A New York Shitty Public Service Announcement: 626 Manhattan Avenue

June 4, 2015 ·
Filed under: 11222, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit, WTF

Any/all residents of the previously-mentioned building, please pay attention— this post may very well save you some distress (and seriously soiled footwear).

Today as after exiting the Green Garden Deli on Manhattan Avenue I noticed a smell. A very bad, yet familiar smell. I looked to my left and, lo, I located the source. Read on, gentle readers, as you will see (but thankfully not smell) why this was not terribly difficult to ascertain.

It ain’t pretty.

Exactly how the gentleman to the right, clearly in possession of a nose, remained unaware of the colossal pile of crap just to his right eludes me. Nonetheless, you know what they say about New York City. You can get practically anything delivered right to your doorstep.

And, as I learned today, this includes a prodigious pile of poop large replete with a value-added asswipe. Watch where you walk, Garden Spotters!

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From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: Greenpoint

May 31, 2015 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic

Taken by Scott Dolan.

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From The New York Shitty Inbox: Save Greenpoint

May 18, 2015 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Hooliganism, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy

A person we’ll call “abc” writes:

Hi Miss Heather,

This may be old news by now but saw from the ferry this morning that our beloved ‘Save the Palestine’ water tower now (less-legibly) reads something else— ‘Save GPOINT’

These days it would seem Greenpoint could use some saving.

Indubitably. Well played, anonymous vandal!

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Quicklink: Drawbridge Goes On…

May 15, 2015 ·
Filed under: 11222, Fuck This Shit, Gentrification, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic

Gothamist really nailed this headline (click on the above image for the full “story”). The Brooklyn Barge Bar is about a lot of other things than booze. Thus why I am sharing for everyone’s edification the statement issued by Community Board 1 Brooklyn’s SLA/DCA Committee recommending this liquor license be denied. Enjoy some facts for a change, gentle readers!

Community Board 1 Brooklyn voted against this liquor license being granted.

Who does not want to feast upon a $22.00 skirt steak next to a sewage discharge point?

I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

P.S.: If Bedford + Bowery is listening: exactly when are you going to approve my comment? Simply curious.

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Great Moments In Greenpoint Siding: Special DIY Motor Vehicle Edition

May 1, 2015 ·
Filed under: 11222, GENIUS, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic

Yes, gentle readers, that is plywood which has be re-purposed (and painted) so as to constitute a door. Is it my intention to ridicule the person responsible for this creation, you ask? Absolutely not. I have a very, VERY high respect for this kind of ingenuity. What’s more, it has a “retro” (a la “woodie”) touch. Well done!

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Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: Great Moments In Advertising Placement

April 27, 2015 ·
Filed under: 11222, Crosstown Local, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic

Those of you who have not done so already really should to take a moment to enjoy this amusing (and therefore completely unintentional) choice of advertising placement courtesy of the M.T.A. On the left we have Amy Schumer. As you can see she is flanked by a number of buttocks. This is of course in reference to this sketch. On the right we have an advertisement for buttock enhancement because apparently folks do in fact have and will expend $3,900 to get a bigger ass. Who knew?

This being the G train it goes without saying that both advertisements have been “enhanced”. The advertisement on the right received a fart cloud. Nice. Ms. Schumer on the other hand (quite literally)…

got this happy little snail. Given the vandalism modus operandi hereabouts (penis in mouth) I am going to take this as a sign of respect— possibly even fan-dom. Right on.

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