Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Hot Ass on Eckford Street
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
After noticing that 209 1/2 Eckford has been “modified” without the auspices of a permit (within 250 feet of a parked Department of Buildings vehicle, no less), I decided to swing by today and see if what I beheld last weekend was the product of immaculate construction*. It wasn’t.
When I took the above photo at 2:20 p.m. today it was raining men. HALLELUJAH!
Permit or not, I bet you could bounce a quarter off that ass. A-MEN!
Hands off Patricia, he’s mine. Hop into one of those hybrid DOBmobiles, drive up here and get your own. It would be nice if you would see fit to issue a few stop work orders while you’re at it, but this is only a suggestion.
Miss Heather
*Props to the proprietor of the Gowanus Lounge for coining this term. It has become my new toy.
Is a New Fabric Store Coming to Greenpoint?
Filed under: Area 51
If this sign is any indication, the answer is yes!
The above photo only shows part of the enormous space “Tip Top Fabrics” will occupy. It certainly looks like they are in the final stretch preparation-wise and will soon be open for business. Given the number of Greenpointers (like myself) whose creative endeavors require textiles, a well-appointed local fabric retailer would be a godsend. B. E. Yarn is an okay place to buy notions, but let’s face facts: their selection of fabric is minuscule and HIDEOUS.
Miss Heather
Miss Heather’s Monitor Museum
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Yesterday I simply could not get that melange of monitors on McGuinness Boulevard off my mind. Not only did I make a trip to see how they’re progressing disintegrating, but I also checked out a location notorious for monitor activity (television and computer alike): 210 Newel Street. I was not disappointed.
I have entitled the above photo “Monitor with Oatmeal”.
After mentioning the above find to my husband (who, being the I. T. professional he is, was certain to note how toxic the innards of monitors are) I had a revelation: smashing up monitors is to Greenpoint what baseball is to America. It is The Garden Spot’s Game.
To this end I am starting an online museum showcasing Greenpoint’s manifold mashed-up monitors. If you see a monitor on your block worthy of induction (the more fucked up, the better), please take a photo of it and/or note the address and email it to me at:
missheather (at) newyorkshitty (dot) com
Thanks!
Miss Heather
Founder and Curator
Miss Heather’s Monitor Museum
Greenpoint, Brooklyn 11222
Poop in the Water
Yesterday evening I discovered a costume contest we Greenpointers are (over) qualified to win. It is the S.W.I.M. Coalition Halloween Party “Crappiest Costume Contest”. Here is an excerpt from the press announcement I received:
What’s scarier than poop in the water? Enter our Crappiest Costume Contest and find out! Come dressed as the ickiest thing you can imagine finding afloat on the East River or living in an NYC sewer.
The criteria clearly states “the ickiest thing you can imagine finding afloat” or “living” in the above locations. Less imaginative folk will probably dress up as a condom, pile of rubbish, nuclear waste, etc. I for one recommend taking a more esoteric approach. The following are a few examples which illustrate what I am getting at:
- Dick Cheney: This man is scary. The prospect of this chap inhabiting New York City’s sewer system (or the East River) is even more frightening— and appropriate. He is possibly the humanoid on earth who could survive down there. Hell, he’d probably feel right at home.
- Phil Spector: For pretty much same reasons as I listed for #1.
- Gary Glitter: Not only is he creepy looking like Phil Spector, he’s also a pedophile. I think he trolls our sewer system looking for underage C.H.U.D.s to “photograph”.
- Leona Helmsley: The Queen of Mean is dead… or is she? I think the noxious soup in our sewer system rejuvenated her. Now she walks the streets a zombie searching for her shit dog, assaulting hotel maids and stealing their tips.
As you can see, I possess a very vivid imagination. Most Greenpointers do, for that matter. The above suggestions are but a fraction of the glory we can achieve. For this reason I implore you to use the vast resources of your imagination, hop on the G train and show these people that we Garden Spotters know our shit.*
WHAT: S.W.I.M. Coalition Halloween Party
WHEN: Sunday, October 28, from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
WHERE: Habana Outpost 757 Fulton Street (at South Portland St.)
Happy haunting!
Miss Heather
*Or you can leave your suggestion(s) for a costume in the comments section for all to enjoy. I’d love to see what you guys (and gals) dream up.
Give Us A Movie House
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I took the above picture just over a year ago. Not only was I amused by what this person wrote, I agreed: Greenpoint does not need any more banks and yes, a movie theater would be an excellent addition to the neighborhood. What did we end up getting when all was said and done? Another god damned bank.
My sole consolation is the Bank of America (the site where the above photo was taken) and Citibank seem to be pretty popular places for the local homeless population to conduct their business— and by “business” I mean going to the bathroom and having sex. I would love to see the surveillance camera footage from these establishments. I bet it is hilarious, but I digress.
The perverse irony is Greenpoint once had six movies theaters. Yes, six. Here they are were in order from south to north.
- Nassau Theatre (now The Princess Manor)
88 Nassau Avenue - Winthrop Theater (demolished)
135 Driggs Avenue - Meserole Theatre (
now Eckerd’s, I thinkRite Aid)
723 Manhattan Avenue - RKO Greenpoint (demolished)
825 Manhattan Avenue - American Theater (then Chopin Theater, now Starbucks)
910 Manhattan Avenue - Midway Theater (demolished)
1059 Manhattan Avenue
The following story from the December 10, 1929 edition of the New York Times is about one of these establishments: the long gone RKO Greenpoint. Enjoy!
The above tale gives us a(nother) splendid reason for wanting a movie theater: they prevent crime. I see a letter campaign to the mayor coming around the corner folks!
Miss Heather
Scapee The Black Cat Has ‘Scaped!
It has come to my attention that “Scapee” the cat has, in keeping with her name, escaped.
I found the above flyer at Rodney Street and South First this weekend. Anyone who has seen Scapee should contact her custodians at the above telephone number. She is sorely missed.
Miss Heather
Upcoming Events this Halloween-ish Week
Filed under: Area 51
In keeping with the Halloween season there are a slew of interesting events coming up this week. Follows are a few of them.
Spoonbill & Sugartown Booksellers will be hosting a reading of New York Calling Wednesday, October 24, at 7:00 p.m. Luc Sante (the author of the fantastic book Lowlife) is schedule to appear. I am making it a point to check this out, you should too.
Spoonbill & Sugartown
218 Bedford Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211
(718) 387-7322
Next up, political cartoonist David Rees (author/illustrator of Get Your War On) will be giving a presentation of his cartoons (including brand new, yet-to-be-published material!) at Word Books Friday, October 26, at 7:30 p.m. For more details check out Word’s web site or shoot them an email at info (at) wordbrooklyn (dot) com.
Word Books
126 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 383-0096
Mexican wedding shirt enthusiasts (and the booze hounds who love them) will probably be more interested in attending Huizilli’s Grand Opening Preview/Cocktail Party the same evening (Friday, October 26). Festivities are set to start at 6:00 p.m. and conclude at 10:00 p.m. For more information, give them a call at (718) 701-3195 or (718) 687-2278. They have some seriously cool and crazy stuff. Check it out!
Huitzilli
624 Metropolitan Avenue (Lorimer stop of the L)
Brooklyn, New York 11211
www.huitzilli.com
Saturday, October 27, The City Reliquary will be hosting its “Haunted Halloween Backyard Bash” from 6:00 – 10:00 p.m. Per their press release:
There will be a pumpkin carving contest!
There will be fun games with sugary prizes!
There will be homemade Halloween treats!
There will be IMPENDING DOOM in the Haunted Forest!
I think I’ll skip the “impending doom” part in favor of savoring the flavor of the aforementioned “homemade Halloween treats”. Those who are interested in entering the pumpkin carving contest need to their bring your own pumpkins and it should be noted the donning of costumes is encouraged.
The City Reliquary
370 Metropolitan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211
www.cityreliquary.org
Dapper dogs (and the owners who dress them) will be interested to know District Dog will be throwing a Halloween Party at the McGolrick Park dog run Sunday, October 26, starting at 1:00 p.m. A number of contests will be held, including: World’s Strongest Dog, Funniest Costume, Scariest Costume, Best Trick, and of course, Best Costume. They will even have a doggie agility course where your pup can strut his (or her) stuff!
District Dog
142 Driggs Avenue
Brooklyn New York 11222
www.districtdog.com
Lastly Lokal, Greenpoint’s first and only Mediterranean Bistro is open for business. Per the owner, they are currently offering a limited “opening” menu of foodstuffs. A full menu is slated to roll out the first week of November.
Lokal
905 Lorimer St
Brooklyn, NY 11222
(718) 384-6777
And, as Porky Pig frequently (and sagely) said:
That’s all folks!
Miss Heather
154 West Street Revisited
Wishing to enjoy this weekend’s unseasonably warm weather, I decided to go for a walk. Uncharacteristically, my husband said he wanted to join me. I advised him that I was going to a bunch of places he didn’t care for (clothes shopping), but he insisted upon tagging along anyway. So off we went— with the usual detour or four so as to check out some of the more hideous development “projects” which pock my neighborhood.
I hadn’t checked in on 154 West Street in awhile, so we swung by to see how they were progressing. True to form, there was some kind of activity going on inside. Exactly what it was, I do not know.
As you can see, the Fedderization process is almost complete. I for one find the addition of faux period detailing charming, especially since it is not in proper proportion to the rest of the building. Sadly, the owner went with brown stucco. While in keeping with my prognostication that stucco will supplant vinyl siding in the Garden Spot, it would have been nice if he had opted for a different color. Pink, orange or mint green would have been nice. West Street has enough “brown” as is. Most of it resides on the sidewalk and is of canine origin.
Next, I spied a stray cat through a hole in the fence on the adjacent lot. I like cats, so I took a peek. That’s when I found this.
I have seen the workers jettison garbage onto this lot on more than one occasion. That said, I was still surprised by how much of it has accumulated. Too bad the entity owns the adjacent parcel of property appears to have abandoned it. There are few things I like more than watching two developers having a litigation slug-fest.
As my husband and I were preparing to depart, were heard a man shout:
You taking pictures of my building?
It was the owner of 154 West Street. He was not at all upset, if anything he seemed to be amused. This is sort of ironic given I found something very amusing about his building. It was the placement of the air conditioner boxes he saw fit to install.
Think about it for a minute: if this building is like many others in Greenpoint (and New York City), the lot for 154 West Street ends at the above wall. If this is true, those A/C boxes are on 150 West Street’s property. Wouldn’t be fun if the owner of 150 finally found the wherewithal to do something with this rather sizable and prime piece of real estate? If he (or she) did, his neighbor to the north would be a prime candidate for a triple Fedderdectomy.
Miss Heather
The Greenpoint Monitor Museum
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
No, I am not talking about that Monitor Museum. Rather, I am referring to the rapid proliferation of monitors in this tree pit on McGuinness Boulevard. When I walked by this location October 19, there was but a solitary Mac.
A little over 48 hours later, however, I noticed the curator of this open air museum saw fit to diversify his (or her) collection with the addition of a P.C.
Or is that two P.C.s? Truth be told, it is kind of hard to tell.
Those of your who wish to make a donation to Greenpoint’s other Monitor Museum can take your (non-tax deductible) ‘contribution’ to the tree pit south of Freeman Street on McGuinness Boulevard. Macs and P.C.s are equally welcome. Upon receipt our highly trained panel of experts will ensure your generous gift is fucked up beyond all recognition.
Miss Heather
Peace on Franklin Street
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This can be seen on Franklin between Green and Freeman Street.
Miss Heather
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