From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: And Now Fish Oil?
(Or, A Greenpoint Gets A Healthy Spill*)
This latest installment of mayhem from the Garden Spot comes from a gentleman named Todd. He writes:
Apparently there was a giant fish oil spill on Franklin and Greenpoint last night resulting in car accidents, people slipping and tripping, and other various keystone cops/laurel and hardy type LOLZ. Do you know anything about this? …A friend witnessed it but did not take pictures. She did however talk to a cop at the scene, asking ‘why don’t you just close off the intersection?’ The response was ‘lack of manpower’. I guess you need the National Guard to set up for wooden horses to close off an intersection.
This is news to me. Anyone out there have the 411 about this? If so, please share via comments or send me an email at missheather (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com.
Thanks!
Miss Heather
*Special props go to Brenda Becker for this piquant observation!
Anyone Up For A Block Party?
Although I suspect many of the people reading this tome are out of town or have sought an alternative venue to celebrate this nation’s birthday (because the fireworks are, once again, to be located on the Hudson River— thanks guys) some of you who care to keep your celebrating a bit more low key— and local— might be interested in this: tomorrow starting at 9:00 a.m. there will be a block party on Huron Street between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street. Check it out!
4th of July Block Party
July 4, 2010 9:00 a.m. – 8:00 p.m.
Huron Street between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
UPDATE, July 4, 2010 1:00 p.m.: Not much is going on right now but some folks are in the process of setting up a pretty phat barbecue/buffet across the street from the Corner Frenzy.
Greenpoint Audio/Visual Presentation Du Jour: The American Playground
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Asshole, Bum Shit, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Given that we are embarking upon a holiday weekend (celebrating our nation’s birthday, no less) I feel it is only fitting to showcase Greenpoint’s very own American Playground. Rutila wrote regarding the above image (which I posted June 20th):
There was a homeless man sleeping in the jungle gym this morning when jumping rope in one of the handball courts. He was coughing, and I wasn’t sure if he was sick or clearing his throat to let me know I was interrupting his sleep. Should I have apologized?
Oh, and one of the trees/bushes that flank the storage shed/bathroom was pulled — roots and all — from its planter and dragged to the middle of the basketball courts. I don’t see how this would be possible without a vehicle.
I have been keeping a careful watch over this park ever since.
It isn’t pretty.
But what I was most puzzled by was the womens bathroom’s “new arrangement”.
I have no idea why the Parks Department, in their infinite wisdom, would do something like this. And here’s why:
1. This bathroom is located at a playground. Children will invariably get dirty and need to wash their hands. Most of the children I have observed at this park are tended to by their mothers. Thus, they will need to use the womens bathroom. And if someone is using it they are shit out of luck.
2. This kind of open space (with added privacy) is an enabler for all manner and variety of criminal activity. Foremost in my mind is drugs, as heroin addicts seem to have taken a shine to this park.
And then of course, there is this.
A detergent bottle (Tide, methinks, this brings a whole new meaning to Tidy Bowl) being retrofitted for some hitherto unknown purpose.
Here’s a close-up of its contents. And on July 1st, dear readers, I finally got the wherewithal to flush said toilet and film it.
It appears to be collecting water from the faulty plumbing. Incoming or outgoing I do not know. What’s more, it’s not important. This is yet another (and exemplary) half-assed solution to the manifold problems our parks “comfort stations” face. On that note I have word via a tipster/leaked email that port-o-lets are one the way. Four to be precise:
- One for Bushwick Inlet Park
- One for Barge Park
- Two for McCarren Park
In regards to the lattermost, here’s what one board member of Open Space Alliance North Brooklyn— not the Parks Department— had to say:
They’re portable so, if you or other parks users have strong feelings about their placement, they can probably be moved. Personally, I think it’s a good idea for the condo-dwellers on Bayard to fundraise for the park.
This statement is in regards to a Bayard Street resident calling 311 and complaining about public urination; getting a letter from Adrian Benepe advising him/her to talk to our Parks Administrator, Stephanie Thayer, only to be asked by Ms. Thayer if he/she would be interested in fundraising for more garbage cans and bathrooms in McCarren Park (via Open Space Alliance, which is Ms. Thayer’s other employer). Fundraising for amenities one would presume (hope) would have already been paid for via our tax dollars. But I suppose I am being old fashioned.
To recap: a 311 complaint seems to have been employed as a recruitment tool for a not-for-profit org which, theoretically, has nothing to do whatsoever with a public urination complaint. But I suppose that’s what happens when you have a public/private partnership which is out of touch with the very people it purportedly serves. Here’s my advice for anyone who has issues with our public parks:
- Call 311. Repeatedly.
- Document and send your complaints to our local Community Board.
- Don’t bother with our local Parks people, copy the head honcho: Adrian (dot) Benepe (at) parks (dot) nyc (dot) gov
- It criminal activity is involved, go the the 94th Precinct Community Council meetings and make D. I. Fulton aware of it.
Miss Heather
P.S.: If our Port-O-Potty point person at OSA is listening (because it’s become all too apparent this organization holds the purse strings, not our Parks Department), you might want to toss one WNYC Transmitter Park/”Playground’s” direction.
It’s very popular.
Albeit not by not children.
When I saw this gent walk away from a secluded part of this “playground” a few days later I decided to investigate.
Yup.
From The New York Shitty Inbox: The Production Lounge Gets Served
This item comes courtesy of a chap named Matt who writes:
Thought you’d enjoy this. It was posted on the door of the Production Lounge the other day.
Spotted In Greenpoint: Bill Murray
The tattoo, that is.
This gem was captured by Greenpointless at the Garden Spot’s very own Shayz Lounge. Miss Heather to Bill Murray: Quit wasting your time in Williamsburg, come to Greenpoint where you will get the reverence and respect you truly deserve!
Miss Heather
At Large In Greenpoint: Spiff
Filed under: 11222, Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
I just received this the above photograph of Spiff the cats from her very upset owner, Stephanie. She writes:
Heather,
Our 12 year old cat just escaped from our car on Greenpoint and Leonard Street between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street (My boyfriend ran out of gas, chaos ensued, cat jumped out the car window.) I am hoping she is still in that area, but she might try to get back to our place on Franklin between Green and Huron. Would you mind posting her picture and a plea for people to contact us if they spot her? Her name is Spiff. She has grey stripes, a white chin and green eyes. She has a zitty thing on her chin right now from the food bowl. She is very sweet.
If anyone has seen Spiff please contact Stephanie via email at: stephanie (dot) lawkins (at) gmail (dot) com
Thanks!
Miss Heather
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