Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: F*ck Fare Hikes

April 28, 2009 ·
Filed under: Clinton Hill, Crosstown Local 

fuckfarehikes

You can always leave it to our friends in Clinton Hill to set the record straight as to how we G trainers feel about the Metropolitan Transit Authority.

Miss Heather

Great Moments In Product Placement: Sephora Smackdown

April 14, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

sephoraatgreenpointave

Those of you who have read this blog over the years probably have deduced that I am a feminist. This is true. But unlike some of my sisters I also sport a sense of humor. Riding the G train demands a certain appreciation for the absurd. In short, the Crosstown Local would probably make Franz Kafka, Kurt Vonnegut and George Orwell— rock stars in my literary universe— chuckle. Which brings me back to the above advertisement.

areyouready2

Are you ready for a fateful encounter on the subway?

This advertisement from Sephora asks— in the hope of playing upon a woman’s insecurity about her personal appearance. On the G train. A subway line I can assure you is laden with sexy beasts of the male variety. NOT.

After some careful consideration I created the following rebuttal via a PowerPoint flow chart. A medium specifically designed to be digested by idiots with a short attention span: not unlike what the wizards behind Sephora’s advertisement had in mind. Simply less sexy. That’s the G train way.

are-you-ready

Do the math.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: It’s BAAAACK!

April 11, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

1877bunion1

April 11, 2009



Metropolitan Transit Authority
Attn: H. Dale Hemmerdinger, Chairman
347 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 10017-3739



Re: advertisement on Queens-bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue



Dear Mr. Hemmerdinger,

What did my community ever do to you to deserve this? I mean, I can handle the odd pervert whipping out his penis— but hammertoes too? Have a heart, Dale. Please.

Sincerely,



Miss Heather
Proprietress of New York Shitty, Greenpoint citizen & patron of the Crosstown Local

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Total Consciousness

April 6, 2009 ·
Filed under: Advanced Life Forms, Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

In all my years of patronizing the G train I have seen a lot of shit. You name it and chances are I’ve probably seen, heard, touched, smelled— and yes— tasted it at some time or another. For better or worse, the Crosstown Local is a feast for all five senses— and probably a few more. I have grown to accept this fact and find it quite endearing to be perfectly frank. The previous having been said once in a very blue moon I will encounter something that confounds even me. Tonight I had one such experience.

photosynthesisnys

To truly appreciate this product of enlightened thought* click on the above image and peruse a larger photograph of the rather amazing revelation some anonymous (but very talented nonetheless) subway goer had while waiting for the “Gee, where the hell is it?” train. I’m guessing he (or she) had a lot of time on her hands to execute a master work of this caliber. This is hardly surprising.

I suppose you could also head to the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue and see it in person. Whichever best suits your time/space equilibrium. Either way it is time (and/or a Metrocard swipe) well spent.

Gunga Galunga…

Miss Heather

*And given the fact this missive is on an advertisement for Dunkin Donuts, probably some blue chip sensimilla.

An India Street Public Service Announcement: MISSING

March 23, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

Many of you have probably noticed that I am very much an animal person. This is the reason I feature adoptable pets on this site. It is also why I pass along fliers for lost pets when I encounter them.

entrancetog

Today’s item (which is located just outside the entrance for the Queens bound G train at India Street) puts me in a bit of a semantical quandary. From what I could tell what was lost was not a pet per se. However it does appear to mean a lot to its “keeper” so I am going to err on the side of caution and post it here.

missing

You know what they say:

What happens at the Glenwood Hotel should stay at the Glenwood Hotel.

Unfortunately Jmz didn’t. If you have seen “Jmz” (AKA: ghst or Nagi) please contact ghstsnguitars at the above email address.

Your immediate attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.

Miss Heather

Bi-Borough Photos Du Jour: People In My Neighborhood

yellowchick

Bedford Avenue, Williamsburg

juniorandson

Metropolitan Avenue, Williamsburg

tuesday-afternoon-on-vandervoortnys

Vandervoort Avenue, Greenpoint

jemal

Anthony Street, Greenpoint


hellokitty

expressionofyou

mordred

manwithicecream

Manhattan Avenue, Greenpoint

103amonth

Crosstown Local, Queens

skateboarder

5th Street, Long Island City

kidswithsinatra

44th Drive, Long Island City.

Miss Heather


Great Moments In Product Placement: Crosstown Local Edition

March 19, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Culture War, Greenpoint Magic 

norarobertsnys

There is a time and place for this sort of thing. 3:17 p.m. Tuesday afternoon on the Smith – 9th bound platform of the G train at Greenpoint Avenue is not one of them.

Miss Heather

P.S.: For a larger view of this schmaltzfest click on the above image— at your own risk.

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: M.T.A.

March 18, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Long Island City, Queens, Recession 

mta

From Court Square.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: MTA Sucks

March 16, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Long Island City, Queens 

mtasucksvbelanger

This priceless exchange (which hails from the 23rd – Ely Avenue subway station in Queens) comes courtesy of Victoria Belanger. Great catch!

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour:

February 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Culture War, Greenpoint Magic 

richwives

Clearly the recession has had some impact on reality television viewing. In Greenpoint, anyway.

Miss Heather

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