The Bicycles of Bedford-Stuyvesant

Anyone who has lived in New York City for any appreciable period of time can attest that bicycle theft is a serious problem. Stealing and reselling bikes is a cottage industry in Greenpoint, and there has yet to be an anti-theft device invented by man that will deter would-be thieves from filching any and all ten speeds that tickle their fancy.

As morally repugnant as their choice of profession may be, I really have to hand it to these folks: the inventiveness and tenacity they employ is downright admirable. If this energy and brain power was properly harnessed, these petty criminals would be world leaders and Nobel prize winners. But they aren’t and so the age old question goes: how can we ultimately stop bike theft? I suppose only time will tell, but I suspect the people of Bed-Stuy may very well have found the answer: build a better bicycle.

This three wheeler hails from Lewis Avenue. I do not know how the owner managed to secure it to the light pole, but I imagine anyone trying to remove it will get a concussion or a broken arm as a reward for his efforts.

Of course invoking grievous bodily harm may not be everyone’s cup of tea. In which case confusion will probably suffice. “So this would-be thief wants some wheels?” this denizen of Bed-Stuy asked himself. Well, why not give them to him? A LOT OF WHEELS: bicycle wheels, wheel chairs, and the like will keep your klepto busy disentangling his new prize until the police show up.

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. But I have come to expect as much from my friends in this much-maligned and underrated neighborhood.

Bravo, Bed-Stuy! Bravo!

Miss Heather

Sith in the Stuy

I was once of the opinion that Williamsburg and Greenpoint had a monopoly when it comes to aesthetically bankrupt, oppressive and soul-crushing architecture. Then I walked down Lafayette street in Bedford-Stuyvesant and learned how very wrong I was.

For the last week I couldn’t shake the feeling that this building reminded me of something. Something very, very familiar. Call it a “tremor in the Force” if you will. When I awoke this morning it finally came to me.

This is no mere piece of schlockitecture, it’s the Dark Side Mews! Don’t believe me? Just look what Darth has done to the house across the street.

Damn.

Miss Heather