Greenpoint
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‘Tis The Season: 143 Huron Street
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This week my good friends at 143 Huron have seen fit to gift wrap their hastily erected ediface. Maybe this white cloak is a safety precaution? Though that would seem unlikely given their employees bust glass bottles on the street in front of Bagel on the Run for entertainment. To Greenpoint with love from 143 Huron Street LLC:
A hunka hunka of flaming shit.
I can hardly wait to open it. I sure hope they won’t make me wait until Christmas morning. My curiosity is killing me.
Miss Heather
Coats, Scarves and Sock Monkeys, Oh My!
First off, I would like to thank the people who have contributed canned goods and coats to The Diamond Bar or the Greenpoint Reformed Church so far. Secondly, I would also like to make my fellow Greenpointers aware that Church of the Ascension is also accepting coats on the behalf of NY Cares. Here are the details per an email I received from the woman coordinating this drive, Nicole:
We have created a NY Cares Coat Drive drop-off at the Church of the Ascension in Greenpoint to make an easy nearby drop-spot for people who wish to donate coats to this good cause. It involves nothing more than people bringing by gently-used coats and they get a tax write-off and everyone feels good and people who need coats get them.
Drop offs can be made at the Java Street entrance to Ascension Hall (121 Java Street, between Manhattan Avenue and Franklin Street) at the following times:
SUNDAYS, 11:00am – 1:00pm
TUESDAYS, 4:30pm – 7:30pm
WEDNESDAYS, 4:30pm – 7:30pm
SATURDAYS, 10:00am – 12:30pm
Greenpoint Church of the Ascension
121 Java Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 389-3831
ascensionbrooklyn (at) gmail (dot) com
On a related note, I recently received an email from my friend Spring over at Love Keeps You Warm. She writes:
…all in all, we had about 200 scarves to contribute, and tons of yarn for next year! we’re going to keep accepting donations of yarn and scarves for next years baskets.
thanks!!!!
Anyone interested in contributing yarn or scarves should contact Diana via email at:
dprevitire (at) actorsequity (dot) org
Those are some great looking scarves, folks! Keep ’em coming.
Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn’t give another shout out to Fresh Art’s Sock Monkey Workshop. As it would happen, a New York Shitty commenter, papercut, gave it a whirl. She wrote:
I volunteered last night at Fresh Art thanks to your post and link. I had never made a sock monkey before and I fear addiction. What a fabulous group of women and organization. They were all curious how I heard about them and when I mentioned your blog everyone was very interested. I think you have a few more readers.
Who says doing something nice for others cannot be fun? Drop off a coat, knit a scarf or make a sock monkey today!
Miss Heather
Holiday Art Sales This Weekend
94 9 Street will be conducting their Holiday Art Sale this weekend, December 8 & 9, and next weekend, December 15 & 16, from 12:00 – 5:00 p.m. Twenty resident artists will have drawings, paintings, sculpture, photographs and jewelry for sale. All items will be priced at $500 or less, which for fine art is crazy cheap nowadays.
WHAT: 94 9 Street Holiday Art Sale
WHEN: December 8 & 9, December 15 & 16, 12:00 – 5:00 p.m.
WHERE: 94 9 Street, top floor, Brooklyn, New York 11215
HOW (to get there): Take the G or F to Smith and 9th Street or the R to 4th Avenue
You know, it has been some time since I have graced south Brooklyn with my presence. Methinks I will attend this event, buy a handmade goody or two and then take a little stroll in the Slope with my good buddy Chopper the Second.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Those of you looking for something a little closer to home should check out 3rd Ward’s Handmade Holiday Craft Fair and Open House tomorrow, December 8, 12:00 – 8:00 p.m. My buddy over at Greenpointers has the scoop about this way-cool event, you can read it here.
A Few Thoughts About Bedford Avenue
Filed under: Williamsburg
Earlier this week Date Girl and I had lunch on Bedford Avenue. As we watched hordes of twenty-somethings, young adults who have both the time and (a lot of) money to burn on a Tuesday afternoon, the inevitable topic arose: how much this area has changed. Even within the last year. Our conclusion: it is NOT for the better.
Has Bedford Avenue gone to the dogs? This is an excellent question. I am pleased to report the answer is “no”.
It has gone to the dinosaurs and one of them even has a faux snow hawk.
Miss Heather
The Vagina Log
(Envision Miss Heather walking down Calyer Street. She is headed east and has just crossed Newel Street.)
Gee, I wonder why someone painted part of this log blue? I think I’ll take a closer look.
Oh, that explains it! It needs a dissonant shade of blue to offset the vagina that has been painted on it. Silly me. I should have remembered that from art school!
Could someone please explain to me this recent practice of inscribing female genitalia on trees? I ask because this is the second one I have found in as many weeks.
Calyer Cooze*, meet the Bedford Avenue beaver. I wonder if they know about the Roebling Porno Tree? Methinks I’ll arrange an introduction.
Miss Heather
*This is the best commenter name I have ever heard of— and yes, there is a registered commenter on New York Shitty who has this moniker. She is a very nice person.
‘Tis The Season, Part II: Don’t Let The Bedbugs Bite!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
As promised, here is the shocking conclusion of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle article entitled Problem of City Living which dates 121 years to the day before the above photograph was taken: December 5, 1886. Those of you who have the dubious honor of living (or having lived) in this building will probably find the following description of the Astral hard to swallow. This beautiful building was a very nice place once. Read on and see for yourself.
…the Astral Apartments is the most perfect type of an apartment house in the world.
Not anymore. That “playground” where children once played has become a dog shit smeared den of inequity for the Superintendent and his harem. So much for those “ample sanitary requirements” as well: mold growing on ceilings and an unabated bedbug infestation are two of the least sanitary things I can think of. Then again, could I honestly expect anything different from the fine minds who brought us this?
I rest my case.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Any Williamsburgers out there who feel left out, don’t despair. It has come to my attention recently that you have plenty of these little critters too!
Gallery Opening Tonight!
Filed under: Area 51
I recently received from Jon Feinstein, the former Creative Director of Heeb Magazine and a wonderfully talented photographer, alerting me to a new show he has assembled in collaboration with Mark Batty Publisher. Jon writes:
If you’re in NYC this Thursday night, please stop by Gallery Bar at 120 Orchard Street for a show I helped curate, in conjunction with the Novella A Field Guide to the North American Family by Garth Risk Hallberg.
Here are the details:
WHAT: A FIELD GUIDE TO THE NORTH AMERICAN FAMILY: THE EXHIBITION
WHEN: December 6, 2007 – January 2, 2008*; the opening reception starts tonight at 7:00 p.m. and an open wine and drink specials are promised!
WHERE: Gallery Bar
120 Orchard Street, New York, New York 10002
(212) 529-2266
info (at) gallerybarnyc (dot) com
HOW (to get there): Take the F to Delancey or the JMZ to Essex Street
Although I have other plans this evening, I definitely plan to add this to my “to do” list. If you happen to be in the area, want to see some quality photography while quaffing a little wine, you should too. For more information, click here and you will be directed to the Humble Arts Foundation’s web site.
Miss Heather
*Gallery hours are Monday – Friday 1:00 – 6:00 p.m.
‘Tis The Season: Don’t Let The Bedbugs Bite!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
The above photograph was taken yesterday, December 5, 2007 at 8:00 p.m. in front of the 74 India Street entrance of the Astral Apartments. For the sake of comparison (and because quite frankly I have a VERY dark sense of humor) follows is the first installment of an article about this building from the December 5, 1886 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle. The second half will follow later today. Enjoy!
Am I the only one who finds it interesting that 121 years after this article was published that quality affordable housing is, once again, an issue?
Miss Heather
My Date With Dategirl: Part II
Filed under: Williamsburg
As I was headed home from my lunch date with Date Girl yesterday I was amused to find a vehicle from the Department of Environmental Protection parked on Greenpoint’s very own Manhattan Avenue.
I suppose being employed by an agency with the word environmental in its name pretty much relegates one to drive these candy-ass vehicles. This is a shame, actually, because I bet a lot more people would obey the law if they saw two plus tons of holy shit pull up in front of their building.
That little white speck of dust? That’s a tricycle! This is a real motor vehicle.
The dashboard is upholstered, for her pleasure.
Date Girl was in awe of the masterpiece laid before her eyes.
And so was I. If this city really wants to earn some credibility with its citizens, they should hire the dude who tricked out this van to customize all their vehicles. I have no idea what his name is, but I bet if you ask around Grand Street, you’ll find out soon enough.
Miss Heather
My Date With Dategirl: Part I
Filed under: Williamsburg
Today I visited my buddy at Bad Advice and checked in with Inky (the Pervy Potty Cat). I am his godmother and am, therefore, responsible for his emotional well-being. Aside from the prospect of MMG “Design” tearing down his home he was in good spirits. Dategirl, on the other hand, was not so we left scofflaw central and went for a walk. Shortly thereafter we found this, the Roebling Porno Tree.
You better not let the Big Greek know about this.
I said. To wit she replied:
Yeah, he might leave me for a tree.
What man in his right mind could refuse Internal Cumbustion #7? It’s like the Chanel #5 of Williamsburg porn.*
Miss Heather
*Oil not included.
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