Great Moments In Cross Selling: Greenpoint Avenue

March 12, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

(Or: Tastes Great, Less Filling)

beerandlingerie

Genius. Pure genius.

Miss Heather

Great Minds Think Alike: Forgotten NY Does Greenpoint…

March 10, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek, Queens, Sunnyside 

shittitsthumbnailAVENUE, that is. Shortly after I took a jaunt down Greenpoint Avenue here in the Garden Spot my buddy Kevin over at Forgotten NY decided to write a “Street Scenes” feature about the wonderful things to be found on this thoroughfare both in its namesake ‘nabe and beyond! I was particularly moved by his coverage of what we Greenpointers fondly call the “Shit Tits” (as seen at left):

Anaerobic Digestion Boobs

Well, we’ve seen the udders … here are the boobs …These somewhat disturbing objects at North Henry Street are called digester eggs. Through a process called anaerobic digestion they reduce the volume of sludge (what’s left of sewage after debris and liquid are removed) by nearly half. The egg shape is a space-efficient and minimal maintenance European design. The green thing in between the eggs is an elevator, in case you want to see what’s going on up there.

I never, EVER thought I would see the day Kevin Walsh would use the word boobs on Forgotten NY. I suppose I am rubbing off on him. This may or may not be a good thing but I can state with 100% certainty that this post is well worth reading. Check it out!

Miss Heather

P.S.: For more information/infotainment about the Newtown Waste Treatment Facility check out my piece over at the Poop Report.

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Where The Buffalo Roam

March 4, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek 

roses

gptscrapmetal

cowpoke3a

oneway

cowpokewshittits

newtowncreek

naturewalk

From Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

Borough Of Found Toys Volume VI

March 4, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

bearonbikegarsav

Last night I was absolutely thrilled to find this great photograph from Garsav in my photo pool. In fact I liked it so much I wanted it to kick off this— arguably the latest and greatest installment of my “Found Toys” series. Enjoy!

bearongrahamave

From Graham Avenue.

bearonmcguinness

From McGuinness Boulevard.

moon-over-eagle-street

From Eagle Street.

bikeonbedford

bikeonbedford5

bikeonbedford3

bikeonbedford4

bikeonbedford2

to-heaven

From Bedford Avenue.

Miss Heather


Greenpoint Back In The Day: Key Food

March 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

keyfood1

Like a number of lucky people I am whiling away my afternoon in the warm confines of Chez Shitty. To keep myself busy I have been reviewing my stash of snaps of Greenpoint from back in the day and decided to share the above juxtaposition of the intersection of Greenpoint Avenue and McGuinness Boulevard. The top photograph dates from the 1980’s 1970’s. The lower shot was taken yesterday afternoon by yours truly. I think we can all agree that although The Garden Spot of the Universe has experienced a number of changes over the years (many of which have not been very poisitve), the last thirty odd years have been very, very kind to McGuinness Boulevard. You’re only getting better with age Mickey G, here’s looking at you, kid!

Miss Heather

WANTED IN GREENPOINT: Educated Physicist

February 25, 2009 ·
Filed under: Area 51, Crazy People, Greenpoint Magic 

Chris, the discoverer of this wonderful item, writes:

Hello Miss Heather,

…thought you might find this interesting.  Not sure if you’ve seen this yet, but this flier was posted on the street lamp on Franklin and Greenpoint Ave., right outside of the Pencil Factory this morning.  Obviously, my cell phone picture is less than great quality, but apparently someone who is close to building a time machine in Greenpoint is looking for physicist to work on some of the numbers for said time machine.

Not sure if it’s a hoax or not, but it’s entertaining nonetheless.

wanted

I am an inventor who are very close to the fabrication of working TIME MACHINE here in Greenpoint workshop. I’m looking for a consultant who is Math educated to help with difficult equations.

Looking for local Mathematician/Theoretical Physicist: preferably with (unintelligible) engineering experience and a willing-desire to explore the future and past.

Payment deferred. If Consultation and math correct then payment will be immediate upon answering this posting.

If this posting is still up I have not figured the time machine out yet and need your help! Must have knowledge of…

Any “educated physicists” interested in following up this most unique employment opportunity should make his (or her) way to the southwestern corner of Greenpoint Avenue and Franklin Street without delay as this appears to be a limited time offer. Good luck…

and have a safe trip!

Miss Heather

UPDATE, February 27, 2009: You can see this advert in some semblance of entirety by clicking here.

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Fashion

February 20, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

chickenshit

The missive comes courtesy of the Smith – 9th platform at Greenpoint Avenue’s very own G train. On a semi-related note Williamsburg’s Fashion Weekend kicks off today. Maybe they can teach these reality television fucktards a few things about style? Or not. In any case here’s a snippet from their press release:

Williamsburg Fashion Weekend!

See where up-and-coming Brooklyn designers are taking fashion. The presentations are anything but ordinary or predictable, with show-specific live music scores and artist performances.

When: Friday, February 20th, and Saturday, February 21st, 2009.

– Featuring the collections of eight Brooklyn designers.

– Four collections on Friday. Four collections on Saturday.

Where: At Glasslands Gallery in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Williamsburg Fashion Weekend
February 20 -21, 2009
Glasslands Gallery

289 Kent Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211

For more details click here. No kid should be forced to wear a candy-ass outfit like this. Do it for the children!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Just Like Any Other Day Edition

February 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

headless

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Hanging In There

February 13, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

cart1

cart2

From Greenpoint Avenue.

Miss Heather

Greenwick Photos Du Jour: More Pre-Valentine’s Day Goodness

February 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

Here’s another installment of north Brooklyn love to get your heart pumpin’ this upcoming Valentine’s Day weekend!

befordavelove

A Bedford Avenue recession special.

vdaybonus

Laid off? No worries, Just For Fun on Manhattan Avenue has your severance package!*

iheartjr

Someone on McKibben Street hearts J.R.

polskilove

A very Greenpoint (Avenue) Valentine.

hymenhunter

And last— but not least— ladies, beware of the Seigel Street hymen hunter!

Miss Heather

*They also have an assortment of anatomically correct (in all the right or wrong places— one’s sense of taboo and/or religious upbringing notwithstanding) inflatable lady dolls behind the counter for all you single guys out there. Hey, at least you won’t need Plan B the morning after!

Tell ’em Miss Heather sent you.

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