Best Tree Pit In Brooklyn!

June 4, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

oldsoulSo let’s recap. We have recently learned that Manhattan Avenue is now graced with a terrifyingly nice art gallery and in the previous post we checked out a wonderful garden on the Southside (where the sign to the left can be found). What do these previous two items have in common, you ask? Not very much I suppose— but they are both very germane to this post.

Inasmuch as I harbor a fascination for the abject the fact of the matter is I also take great pleasure in things that are visually pleasing. The furniture I saw at Gallery 1889 was aesthetically stunning but not the kind of thing I would want in my home. It was a little too sterile and user “unfriendly” for my taste. Simply put, I liked the form but there was a sore lack of attention to function.

Now that I have established my philosophy about items made for human use I would like to segue to the subject of trees. Or more specifically how people in Greenpoint tend to treat them. This is can be summarized in two words:

garbagebags

1: Like

trash-and-dogshit

2: SHIT

But Greenpoint’s trees (and tree pits) are not only used as ad hoc trash receptacles and public lavatories. Anyone who has the misfortune of living on Greenpoint Avenue between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street will tell you they are often employed as bike racks with appalling results. Yours truly has seen many a bike lock and/or chain digging into the trunk of some hapless tree all because some asshole is too damned lazy to keep his or her bicycle in his/her apartment (where, I will add, it belongs).

If one cannot bother to be friendly to our leafy companions he or she should simply leave them alone. I fail to understand why some harbor such antagonism towards our photosynthesizing friends. Especially when you can do something incredibly nifty that helps them and gives you a place relax and/or watch the world go by.

1071ma

Which is exactly what the folks at 1071 Manhattan Avenue have done.

seating

Someone put a lot of thought and effort into creating this premium example of street seating. I will highlight a few of my favorite features.

mesh

First up: wire mesh has been employed to discourage canines (and their human counterparts) from giving this tree a golden shower. Or using it as a waste basket.

tableandbag

Speaking of trash, note how a bag has been thoughtfully placed on the back of the bench to provide a receptacle your garbage. As for the table/newspaper rack that’s genius. Plain and simple.

garden

The garden (replete with tulips) is the icing on the cake!

In closing whoever designed and executed this, the best tree pit in Brooklyn, deserves some real and lasting recognition be it from our municipal government or the design community as a whole. It has an elegant simplicity and feel for human use one does not see much nowadays. In other words it is a perfect marriage of form and function. This is the Falling Water of tree pits.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Special thanks go out to Laura Hofmann for reminding me to write about this. Thanks!

New & Noteworthy: Gallery 1889

June 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Today as I was running errands I stumbled upon a most pleasant and unexpected surprise…

gallery-1889nys

…an art gallery has opened on Manhattan Avenue! Obviously I simply had to go inside and see what this Gallery 1889 was all about. Much to my surprise the work they had on display was actually good. Even more surprising the woman working there nice enough to tell me a little about the space (like when it officially opened which was May 15th, if you’re wondering) and gladly let me poke around and take a few photographs. Follows is a little taste of what I found. Enjoy!

These images hardly do this work (especially the really neat whirligig contraption in the window) justice. Go to Gallery 1889 and see this show, RE/BUILD, for yourself. It’s quite something.

Gallery 1889
1066 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222

Miss Heather

Crosstown Local Photos Du Jour: Size Matters

June 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

A friend of mine recently made the brilliant observation that Twitter is the “bathroom room wall” of the Internet. Not only do I think this is true, but I would like to take his logic one step further: the Greenpoint Avenue stop of the G train is the Twitter of the New York City subway system. Follows is how I came to this conclusion.

The demographic of both Twitter and the Crosstown Local is more or less the same: people wishing they were somewhere else, e.g.; in the case of Twitter somewhere other than work and in the case of the Crosstown Local riding the G train. Eventually this ennui degenerates into anger and the exchanges start to get heated. This is when it starts to get interesting. Take this exchange I found on the Queens bound platform recently, for example.

royalpains

As you can see rather lively dialogue is taking place on this poster for Royal Pains. Let’s go in for a closer look!

prettydoctor

small

I guess size really does matter after all. Or does it?

moron

To paraphrase Mark Twain:

It’s not the size of the sharpie in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the sharpie .

Miss Heather

What’s Up At 216 Franklin Street?

June 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

216franklin

Although the “for rent” sign hasn’t come down I recently spied a flurry of activity at East Coast Alien’s former space at 216 Franklin Street. Curious to see what’s up I took a sneak peek.

216franklin-interior

By all appearances it looks like they are converting this space into an eating and drinking establishment (note the bar behind the garbage can in the above photograph) but I have found nothing whatsoever in the way of liquor license or Department of Buildings applications to bear this out.

Anyone out there have the scoop as to what is going on at 216 Franklin? If so please share via the comments. Thanks!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Another Fine Mess

June 3, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

disdainnys

From Calyer Street.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: A Very Special Street Couch

June 2, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Street Art 

rowan5couch2

If you could reproduce her past, would you?

rowan5couch1

Miss Heather:

If you could touch this couch, would you?

Given the fact it hails from Astral I’d say the answer is HELL NO! But the Fictionalist did, Rowan 5 captured it on her camera and thus we have preserved for all posterity of the most interesting* street couches I have ever beheld. Great catch!

Miss Heather

*And fucked up. Who or what is this person keeping as a pet? Wolverines?!?

New York Shitty Day Ender: Street Eats

June 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

streeteatsnys

This bit of al fresco dining (which consists of four slices of white bread and a bottle of mineral water) hails from Eagle Street.

Miss Heather

From The New York Shitty Inbox: Two Weekends

June 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

serviceannouncement

This missive comes courtesy of the Mister via an email entitled “Good Morning”. Clearly for some G train patron brandishing a felt tip pen it was anything but.

Miss Heather

Audience Participation Time: The Ugliest Building In Brooklyn?

June 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Queens, Williamsburg 

numberoneuglyautumnsol Ever since I posted the good news about the L Haus winning the #1 Ugliest Building in Queens my inbox (and incoming links) have been interesting to say the least.

Laura writes:

…regarding the ugliest building in Queens. Love it.  Let’s do Greenpoint! Here’s my nominee, the one with the bulls eye. On memorial day my grandson was trying to shoot it with spit balls…

The building of which she speaks— 20 Bayard Street— is, unfortunately, located in Williamsburg. But Brooklyn11211 does a pretty good job of eviscerating it for the pile of shit it is. Halden volleyed the first proverbial spitball at this glass house. So to speak.

Now my buddy over in Queens has gotten into the swing of things. One commenter, Timothy, wrote:

There are some nasty McMansions near me that might qualify as Queens Fugliest. I think we should have a real contest!

I agree. We need a real contest. A Brooklyn versus Queens smack-down of fug infamy— or outer-borough barfchitecture. To this end I have created this flickr group and will get the ball rolling  with my nominee: The Luminous.

the-luminousnys

This colossal pile of crap can be found on Richardson Street, Brooklyn 11222. It is the brain child of Karl Fischer Robert Scarano— who is all too eager to exploit “modification permits” when the mood (and/or money) suits him. The above (and strangely incongruous) brick facade was once a building. As you can see it has been given a new lease on life: the frontispiece and justification for this bigass pile of King’s crap! I for one am very fond of the beam left intact to support the adjacent buildings.

awningnys

But this half-assed awning (which doesn’t even cover the entire doorway) comes in a close second.

luminous-and-neighbornys

Lovely. As I was taking the above photograph an old-timer painting his garage across the street asked:

Don’t you want to take my picture?

I replied:

Sure. I’d much rather take a photograph of you than that THING across the street.

So I did.

man-painting-on-richardson-streetnys

I might end up in the Greenpoint Gazette!

he said. I told him it was a distinct possibility— and that he might become a celebrity. He laughed heartily.

In any case this my inaugural piece of King’s crap to get this bi-borough rumble going.

Hear me, Crappy? Let’s get it on!

Miss Heather

New York Shitty Day Starter: Rattus Garden Spottus

June 1, 2009 ·
Filed under: Crosstown Local, Greenpoint Magic 

From the Smith – 9th bound platform at Nassau Avenue.

Miss Heather

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