Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
Reader Question Of The Week
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
The following email was intended to be private correspondence but I feel compelled to post it here as a number of readers might find it of interest.
Anonymous writes:
Hi Miss Heather!
1) I love your blog. I still don’t know how the hell you have the time to update it so often- but I likes.
2) Did you hear that Papacitos was robbed yesterday? Somebody stole a 200lb safe from the back room.
3) I see that there are community board meetings. How do I find out about when they take place? I’m getting a little piffed about what’s been happening in the neighborhood lately.
Thanks for your help! Keep up the great work!
First and foremost thanks for the kind words, Anonymous. They are greatly appreciated. To answer your second question: yes, I am aware that Papasitos was burglarized. From what I have heard (so take this as hearsay) no broken locks were found and the police have hypothesized the bandits made their getaway by climbing up a stack of chairs and toting that 200 pound safe across several rooftops.
As for your third question my advice is as follows:
Although you can voice your concerns to our local Community Board (and I am NOT discouraging you from doing just this) the fact of the matter is this is not the most appropriate forum. This is a police matter and as such your time would be better spent attending the next 94th Precinct Community Council meeting. For those of you who are not in the know these meetings run as follows:
- A general review of the minutes from the previous meeting and miscellaneous announcements
- D. I. Fulton gives a rundown of the crime statistics for the last 28 day period
- A Q & A session with D. I. Fulton
Point #3 constitutes the bulk of these meetings and questions are not limited to incidents which have come to pass (such as the Papasitos robbery). You can also (to use real examples) air concerns about any suspicious activity you have witnessed, tip him off to illegal truck traffic (this is a biggie), complain about honking school buses, etc. You get the idea.
It is my understanding that the next 94th Precinct Community Council meeting will be in September. The same goes for Community Board One.* (Hey, they need a summer vacation just like the rest of us!) You can find the meeting schedules for each by clicking here and here.
I hope this is helpful.
Miss Heather
*See the Ms Nomer’s comment regarding this. There WILL be a meeting in July possibly August as well.
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Beautiful Polish Girls
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Last week the Mister and I took Larry da Junkman our to dinner. So elated was he, a father of two small children, to at long last have a night out (albeit with a 10:00 p.m. curfew) he exclaimed:
Let’s go to a strip club!
I replied:
The only one I can think of is Pumps by the Metropolitan Avenue Bridge. There’s no way in hell I am going there. One time (name excised) did. He watched a bored dancer strip on stage while a solitary onlooker made paper footballs and flicked them at her.
Firmly ensconced in the armpit of English Kills— a place that is cringe-worthy enough in daylight— can you honestly blame me for putting the kibosh on an evening’s worth of “adult” entertainment? What’s more, with reviews like this:
First of all, it’s called Pumps. Secondly, it’s an old diner car turned into a strip club. You can get a lap dance in the “private viewing area”, but it’s just behind an old shower curtain about 2 feet from the bar. Oh, and the girls dance on a couple of poles thrown in behind the old counter where once someone ate a fried egg or something. And the cash machine has a $5 surcharge. It’s insane.
I wouldn’t set foot in this establishment without a hazmat suit. Alas, a more palatable alternative manifested in my inbox shortly thereafter.
Jay Lombard (who took the above photographs) writes:
If you saw this sign wouldn’t you assume that the establishment was a place where you got to see ALL of the girls? Well it’s actually the Onyx on Morgan and Nassau.
Two days late and a solitary dollar (excitedly shoved into some anonymous woman’s g-string) short is the sad story of my life. Oh well, maybe next time.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Turbo
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Franklin Street.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Recession Watch: The Viridian
This weekend, much to our amazement, the Mister and I saw signs of actual activity at the Viridian. Well, perhaps “activity” is a bit of an overstatement: we saw a 5’4″ gentleman wearing an undershirt and a pair of jeans hanging out in the lobby.
Maybe that’s the concierge?
The Mister quipped. I have to confess on occasion even he can roll out a good one liner. But I digress.
As I was walking by this afternoon I spied a man on the premises doing something. Exactly what I do not know: he did not appear to have any tools. Yes sir, things must be getting pretty lean down at 110 Green Street nowadays. Hell, they cannot even afford “No Parking” signs. So they improvise!
(Priceless)
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Wish Fulfillment
On June 20, 2009 I wrote in this post:
…Anyone out there know how I can take the audio when this man screams “Fuck this shit!” and make it the ring tone for my cell? I ask because the more I think about it, the more I really want to make this happen.
I asked for it. The next day I checked my email, clicked my mouse twice and got it! E. C. Groom writes:
…Please feel free to pass along to whomever or however you want – heck, it’s yours! Glad I could assist. Feel free to request any future tidbits you’d like to get sound files for…it’s relatively ez… I’ve already set “Mr. FTS” as my basic ring tone…
Those of you who want to take a little bit of Greenpoint wherever you and your cell phone happen to find yourselves can do so by clicking here.
Ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, in-laws, outlaws, drunk dialing friends, bill collectors— the possibilities with this ring tone (and mischief in general) are endless.
There’s no place like home!
Miss Heather
Image Credit: Glinda Good Witch of The North (as played by the delightful Billie Burke) from The Wizard of Oz comes courtesy of Sofachip.com.
New York Shitty Day Ender: A Very Greenpoint Father’s Day
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I will end today’s offerings with the above photograph of a father, his daughter and niece enjoying the view of Manhattan from the end of Java Street. As with most things in life, it was not so much the destination as the manner in which they got there that was interesting. You see, today this proud father taught his daughter (who can be seen at left) how to ride a bike. On West Street.
Wearing a “My Dad Rocks” t-shirt, a grimace fueled by determination and training wheels she gradually got the hang of it. Albeit in fits and starts. That’s when dad decided to up the ante; he took her to Java Street.
Many of you might or might not recall that the western end of Java Street is paved with cobble stones. This can be very challenging terrain to tread upon, much less operate a bicycle on. Especially for a novice. But they raise them tough in Greenpoint. And so with a shout of encouragement from dear old dad:
If you can ride across this you can ride across anything!
and one minor “spill” notwithstanding— she did!
Miss Heather
News From The Greenpoint Grapevine
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Some of you might have noticed that the lot at the western terminus of Greenpoint Avenue (the designated site of WNYC Transmitter Park) has received a heaping helping of mulch. I was initially mystified but have since heard some neighborhood buzz that might shed some light on this recent turn of events: this space will be temporarily opened as a dog run.
Although I am pleased at the prospect that north Greenpoint’s mutts might finally— albeit temporarily— have a place to stretch their legs (and sniff each other’s butts) and I might have the opportunity to see the WNYC Transmitter building up close and personal (it’s a lovely Art Deco building) I must confess that I cannot stop asking myself:
Where’s my park?
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Street Seating Du Jour: Rode Hard & Put Away Wet
This chaise lounge (which is located on Green Street) has obviously seen better days— but if it could talk I bet it would have many an interesting tale to tell!
Miss Heather
More Thoughts Of The Day: Garden Spot Style!
Green Street
Don’t let anyone put you down without your consent. — Eleanor Roosevelt
West Street
Java Street
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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