lively mood. I chose to sit next to them. My parents— not being acclimatized to such shenanigans (as are most retirees)— kept their distance. In hindsight this was an excellent decision on their part, as you will learn.
After we got off at Greenpoint Avenue we dropped by the local wine store and headed home. It was as I was headed up the stairs of our apartment building that the Mister spied something nested in the hood of my jacket. Upon closer inspection he told me what it was. Follows is my reply:
You’re kidding, right?
No. He wasn’t.
After we established that the prophylactic in question was indeed unused I ceased to care. My mother (who can be seen recoiling in horror in the background of the above photograph which was taken by Mister Heather*) felt differently. Now that I have had time to think about it, it isn’t so much the fact that someone saw fit to use me as some kind of walking advertisement for safe sex that troubles me. I’ve had lit cigarettes flung at my person with amazing accuracy. And worse. Public humiliation no longer fazes me. Rather, it’s the fact that I walked 2-3 city blocks with this hilarious item in tow and no one seemed to notice. Or care.
In closing I’d like to give a heaping helping of New York Shitty gratitude to those mischievous youths on the Smith – 9th bound G train. You gave my parents the quintessential Crosstown Local experience. Thanks guys!
Miss Heather
*Who then proceeded to tell my parents:
She comes home with condoms stuck to her all the time.
Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: What A Piece Of Work Is The Crosstown Local
Nassau Avenue
O Wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O Brave new world
That has such people in it!
Greenpoint Avenue
What piece of work is a man the G train! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! In apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? man delights not me: no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so. — William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act II, Scene II
Miss Heather
Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: A Splash Of Color
Today the “Heather Clan” made the obligatory trip to Chinatown and the East Village. Not only did I have a great time (Miss Heather loves her some Chinatown!), but I took a number of photographs which I will share with you soon. In the meantime here is a pair of absolutely stunning images from a little closer to home courtesy of mugsniffer. Enjoy!
South 2nd Street, 11211
Russell Street, 11222
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Greenpoint Orcs?
Kevin Gillespie (the person who shot the above photographs) writes (in an email entitled elves and orcs on eckford and leonard):
hey miss heather, i think we’re about to be thrust in the middle of some kind of ancient battle of monsters and magic folk… or just an itchy case of dork-rash. some uh– person– is tagging in what looks like elvish. i found the first set on leonard and norman and the second on eckford and nassau. i would have translated these myself with the power of the internet but im a 31 year old man.
Indeed. If anyone out there is up to translating the above missives please leave your findings in the comments. Inquiring Greenpoint humans want to know!
Miss Heather
UPDATE, 5:54 p.m.: Here are two more examples of this mystery writing courtesy of Bitchcakes (see comments).
Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Always
From the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue.
Miss Heather
Congratulations Kill Devil Hill!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Yesterday (as I was enjoying what little sunshine were are likely to see until Thursday) I spied a gentleman photographing the front of Kill Devil Hill. After musing about how original I find this establishment’s window displays I asked him if he was shutterbugging this shop for business or pleasure. He told me it was indeed a paid gig and that our very own procurer of stuffed musk rats is going to be in Lucky Magazine. Way to go, guys!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Three
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Dobbin Street
Guernsey Street
Norman Avenue
Manhattan Avenue
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Synchronicity
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
One of the things I really like about getting reader inquiries (other than getting a better sense of what you find of interest and/or concern in the community as a whole) is it frequently serves to remind to write about something that I had otherwise forgotten about. In the case of today’s post this is the above lot, which is located on Commercial Street just west of Franklin. Sean writes:
Hey,
Noticed your latest piece about 65 Commercial St. Not sure if this is related, but lately I’ve noticed construction materials and tents arriving to the giant vacant lot between this spot and the baseball/basketball park at the very end of the street. I saw a guy posted in there a couple wknds ago, but he had no idea what the stuff was for, he was just told to guard it.
I thought you could work your magic and find out a little more. I’m dreaming one day this will be a park, but not optimistic.
All I had to do in the way of “magic” to answer Sean’s question is locate a very compelling email buried in my inbox. It is written by a woman named Nika and read as follows:
Hi Miss Heather! Just thought you’d be curious to know that apparently that esteemed group is going to be in our hood. Scorsese is working on a series called Boardwalk Empire for HBO that the entire internet is calling the next Sopranos. It’s set in 1920s Atlantic City, and a nice lackey man working pre-production for the show told me they’re building a 300-foot replica of the old Atlantic City boardwalk on Franklin and Commercial. I haven’t seen any evidence of it yet, but I’m keeping my eyes peeled. Can’t even think of what exactly is out there right now. Nothing, right? Scorsese is directing the pilot, Wahlberg is producing, Buscemi is starring (along with Michael Pitt and some other folks). I have a few links to more info on tumblr… Anywhos, thanks! Love yr blog.
So there have you. Not only does it appear that something downright cool is afoot in our own backyard, but we also have a New York Shitty first: a reader question answered by an serendipitously well-timed email from another reader. Sometimes you gotta love the Internet!
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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