New York Shitty Day Starter: MAMMA MIA!

mammamia

Taken on October 4, 2009  at 10:30 a.m. at the Greenpoint Avenue stop of the Crosstown Local.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Fulton Street

burns

This post goes out to the campaign worker who hit my buzzer at 7:00 p.m. this evening and asked me (by my legal name— which indicates she culled it from the voter registration rolls):

Hi, (my legal name) I’m a campaign worker for Michael Bloomberg. Do you plan on voting for him this November?

Me:

No, Thank you.

My buddy at Queens Crap thought I was showing traces of my Texas upbringing: humble hospitality. Hardly. I have made up my mind who I want for mayor…

burnsNYS

and it is Montgomery Burns!

I suspect I speak for many of my fellow Greenpointers when I write that I have given up on decent (not exceptional, above average or even average) representation (for our taxation). Many candidates (and the self-appointed pillars of our community who backed them— you know who you are) cloaked themselves in the sanctimonious cloth of reform in the months leading up to the Democratic primary and run-off. And these same people, the reformers, engaged in some of the sleaziest campaign practices, tricks, duplicity, chicanery and outright intimidation I have ever beheld. Probably because they were seeking sinecures— but that’s my humble opinion.

If I stated, for example— and this is totally hypothetical— that the McCarren Park Soccer League’s email list was used to solicit votes David Yassky or Bill DeBlasio I’d be totally out of line. If I stated (once again, for example— hypothetical) that youths 18 years and older in said soccer league were hired to canvass for Evan Thies before the Democratic primary I have no doubt it would net me a nastygram from a lawyer.

But I am not suggesting either of the previous came to pass. I’m just hypothesizing. I have a very active imagination. The pillars of my community have reminded me of this. Often.

James “Jimmy” John Walker, one of our fair city’s more corrupt (if charming, dapper and loquacious) Mayors summed my cynicism when he said:

A reformer is a guy who rides through the sewer in a glass bottom boat.

What does “reform” mean when we are forced to choose among candidates whose records REEK? Candidates who have clearly dipped their tootsies into the sewer of New York City real politik and will promise anything to anyone in order to get elected?

For this reason I am backing Burns. Burns is honest about his corruption. He promises nothing. He does not claim to be a reformer and as such I can anticipate being screwed six ways to Sunday under his regime. In this regard Bloomberg is much more circumspect. The true hallmark of a masochist is the anticipation of punishment. I am not a masochist. It’s a matter of control.

I prefer to take my medicine upfront— and make Mike my bitch.

Miss “Sorry Staten Island, you’re on your own*” Heather

P.S.: For more information about how Montgomery Burns Bloomberg will lead this city into 21st 19th Century click here. Caveat: be ready to laugh your ass off. Who knew plutocracy and political disenfranchisement could be so fun(ny)?

*This is satire.

New York Shitty Day Ender: After Dark

September 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Crosstown Local, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

eel

robin

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Amazin’

September 23, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crosstown Local, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn 

why

Outside the Queens-bound Crosstown Local platform at Metropolitan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Yes, You Can!

August 31, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11222, Crosstown Local, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic 

nassau

From the Queens-bound platform at Nassau Avenue.

Miss Heather

Subway Photos Du Jour: Fear, Loathing, Love & Beef

August 29, 2009 ·
Filed under: 11211, Crosstown Local, Culture War 

canarsielocal

livelovelaugh

ROBOTS

Lorimer Street stop of the L.

Best Beef

Metropolitan Avenue stop of the G.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Do You Remember?

July 26, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Long Island City, Queens 

remember

This piquant question hails from Court Square in Long Island City. Do you remember the last time the Crosstown Local ran to 71st Street? Methinks it was back in 2005— but I am not too sure.

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: Pubic Enemy #1

July 9, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

bigpricks

From the Smith – 9th Church Avenue Bound Platform at Nassau Avenue

publicenemies

From the Smith – 9th Church Avenue Bound Platform at Metropolitan Avenue

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Tired (Of Waiting)

July 5, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Long Island City, Queens 

tiredofwaiting

From Queens Plaza.

Miss Heather

Reader Contribution Du Jour: G Is For Genesis

July 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

ToChurchAve

I am certain by now many of you have noticed the new signage gracing the Smith – 9th bound entrances to our very own Crosstown Local. I was so gleeful at the prospect of our friends in south Brooklyn getting a taste— four years of it to be precise— of the G train experience I simply had to document this momentous event for posterity. What will they have to look forward to, you ask? I’d just as well prefer to let them find out. But the following, which comes courtesy of Holly, is a hint!

GENESIShollyw

She writes:

Saw this yesterday morning on Smith/9th bound G platform at Nassau and thought of you…

Text reads: G enesis to Revelations – same wait

In a world where things are changing so fast I can barely keep up I find it curiously reassuring that the G is still the train I know and love. Yes, the Crosstown Local is unreliable— but it is consistent!

Miss Heather

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