Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: Size Matters
A friend of mine recently made the brilliant observation that Twitter is the “bathroom room wall” of the Internet. Not only do I think this is true, but I would like to take his logic one step further: the Greenpoint Avenue stop of the G train is the Twitter of the New York City subway system. Follows is how I came to this conclusion.
The demographic of both Twitter and the Crosstown Local is more or less the same: people wishing they were somewhere else, e.g.; in the case of Twitter somewhere other than work and in the case of the Crosstown Local riding the G train. Eventually this ennui degenerates into anger and the exchanges start to get heated. This is when it starts to get interesting. Take this exchange I found on the Queens bound platform recently, for example.
As you can see rather lively dialogue is taking place on this poster for Royal Pains. Let’s go in for a closer look!
I guess size really does matter after all. Or does it?
To paraphrase Mark Twain:
It’s not the size of the sharpie in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the sharpie .
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Two Weekends
This missive comes courtesy of the Mister via an email entitled “Good Morning”. Clearly for some G train patron brandishing a felt tip pen it was anything but.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Rattus Garden Spottus
From the Smith – 9th bound platform at Nassau Avenue.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Saturday Night On The G
From the Smith – 9th bound Crosstown Local at Court Square.
Miss Heather
Crosstown Local Videos Du Jour: Audience Participation Time!
What do you get when you take a young man singing at the Smith – 9th platform of the G, add one VERY IRATE woman tired of listening to him and toss in a drunk Polish dude for good measure? Hilarity! That’s what!
Okay, so we have established this woman is not a big fan of this crooner. No worries, a man on the Court Square bound platform is! Be sure to listen very carefully for when she offers to buy this gent a beer if he’ll jump on the subway tracks: priceless.
The previous footage was shot May 20, 2009 at 10:20 p.m. I probably speak for many who witnessed this chain of events last night (and there were MANY. Waiting. For the G.) when I say this is the best entertainment I have ever received for $2.00. Hell, it’s a bargain at twice the price! Which, knowing the MTA, will come to pass soon enough.
Miss Heather
Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: Big Green Monster
Feeling somewhat better I went to work today. Albeit later than usual and with snot rag in tow. Therefore, I got out for my usual walk later than usual and in my harried dither forgot to load the battery into my camera. Whoops.
Thankfully I had bumped into Bitchcakes and she lent me hers so I could capture this select find.
Man(ties) overboard!
You won’t like me when I’m angry.
Miss Heather
This Is Why I Like Teenagers
(Or, The G Train Strikes Back)
This morning my parents made their return to the Land of Enchantment. Our week long vacation seeing the sights of this fair city (the fun stuff, not the offal shilled in travel brochures) was pretty uneventful. That is until we decided to go to Manducatis last night for dinner. Or more accurately when we decided to come home via (you guessed it) the G train. For a Tuesday evening the train was curiously crowded. Mostly with teenagers in a very lively mood. I chose to sit next to them. My parents— not being acclimatized to such shenanigans (as are most retirees)— kept their distance. In hindsight this was an excellent decision on their part, as you will learn.
After we got off at Greenpoint Avenue we dropped by the local wine store and headed home. It was as I was headed up the stairs of our apartment building that the Mister spied something nested in the hood of my jacket. Upon closer inspection he told me what it was. Follows is my reply:
You’re kidding, right?
No. He wasn’t.
After we established that the prophylactic in question was indeed unused I ceased to care. My mother (who can be seen recoiling in horror in the background of the above photograph which was taken by Mister Heather*) felt differently. Now that I have had time to think about it, it isn’t so much the fact that someone saw fit to use me as some kind of walking advertisement for safe sex that troubles me. I’ve had lit cigarettes flung at my person with amazing accuracy. And worse. Public humiliation no longer fazes me. Rather, it’s the fact that I walked 2-3 city blocks with this hilarious item in tow and no one seemed to notice. Or care.
In closing I’d like to give a heaping helping of New York Shitty gratitude to those mischievous youths on the Smith – 9th bound G train. You gave my parents the quintessential Crosstown Local experience. Thanks guys!
Miss Heather
*Who then proceeded to tell my parents:
She comes home with condoms stuck to her all the time.
Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: What A Piece Of Work Is The Crosstown Local
Nassau Avenue
O Wonder!
How many goodly creatures are there here!
How beauteous mankind is! O Brave new world
That has such people in it!
Greenpoint Avenue
What piece of work is a man the G train! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! In apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? man delights not me: no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so. — William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act II, Scene II
Miss Heather
Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Always
From the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue.
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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