Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Monsterman’s Loose!
This item (which hails from Hall Street and DeKalb Avenue) comes from a man we’ll call Clinton. He writes:
I thought this was funny and would send it your way. Don’t know if this qualifies for your blog, It was found outside of the Pratt Campus in Fort Greene/Clinton Hill. The name monster man is classic as well as the picture!
If any of my friends/readers in Fort Greene/Clinton Hill have seen Monsterman or know of his whereabouts please contact his keepers at the above-listed telephone number. Thanks!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Photos Du Jour: Bedford Stuyvesant Selections
Since the weather was downright gorgeous (and it should be noted some crew was jack hammering up the street in front of my apartment building) I decided to expand my horizons a little and go to Bedford Stuyvesant. Follows are some highlights from my sojourn. Enjoy!
Cattitude!
Miss Heather
A New York Shitty Love Connection
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Bum Shit, Dog Shit, Dung of the Day, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Other Shit, Queens, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Some of you might have gathered from the preponderance of non-Greenpoint content of late that I have been lurking our fair city. This is because my inlaws are in town and they want to see the sights, sounds, and yes, SMELLS of the Big Apple during their brief stay.* Fortunately I have my good friend Rowan and Crappy to keep me in an “outer borough” state of mind.
It all started with a corn stalk (which can be seen at left). My inlaws happen to reside in Iowa. Corn is very common there. Corn is not, however, very common in Greenpoint (which is where this stalk was found). More specifically it was found on Bushwick Inlet between North 14 Street and North 15 Street: an ill-kept, trash ridden sidewalk which sits atop brownfield.
I found this fascinating. Enough so to write a post about it. A week later I walked by only to discover that someone had killed the corn— and the cobs were nowhere to be found.
Rowan (who provided the above photograph) wrote on September 28, 2009:
Saturday evening, around 6:30pm, I decided to check the corn plant. It’s broken in two. Photos to come, but I’m a bit sad that someone destroyed it. Also the Marlboro packet was still there.
To wit I replied:
I noticed that today. Even more frightening is the corn appears to have been taken. Presumably someone ate it. YIKES!
This morning I had the pleasure of moderating Rowan’s rebuttal:
Someone’s going to have very toxic corn poops.
Shortly thereafter I received an ominous email from Queens Crap. It read as follows:
Do you, in your vast annals of dog shit photos, happen to have one that’s laden with corn? If not, you will when I get home from work tonight.
I replied that I did not have such a find in my “vast annals”. Follows is Crappy’s reply:
You won’t be disappointed.
I wasn’t.
This delightful artifact was found at the intersection of DeKalb and Cypress Avenue in Ridgewood. It is proof positive that my buddy across the creek knows blue chip crap when he finds it.
Yummy.
Miss Heather
*And they most, assuredly have. They walked by the Newtown Creek Waste Treatment Plant on Thursday afternoon and partook of a particularly fragrant subway ride today.
A Choice Tidbit From The New York Times Archives
Speaking as someone who has lived in north Brooklyn for ten years I remember a time when Williamsburg was more or less defined as the first four stops on the L train— no “ifs” “ands” or “buts”. Over the ensuing years this has been expanded to include pretty much anything short of Ridgewood and given current trends they may very well be next. Only time will tell if my fair burgh will be rechristened “Williamsburg(h) Heights”. Lest the first three sentences of this post have not made it clear I have found a heaping help of black humor to be immensely helpful when living in the shadow such a capacious and rapacious giant. And what a shadow it is! Case in point:
I found this bad boy outside the Morgan Avenue stop of the L. Per the ad copy (which can be seen in larger format by clicking on the above image*) this Valhalla is located off the DeKalb Avenue stop of the L. Apparently eight stops out of Manhattan now qualifies as “East Williamsburg”. Albeit with a significantly smaller typeface.
Imagine if you will, dear readers, a time when real estate agents were not so fast and loose about “branding” a neighborhood “Williamsburg”. A time when Williamsburgers didn’t even want to be called Williamsburgers; they wanted to be simple Brooklynites. There was such a time. What’s more, the New York Times documented it on February 23, 1896. Enjoy!
Found In Brooklyn, who took the above photograph, writes:
And this Toll Brothers monolith on the other side. Ewwwww. Can you imagine being one of the numbers living in there? This would fit in better in a business district of a city such as Phoenix or Miami but whatever it’s here and they are not selling like hotcakes.
Welcome to the newer conditions of society.
Miss Heather
From The Gullibility Files: Student Habitats
As a general rule I eschew posting ridiculous apartment advertisements. My reasoning for this practice is very simple: an entire blog could be premised on the subject and, well, New York Shitty is not that blog. However, once in a blue moon I will find something so ludicrous even I have to give pause. Which brings me to Student Habitats on Metropolitan Avenue (as seen in the above photograph) and the following advertisement gracing their storefront:
When someone says “East Williamsburg” I usually think of the Graham Avenue stop of the L. If pushed I’ll even grudgingly concede the Grand Street, Montrose Avenue and Morgan Avenue stops as being located in “East Williamsburg”. But Stanhope Street and Wyckoff Avenue?!?
That’s kind of pushing the envelope if you know what I mean.
Miss Heather
Reader Question Of The Week: Thriftless In Williamsburg
John writes:
Do you know where the Hasidic guy moved his glorious warehouse full of shit since leaving Driggs near McCarren? I kinda miss digging through his crap. Since that space is now full of groceries (Khim’s Millennium Market— Ed. Note), it’s not nearly as fun to sift through.
Well, I asked Larry da Junkman (all these guys know each other— I swear there’s some kind of junk shop mafia in this city). The best he could tell me is he relocated his business in Bushwick— off either the Jefferson Street or Dekalb Avenue stop of the L.
Perhaps one of our friends to the south can pin down this location for us? If you know where this business is please share it with us via comments.
Thanks!
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
You must be logged in to post a comment.