Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Homeland Security
Filed under: Bushwick
The one thing that continues to fascinate me about the real estate industry is the lengths agents will go to spin an unattractive property in an unappealing location. And as I learned on Stanhope Street recently, they are not above throwing in a bit patriotism for good measure.
Note the name: Homeland Realty. I am supposing this is designed to convey a sense of security to the potential buyer. I for one find this tactic to be ill-founded. The biggest selling point for this property, in actuality, resides right across the street!
Nothing says “gracious home” like a couple of skulls, a disembodied ass (wearing a thong, no less) and a homemade mace. Those drapes look familiar. I wonder if they bought them at Ikea?
Miss Heather
P.S.: Oh yeah, after you move into your new home you might want to make the acquaintance of another neighbor who lives around the corner on Evergreen Avenue.
I can’t wait to see what kind of housewarming casserole these folks whip up.
It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Filed under: Bushwick
Let’s pretend you are the landlord of the above property. How would you add value to an otherwise drab building situated only a bong-toss away from the J/M/Z subway line?
Hang some hubcaps in it. Duh!
In fact, why not throw in a tire for good measure?
Inasmuch as it pains me to say it, the hubcaps actually do make this mess of electrical meters more attractive.
Miss Heather
Lost!!!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I came across the above flier this morning on Franklin Street. As it would happen, my colleague at The Gowanus Lounge and I not only saw this very briefcase on our latest walk, but he was thoughtful enough to take a photograph of it.
If you have seen this briefcase (or picked it up thinking it was free for the taking) please return it to:
The St. Anthony-St Alphonsus Church
862 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
or give Deacon Martinez a ring at the telephone number listed on the flier.
Thanks!
Miss Heather
Photo Credit: The Gowanus Lounge
THIS WEEK: Newtown Creek Stink
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Speaking as someone who remembers the rather *a-hem* robust cologne Greenpoint was rocking last summer and has seen how truly deplorable Newtown Creek is firsthand, this is a must-do event.
Polish Slavic Center
177 Kent Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 383-5290
Why not make an evening of it and have dinner at their cafeteria first? I’ve heard the meatloaf is delicious.
Miss Heather
Photo du Jour: Ho May Kitchen
Filed under: Area 51
Although I have never eaten there, I love the Ho May Kitchen. This restaurant is located at the intersection of Woodpoint Road and Frost Street. Many of you who are reading this know the previous is a less than spectacular location. The fact they serve up vittles behind bullet proof glass bears testament to this fact.
Foodstuffs aside, I love the old school sign, years of accumulated grime, excessive use of brown paint and even the bullet proof glass. What this building lacks in class, it more than makes up for in character. Which brings me to the new sign I found on its store front recently.
Craptastic advertising or sarcasm? I am leaning towards the latter. Give ’em hell, Ho May!
Miss Heather
Moore Street Market, Revisited
After mentioning this establishment in a post last week I thought it would be fun to learn a little bit about its history— especially in light of the fact that the future of the Moore Street Market looks very cloudy nowadays. Per the June 13, 2007 edition of the New York Daily News:
…the city’s Economic Development Corp. had suddenly notified 20 merchants who operate in the cavernous Moore St. market in Williamsburg that the building was to close June 15 to make way for new affordable housing.
After decades at the same location, the merchants were furious at the city’s bullying tactics.
“At first, they offered us $20 a square foot for our businesses and told us we had 20 minutes to make up our minds,” recalled Virgilio Rodriguez, owner of Ramonita’s Restaurant and head of the merchants group. “No papers, nothing in writing. Just get out, they said.”
The bureaucrats at EDC didn’t even have the common sense to consult the local community board about the city’s plans to demolish the market – something required by city land use laws.
The good news is this market was spared closure for another year. The bad news is this year ends June 2008. Will it survive or will it be razed to build “affordable housing”? I guess we will find out soon enough.
Follows is an article from the July 29, 1941 edition of the New York Times about the opening of the Moore Street Market. Not only was the turnout for this event enormous, but New York’s very own Fiorello La Guardia was master of ceremonies. Enjoy!
Here is the plaque at Moore Street Market commemorating this event.
You can find it inside the Moore Street entrance to your left.
Miss Heather
i-FORCE
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
One thing I have noticed about Greenpointers (and Polish men in particular) over the years is they love large automobiles. Whereas public transportation or a Honda Civic would pass muster with an average person, these chaps demand Humvees, pick-up trucks or S.U.V.s. The bigger, the better. Last weekend I came upon one such vehicle on Nassau Avenue. Amused by the sheer size of this gas guzzler, I went in for a closer look.
Nothing declares “Ask me about my castration anxiety” like bright red paint job and a placard emblazoned with the phrase “i-Force”. I cannot believe professionals are paid to come up with this stuff. Seriously. Give me five minutes and a copy of Penthouse Forum and I’ll come up with a dozen pieces of ad copy better than this.
No wonder this gent is worried about his balls: they’re tiny! Those fellas sure look awfully cold. He should knit them a nice little cozy to keep them warm.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Testicular trucks should hardly be surprising coming from the neighborhood which invented “Snoodling”.
Bushwick Photo du Jour: Montieth Street
Filed under: Bushwick
Even in its current wrecked state this is one neat mural!
Miss Heather
Poopie Po Polsku?
This weekend, dear readers, I beheld my very first piece of dog doo signage directed at the local Polish-speaking population…
at Scholes Street and Manhattan Avenue?!?
I am not an expert at public outreach, but I have to wonder how effective a sign admonishing people in Polish is going to be in a neighborhood that is largely Hispanic. Of course the punchline here is during all my years of living in Greenpoint (which is rumored to have a rather sizable Polish population) I have never, ever, seen such a sign posted here.
No wonder there is dog shit all over the place.
Miss Heather
A Greenpoint Moment: Newel Street
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Be advised that the buzzards are not working at 115 Newel Street today. Perhaps they have Martin Luther King Day off?
The same cannot be said for the lions, horse heads and eagle* which grace this property: they are faithfully at work making this building look like ass.
Miss Heather
*Or is this a chicken? It is sort of hard to tell.
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