Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
New York Shitty Slideshow Du Jour: Newtown Creek Boat Ride
Filed under: 11101, 11206, 11222, 11237, 11378, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Long Island City Queens, Maspeth, Maspeth Queens, Newtown Creek
Last weekend, thanks to City of Water Day, I decide to take a (FREE!) boat tour of the creek hosted by the inimitable Mitch Waxman. As has been the case in times past (this makes my third sojourn up to the creek), it did not disappoint. Not only did I bear witness to a fellow catching a little shut-eye at our very own Nature Walk, but I learned an interesting fact shortly after the above photo (which hails from the Long Island City side of Newtown Creek) was taken. Our fair creek is not just host to Typhus, but also Cholera and Gonorrhea. If this isn’t a trifecta of fun, I honestly do not know what is. I feel compelled to note that this fact was rolled out after a fellow tour goer was observed balancing his child on the rail of the boat so as to take photos with his smart phone. You can’t make this shit up.
In any case, follows are some highlights of my trip to, from and up the creek.* I have even included a photo of a CSO (Concentrated Sewage Overflow) for your late afternoon/early evening entertainment. Enjoy!
*A task which involved going to Governor’s Island. This was rendered more complicated by the fact Greenpoint still remains without ferry service.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day From New York Shitty!
Filed under: 11211, 11378, BULLSHIT, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Gentrification, Maspeth, Maspeth Queens, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
I know what you’re thinking:
What the FUCK is this and how does it pertain to St. Paddy’s Day?
Well, it has been yours truly’s observation that March 17th, not unlike Cinco De Mayo, is regrettably pressed into service so certain folks can go forth and act like drunken imbeciles. All they need is a location and an excuse (not unlike Santacon)— which brings me to where I found the above image: Queens Crap. Read on North Brooklynites, you’ll find this interesting.
Queens Crap reports that fire was in effect at yesterday’s “Flea Market” event at the Knockdown Center. Speaking as a north Brooklynite, I have seen my fair share of that shit. It is usually accompanied by drum circles.
The “blue bus”? Same thing. Reference my previous observation about drum circles.
Where it gets interesting for yours truly is here:
…It has also been brought to my attention that David Sklar is operating a niteclub/arts center at 15 Rewe Street in Brooklyn which is in a really sketchy area. It also was formerly home to a door factory owned by the Sklars, just like the Knockdown Center was…
I have a much different definition of what constitutes a “sketchy area” than my comrade in Queens. However, I can assure you 15 Rewe Street is owned by David Sklar. And hosting parties, however legally questionable they were, did come to pass at 15 Rewe Street. Let’s start by establishing who actually owns 15 Rewe Street:
15 Rewe Street LLC.* Okay, let’s check this out on the New York State Attorney General’s Corporation’s Database.
Hmm.
Perhaps we should check out the Department of Buildings BIS system?
Yes, this is quite interesting. Let’s go in for a better look!
Oh my, it would appear 15 Rewe Street (which is located in an Industrial Business Zone)— at the instigation of David Sklar— was planning a party.
A really BIG party.
For those of you who cannot read it (I for one could not), follows are the amenities this event/space had to offer:
Venue Details
70,000 square feet of indoor space
40,000 square feet out door
Located on a private street
MEGA production with L’Acoustics Sound, Lighting, Lasers, Special Effects, Video, and extra Video Wall, Large Concert style stage tons of extras
Live performance art
Multi Level VIP Risers
Chill out seating area for all with Sofa’s & Carpeting
Plenty of Bathrooms
Large Coat Check
Gourmet Food Trucks
Food on site
Multiple Bars
Conveniently located steps away from L train (Grand Street)
ATM’s on Site
All Major Credit Cards accepted
Liquor will be served
Bottle Service Available.
Smoking section outside on the water\
Dada Life Merchandise for purchase at the eventFOR VIPS
Private Bathroom trailers
Private VIP Smoking area
Separate Entrance for VIPs
Private VIP Bar
Separate VIP Sections with best views of the stage
What’s more, even Timeout New York was “on” to this whole “compound” thing.
Hmm. I wonder how this got past Community Board 1 Brooklyn or the State Liquor Authority? In any case and to wrap this up, the image gracing the beginning of this post is (by all appearances) from “Dada Life’s” New Year’s Party at 15 Rewe Street.
Which we have established is owned by David Sklar. Who had this to say about why the Knockdown Center should be granted a liquor license at Community Board 5:
Really?
*This is an alternate address for the Knockdown Center.
Yup.
Live From Community Board 5 Queens!
It would appear Community Board 5, Queens has recommended, unanimously no less, against the Knockdown Center getting a liquor license to serve 600 people. What’s even more fascinating is:
- no mention of the Business Integrity Commission’s report was made.
- This item did not find its way onto the agenda for the evening’s proceedings until the day of.
Hmm…
Quicklink: Oh Boy!
Holy MARCH operations, Batman! It would appear Maspeth has a problem on its hands— and that problem is the Knockdown Center which, as Queens Crap notes:
- A cabaret license for this type of venue is required. None is on file.
- The current certificate of occupancy is for a factory, therefore having any event open to the public is illegal.
- Does anyone really believe that in a building with the capacity to hold 5,000, only 600 people will be served alcohol? And at what type of events? There have been drug busts at “raves” in other area factories that have been converted into clubs. It seems that “up to 600” has been chosen to avoid having to obtain a cabaret liquor permit from the State Liquor Authority (which is different from the city’s required cabaret license).
- How would 5,000 people even get to Maspeth? Public transportation is lacking. Where will the parking be when the yard is in use (which is often)? And should people be driving around after they have been drinking at a club all night?
- This venue would no doubt become a trouble spot for the NYPD. The 104th precinct is already stretched way too thin.
- There are row houses on the same block as the venue and a residential community sits right across the street. When the club-goers start leaving during the wee hours of the morning, they will cause problems for the residents of the area. Complaints have already been received about noise and crowds at this location.
Did I mention they are also presently selling liquor already? They are— via Roberta’s no less. Please read this entire tome for yourselves, gentle readers.
It is quite something.
In closing I feel compelled to point out what the Knockdown Center proposes is more than a little similar to Studio B— and we all know how well the ensuing shenanigans (as seen at left and right) went over with the neighbors…
Good times!
UPDATE, 7:48 p.m.: It would appear the matter of the Knockdown Center has been noticed by the New York Daily News. You can read their coverage by clicking here. Choice excerpt/teaser:
…City Councilwoman Elizabeth Crowley (D-Middle Village), whose district includes other portions of Maspeth, has been the business’s lone champion, saying it will bring much-needed jobs to the community.
“It seems like a good way to revitalize the factory,” said Crowley, who added one of the investors — Gina Argento — also owns Broadway Stages, which employs more than 1,500 people at its Brooklyn site.
“Those are good union jobs,” Crowley said about Broadway Stages. “I have known the owners for a long time. They also do good philanthropic work.”
So why not make this another film facility instead? This would certainly be better than the thirty jobs the Knockdown Center claims it will create if given a liquor license. But there I go using “logic” again…
From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Dispatch From Maspeth
As I noted recently, McGuinness Boulevard is no longer the record holder for stolen access covers. This dubious distinction is now held by Maspeth’s Grand Avenue. I spied a whopping thirteen missing covers in a mere half mile stretch. That’s the bad news. Now onto the good news: if the following email forwarded to yours truly via an anonymous tipster is any indication, our friends across the creek are taking this matter quite seriously.
If you see someone plundering your man hole access cover, fellow north Brooklynites, say something! Call 911.
From The New York Shitty Inbox, Part II: Replaced!
Filed under: 11222, 11378, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Maspeth, Maspeth Queens
Jay writes:
New access cover on Monitor street. Third replacement this year. There’s still a month left in 2011 for this one to get swiped, too.
Closing on a related note, yours truly recently went on a sojourn in Maspeth. Follows is a revue of my findings from Grand Avenue between 57th Street and 47th Street. Enjoy!
For those of you who are keeping count this tops the number of plundered man holes gracing our very own McGuinness Boulevard (the previous record holder at 12).
Mazel Tov, Maspeth!
P.S.: If it is any consolation to us north Brooklynites, the plaque gracing the King’s Country end of the Grand Avenue/Street Bridge has been “liberated”.
Special thanks goes out to Brooklyn Imbecile, my traveling companion for the day, for allowing me to post the above two photos. Thanks!
The Word On The Street: Good Advice
Filed under: 11378, Laurel Hill, Laurel Hill Queens, Maspeth, Maspeth Queens, The Word On The Street
From Laurel Hill Boulevard.
New York Shitty Day Ender: Maspeth
Filed under: 11378, Laurel Hill, Laurel Hill Queens, Maspeth, Maspeth Queens, Newtown Creek
Taken November 25, 2011.
Found On Meeker Avenue: Missing
Filed under: 11222, 11378, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Maspeth, Maspeth Queens
Taken June 28, 2011.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: Live From Newtown Creek
Filed under: 11101, 11206, 11222, 11378, Blissville, Blissville Queens, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Long Island City, Long Island City Queens, Maspeth, Maspeth Queens, Newtown Creek
While prognosticated, the rapture did not happen today. Or if it did I was left behind and am ready, willing and able to process copious amounts of photographs and video footage from my Newtown Creek experience. Before we proceed here are some interesting facts/observations:
- Courtesy of a nearby radio station the Kosciuszko Bridge is “live”. In other words when men perform maintenance on it they must be “grounded”.
- The sour mash from breweries which formerly dotted the creek were fed to cows and their milk (which was reputed to taste rather awful) was then sold to orphanages at deep discounts. For this reason the product was called “orphan’s milk”.
- The “product” from our local waste treatment plant is dried into cakes (their words, not mine) and sold on the open market as fertilizer.
- After a week of heavy rainfall Newtown Creek is awash in Coney Island whitefish.
A Bit About Hunters Point (South) Development
Two Words: SHIT TITS!
Our tour guide, Mitch Waxman, explains the provenance of “DUGABO”
The First, But Hardly Last, Condom Spotting of the Day
The Penny Bridge Is Discussed
KAYAKERS!
A Representative from Riverkeeper Speaks, Part I: Waste Management
TEASER/CAVEAT: If you watch carefully you will see the putrefied bloated corpse of a cat drifting in the water.
A Representative from Riverkeeper Speaks, Part II: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About The Shit Tits
In closing I will leave you with this very informative brochure from my sojourn. You can view it by clicking here.
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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