Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Back To Java, No More Wood
Those of you who have been wondering what is set to grace this store front will be happy to know today I got the scoop! It is going to be a coffee shop. The wisdom of open such an establishment a mere two doors away from Cafecito Bogota remains to be seen— but I wish them luck!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: DIY
The junk shop gets a number of interesting items— and although I try to refrain from posting a great many of them I couldn’t resist sharing this homemade Spuds MacKenzie doll.
If my memory serves me correctly this canine had a taste for Stroh’s. But hey, this is Greenpoint: Garden Spotters prefer tall boys.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Fun At The Junk Shop
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
The following was originally intended to be a “day-ender” on Thursday but due to circumstances beyond my control it has been relegated to “day starter” status Friday. Not that it diminishes the content in any way: it doesn’t.
It all started with this little plastic bag as displayed by my co-worker Steve.
It was an “Emergency Kit”. When this item was brought to the attention of the “Greenpoint Round Table” hilarity ensued.
As did a rather incisive view into the workings of the male mind.
CAVEAT:
- There is language in this clip you do NOT want your Human Resources Personnel/humorless cubicle monkeys to hear.
- All the featured players, e.g.; George Diaz, Kerry Bomb and I are comedians to one degree or another. Take it in jest. No offense is intended nor should be taken. We make fun of everyone, each other and ourselves, as you will see.
On with the show!
I worked ten years in corporate America before deciding it was not for me. There was something about that environment that never sat well with me. Perhaps it was the structure, hierarchy and artificial sense of geniality? Or was it having more stringent expectations placed upon me, a woman, regarding my personal conduct and appearance versus that of my male colleagues? Probably all of the above.
The previous having been written I am grateful to have been involved in the previous and admittedly vulgar dialog. I cherish above all things honesty. George Diaz was honest— if not politically correct— about his feelings regarding homosexuals and the transgendered. He was also being a comedian. It’s been my personal experience that people such as George are not the ones who propagate hate. It’s the ones who refuse to talk.
OR LISTEN.
Miss Heather
READ THIS FIRST
(Or some strangeness from the junk shop).
Yesterday The Thing had a customer with a most interesting request. He was seeking a thoroughly craptastic gift for five dollars or less. It was for his brother in law. I had honestly never given the matter any thought, but the good ol’ junk shop is an excellent place to purchase gifts for that not-so-special-someone: amongst all the treasure to be found are some items if, not outrightly repulsive, are downright odd. Yesterday proved to be no exception. I found an ancient, rusted out vaporizer, we agreed on the asking price of one whole dollar and our intrepid brother in law was on his merry way.
On that note I would like to share a couple choice discoveries I made at The Thing yesterday while rustling amongst the boxes (UPON BOXES) that were delivered recently. Enjoy!
1. One Bag of Floppy Disks With A Most Mysterious Note
I happened upon the note first.
This was a good thing as it enabled me to follow the author’s instructions to the letter. Let’s see what were are to read first, shall we? It looks pretty important.
Whoa dude! It’s one thing to toy with man’s life but his son’s puberty as well?!? As it would happen the Mister possesses a floppy disk reader. Guess what we will be doing this Christmas holiday? I can hardly wait.
Next up, I remember my parents telling that my Kindergarten class held a mock election in the aftermath of the Watergate scandal. Amusingly enough, my none-too-politically-aware classmates voted unanimously for Tricky Dick. I suppose that’s to be expected from a bunch of five year olds, but what about a grown adult who sees fit to erect a shrine to the man whose middle name is Milhous? Yup, you just read me correctly.
2. The Richard Milhous Nixon Shrine To Freedom
Methinks this will have to be made into a postcard. Or something. Ideas anyone?
Miss Heather
Last Minute Gift-Giving Ideas From The Garden Spot
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
What do you give the person who has everything? Well, a blood test immediately comes to mind to yours truly but here are a few other suggestions.
Just for Fun has lotto tickets, Polish and American flags, fake butts, elephants, American currency toilet paper and a “Sassy Girl” who drops her top and sings a saucy tune. What’s more they’re open on Sundays from noon to 5:00 p.m. and as far as I know is the only place in our fair burgh that sells butt plugs. Stick that in your chimney and smoke it!
Just For Fun
982 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
When I encountered this delightful item at the Thing I couldn’t help but feature it. First I played a round of “Tower to Tokyo” with it. Then I proceeded to use it like c.b.:
Busted Rubber this is Bearded Clam talking. There’s a whole bunch of Tampax ahead. Do you read me? That’s a big 10-4!
If sculptures of hairless hoo-hoos are not your taste the Thing also has this one.
I’m not too sure what the point of this object of art is but if you want to shake up your office Christmas party (if your office has one and you have a job) this is undoubtedly to item bring. Sure, it’ll set you back $70.00 but just imagine the look on the H.R. person’s face! Human Resource professionals are (in my experience) the most worthless waste of human flesh this side of the post-Perestroika world. If they’re going to fire you, the least you can do is make the amount of paperwork they have to file copious and interesting. Professional bureaucrats hate that sort of thing.
And this ought to do it.
Vagina Sculptures ($50.00-$70.00 each)
The Thing
1001 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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