Fear And Loathing On The Southside

April 8, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg

Last Friday The New York Observer made the following wry observation about my latest installment of violence against public pay phones:

Evidence would suggest Williamsburg pay phones have become the target of twenty-something angst.

I mulled this theory over for a moment and came to the conclusion that they may very well be right. It also begs the question as to how the neighbors of these 20-somethings vent the frustration that invariably arises with living elbow to elbow with the young and the privileged. Yesterday on Driggs Avenue at South 3rd Street I finally learned their secret.

Step 1: Get a door, preferably one that is light weight and of low quality
Step 2: Secure an X-Men 2 poster and some duct tape.
Step 3: Affix the aforementioned poster to door with duct tape.

Step 4: Give your doorman a “body” and slug away.

Looks like this guy needs to work on his aim.

Miss Heather

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Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Marty For Life

April 7, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic

I found this flier at McCarren Park this afternoon. First Jamie was caught hoarding Murakami swag, now the Markowitzes have kicked it up a notch by plotting world domination!

Miss Heather

P.S.: Here’s another bit of Martymania from a Manhattan Avenue pay phone!

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Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Bedford Avenue

April 7, 2008 ·
Filed under: Williamsburg

Yes, it would appear that there are people in this borough (real estate agents mainly) who think flogging the Fischer brand will attract business. Where is this Maple Street masterpiece, you ask? It’s here.

Miss Heather

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Weekend Round-Up: Springtime In Greenpoint

April 7, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bum Shit, Greenpoint Magic

The first breath of spring weather last weekend was greeted by my fellow Greenpointers in good form:

3/31/08: a toilet is left on my block
4/4/08, 11:40 P.M.: someone sees fit to do #2 in said porcelain throne using what appears to be legal paper as toilet paper. (Not that I am complaining, mind you. Someone deposited a hefty helping of diarrhea on my stoop two weeks prior. The fact someone used this privy gives me solace that there is some semblance of decency in this city.)
4/5/08, 2:30 P.M.: I saw a drunk chap sipping from a can of Foster’s Lager with a straw
4/5/08, 7:00 P.M.: I saw a chihuahua in a dress
4/5/08, 8:30 P.M.: I saw a VERY inebriated dude getting loaded (no pun intended) into an ambulance in front of a liquor store on Manhattan Avenue. It took four EMS workers to do it.

Springtime in Greenpoint is something to behold, folks. I have experienced eight of them and have yet to be disappointed.

Case in point:

Something about the warm weather brings out the (already) impish nature of my Garden Spot brethren.

Note the use of tense, e.g.: Karen eats dick whereas Lenny ate dick.

As did “Fuser”. The gentleman (whose shoulder can be seen in the above photo, a MTA employee no less) was initially alarmed by my shutterbugging. When I explained to him that this was the third instance of someone “eating dick” I had seen in as many days in Greenpoint he left me alone.

Go figure.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Oh yeah, if you haven’t read about it already some guys managed to drive into Newtown Creek at 3:00 a.m. this morning.

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TOMORROW: Oversight Hearing For The G Train

April 7, 2008 ·
Filed under: Area 51

The Save The G Coalition has announced that Committee Chair John Liu has organized an oversight hearing regarding G train service tomorrow, April 8, at 1:00 p.m. Per their press release:

Witnesses from the MTA will be asked to speak about ridership data, plans for the future, conditions, and other issues regarding G line service, and the public is also encouraged to testify about their own experiences.

Oversight: What is the MTA doing to improve service on the G line?
Resolution #1262: Calling upon MTA to immediately improve service on the G line and to not implement any service cuts.

For all of you who’ve been endlessly frustrated by the roller coaster ride that is G line service levels, Save The G is asking you to turn out in force on April 8th. Riders from Queens AND Brooklyn have been affected by the MTA’s various management decisions and random service changes.

WHAT: Oversight Hearing For The Crosstown Local

WHEN: Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 1:00 p.m.

WHERE: Council Chambers, City Hall

HOW (do I get there?): Chambers Street Stop of the J/M/Z, Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall Station of the 4/5/6, City Hall Station of the R/W or Park Place Station of the 2/3

WHY: Because the G is taxed enough as is. Imagine what is going to happen when people start moving into all the condominiums being built in the Garden Spot and around McCarren Park.

In closing, if any of you are curious about the image gracing the beginning of this post, click here to read an article from the April 15, 1985 edition of the Greenline. Enjoy!

Miss Heather

P.S.: If you can’t appear in person but want to submit written testimony for the official record, email it to savetheg[at]yahoo[dot]com and they will print & submit it for you. Remember that for it to be considered official testimony, it must include your full name and mailing address.

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