Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
Williamsburg Photo du Jour: The Flying Nun
Filed under: Williamsburg
From Devoe Street.
Miss Heather
Volunteers Needed At McGolrick Park Dog Run!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Jeff Sandrund, the new Parks point person for things north Brooklyn has generously provided the McCarren Park dog run with new bark chips. The catch? The McGolick PArk dog run group needs help spreading them!
WHAT: Chip spreading
WHEN: Saturday, April 26 at 11:00 a.m.
WHERE: McGolrick Park Dog Run
For more information about this or the numerous other things the McGolrick Park dog run has cooking (like a run for small dogs, for example), contact Rob Maher at:
rob (at) kaschiduds (dot) com
Woof!
Miss Heather
East Williamsburg Photo du Jour: In Bloom!
Filed under: Williamsburg
From Cooper Park.
Miss Heather
Au Revoir, Rat King
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
It is with a heavy heart that I announce that 79 Kingland Avenue (AKA: The home of the Garden Spot’s very own Rat King) has finally succumbed to condomania.
Kate writes:
On Monday or Tuesday the big tree in front got cut down and someone put a R.I.P. sign on the stump. And today, all the windows were boarded up and there is a wooden fence around the house. I have a picture from today. It might be too many pixels, plus the colors are a little weird. I can send if you want.
All the pigeons that used to sit in the tree don’t know what to do.
It will be interesting to see what happens next. Plans were filed with the Department of Buildings to construct a seven story residential apartment building on this site. They were disapproved.
I am going to miss that tree. It was one of the most beautiful and eccentric ones to be found in this neighborhood. That’s “progress” for you!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Peekaboo!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Franklin Street.
Miss Heather
Hard Hat Hannah Struts Her Stuff
Ever since she learned about Ms. Lancaster’s resignation, Hard Hat Hannah has been on my case.
Hannah: I want to see some of these work sites. I’ve been through rehab. I’m OK.
Miss H: Are you sure you can take it?
Hannah: BRING IT ON!
So I took her to Orient Avenue.
First up, 59:
Hannah: This house gives me the creeps.
Miss H: I’ve got your back. Let’s go in!
I detect some vandalism on this fence.
She said. To wit I asked:
What does it say?
OOH A SECRET!
NO WAY!
Yes way
Hannah then proclaimed:
This property is no secret. Per the Department of Buildings it is to be bricked up and fenced off. What’s more, I find this…
shoddy fence most disturbing. Anyone and their dog can get in here!
Miss H: It would appear someone already has.
Hannah: Dammit!
Miss H: Let’s head down the street to 11 Orient, it’s a total shit hole.
Wow, this fence wasn’t here the last time I walked by. I wonder what happened?
Hannah: They got hit with two Stop Work Orders, that’s what!
Miss H: You go, Hannah!
Hannah:
The inspector who filled out this form made two egregious errors:
- Naming Marie Russo as the owner and
- MGM Demo as the contractor
I have seen this shit time and time again. The real author behind this disaster is none other than Marie Grasso and MMG Design!
What else can I say? Miss Hannah may be small, but she’s one damned good sleuth! What’s more, only a raging village of idiots could secure a demolition permit 4/16/08 only to get slapped with a Stop Work Order six days later.
Way to go, Grasso!
Miss Heather
Bushwick Photo du Jour: Broadway
Filed under: Area 51
Looks like Dan Quayle has hit the hood (and the potatoe chips)!
Miss Heather
The Greenpoint Hotel Goes Upscale!
I have written much about this institution. When I first moved to Greenpoint I had the dubious honor of living around the corner from this den of iniquity. I quickly became acclimatized to having crack heads, derelicts, ex-cons and register sex offenders as neighbors. Police raids became routine, e.g.; buy groceries, run laundry, watch 20+ policemen (and women) raid the Greenpoint Hotel.
I have since moved on, but nothing— and I mean NOTHING— prepared me for the email I received last night.
Laura: Hi Heather! I thought you’d get a kick out of this. The Greenpoint Hotel has a website that boasts of its “luxury suites”.
Miss H: Seriously, this isn’t a joke?
Laura: My personal favorite is that they refer to it as a “bed & breakfast”. I guess it’s the place to be!
Miss H: Mary, Jesus and Joseph— and I am not even CATHOLIC!!!
Laura: I so thought this was up your alley! Enjoy!
This institution got hit with a Stop Work Order after one patron partaking of said “comfortable accommodations” set his mattress on fire and was found frolicking in his own feces last February.
Before being hauled off to Bellevue, he assaulted a police officer! Keith Moon, eat you heart out! Hilarious hoax or wishful thinking? Check out their web site and* decide for yourself!
Miss Heather
Bushwick Gentrification Watch: Behind The Green Door
Filed under: Bushwick
Clearly this neighborhood is poised to become the next great outer borough Valhalla any day now. If any of you ladies or gentleman want a good ass kicking (but don’t want to pay those outrageous Manhattan prices) head to this house on Bushwick Avenue. The concierge will be more than happy to oblige you.
Miss Heather
Tickled Pink!
Filed under: Bed-Stuy
I was recently embroiled in a controversy at the local Taco Bell. The source of this conflict was a 40-something suit who wanted to use his credit card to purchase $7.00 worth of food. Since the minimum was $10 (and he was unwilling to go to an ATM) this chap began entreating his fellow patrons to let him buy their lunch with his credit card and pay him back in cash. No one seemed interested in taking him up on this arrangement save me— for three very selfish reasons:
- I wanted some nachos*. BAD.
- I was very hungry and wanted to eat sometime this century.
- I wanted him to SHUT UP.
Therefore, I gladly gave him some bucks and we ordered food. In his gratitude (or perhaps thinking me to be his new friend) he started talking me up.
Man: Do you like that color?
Me: What?
Man (pointing to my lilac colored hair): Your hair and clothes, they match.
Given that I was faced with one of the more idiotic questions I had been posed with in quite awhile (if I didn’t like lilac so much, why the hell would I be clad top to bottom— literally— in it?), I handled it pretty well:
Yes, I like lilac, pink, purple, you name it. I am not afraid of color.
I mention this anecdote because I was tickled pink to discover later this very same day that someone in Bed Stuy also has an affection for this hue.
Or they had a serious surplus of pink paint and a lot of free time on their hands. Take your pick.
Not even the seating was left untouched.
I call this photograph Ode To A Cerisian Urn.
Or should I make that urns?
Yes sir, someone on Quincy Street sure loves them some pink!
A LOT.
Miss Heather
*Yours truly has a weakness for cheese that comes out of a tube.
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