Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Authority
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From the Greenpoint Terminal Market.
Miss Heather
Bike Fetish Day 2008
Today after getting off work I decided to go for a stroll. Much to my surprise (and good fortune) I stumbled upon the Bike Fetish Day festivities in full swing!
This is the winner for “Ugliest Bike”. I for one do not see what is so ugly about it. I think it is pretty damned cool!
For more pictures and video footage of Bicycle Fetish Day, check out my flickr and YouTube sets. Be sure to check out who won “Best Of Show” as it made me want to gouge my eyes (and ovaries) out.*
Miss Heather
*As I was trying to film this event (while seated on the street) this man’s son kept using my head as a place to lean on. Twice I had to remove this houseape’s arm/body from my head. Having to supervise another person’s offspring makes me more than a little testy. Hillary Clinton once said:
It takes a village to raise a child.
This may very well be so. But speaking as one such “villager” I am none too fond of this arrangement. I am all for free childcare, I just don’t want to be the person providing it.
This Week In Shitwick
Filed under: Bushwick
This was the subject of an email I received this morning. It comes from a good friend of mine named Chin who lives in Bushwick. The content pretty much speaks for itself. Enjoy!
Yet another message from the universe that I need to replace my broken camera and carry it AT ALL TIMES.
1) As you well know, I have oft complained of the copious dissemination of chicken bones throughout this neighborhood. My dog walker claims to have seen people eating chicken in their cars and tossing the bones out the windows. Bushwickians loves them some chicken! Or as I have hypothesized in the past: they hate chickens so vehemently they kill them daily and scatter their bones Trojan War-Style so their chicken souls will never rest. If I could “see dead people” I would no doubt have to stomach the horror of wading waist-deep through thousands upon thousands of chicken ghosts sentenced to walk the earth in limbo–ghosts thick as mud –just to procure my morning vitamin water at the corner store.
Well, this week while walking the dog I came upon a full-blown chicken corpse in the park, feathers, feet and all–apparently died of a broken neck. There was no ripping as one would expect from an animal attack. This was pre-meditated. Now, I don’t see chickens walking around here so undoubtedly the murder took place elsewhere and this is where they decided to dump the body.
2) 6 foot+ dude with a mullet toting life-sized jousting equipment that was built out of sticks, cardboard and tape. This dude has been spotted playing bad music in the subways and coughing on people’s heads at art film viewings.
3) Less exciting but noteworthy–again walking the dog–got distracted by a sound, looked back too late to stop my dog from walking directly through a puddle of drunk vomit.
4) 2 public urinations, one of whom went out of his way to come within earshot (thankfully after zipping up) to wish me a good evening
5) My favorite place to buy beer has now a “no pets allowed in store” sign. Now I have to cross the street to buy beer.
Dead chickens, mullets, vomiting and two public urinations. Methinks I was all wrong about Bushwick. It is well on its way to becoming another Williamsburg any day now!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Psychic Friend
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
From Manhattan Avenue.
Miss Heather
No Sleep Til Greenpoint
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Anyone in the know will tell you schlepping one’s ass from Greenpoint to Park Slope and back is no picnic. This usually entails taking the G to F. Getting to the Brooklyn Lyceum is a bit more complicated. Do I want to transfer at the 4th Avenue Station for the M(aybe) or R(arely)? No, I have more faith in my feet than those trains, thank you very much.
So after the Blogfest the Mister and I walked to the F. This ended up being a trek well worth making. Firstly, I learned the pay phone at the intersection of 4th Avenue and Garfield Street is tapped. How do I know this you ask?
Someone was kind enough to label it.
This person (presumably a patron of the Manhattan-Queens bound F) employed a very novel (if flawed) approach to solving this civil liberties conundrum: if you can’t hear them, the spooks can’t hear you.
We saw this at Bergen Street waiting for the G train. While too abject for some, I have to admit any commentary involving a penis and a small fluffy dog makes me chuckle.
Further down the platform we saw some subway Seppuku. This is pretty dark. Even for me. I want to go home.
Nothing says welcome back to Greenpoint to yours truly like:
I like big dick in my mouth
scrawled on a Department of Buildings subway poster. I suppose “Construction Safety Week” didn’t go over as well as intended. Yes, I am just as surprised as you are.
As many of you know Town Square’s “Earth Day” celebration at McCarren Park was co-sponsored by Exxon Mobil, British Petroleum and Bruce Ratner (among others). What you may not know, however, is Susan Anderson of Town Square rolled out this classic one liner in the April 25, 2008 edition of the Greenpoint Courier:
Exxon, for better or worse, is a part of the community.*
Greenpoint— with or without oil— is is indeed going green. Just not in the manner the local patricians had intended. Unlike the party-foulers at Nassau Avenue, we folks at the Greenpoint Avenue stop don’t worry too much about death.
We prefer to celebrate life.
Miss Heather
*I just about pissed my pants laughing when I read this.
Gratitude
Filed under: Area 51
I suppose by the time most of you read this last night’s event will be splashed all over the Internets. So be it. This post is not dedicated to blogging about Blogfests or bloggers. It is dedicated to you: my readers. Follows is an excerpt of what I said last night during my speech at the Brooklyn Blogfest III:
Another characteristic of blogs I enjoy is interactivity. This is something not to be found in conventional media. As the proprietress of a New York Shitty I am not merely putting something out in the world for people to read. My blog is not a monologue; it is a dialog with my readership. I cannot overemphasize how much I value the contributions my readers have made to New York Shitty, not just in the way of comments but also in terms of content and tips. In this respect, New York Shitty is very much a collaborative effort. Some of my favorite posts have come as a result of their efforts and I would be sorely remiss if I were not to give them thanks here and now. Thanks guys (and gals). Keep the dead rat stories coming. Those are my favorites.
The previous rhetoric may seem like a lengthy platitude but I assure you it is not. When a picture of a rat with a Heineken bottle cap perched atop its head accompanies my first cup of morning coffee I know it will be a good day. The same goes for reading a personal testimonial about finding a dead rat stuffed into the change slot of a Metrocard dispenser at the Bedford Avenue stop of the L. Either of the previous may not be the normal person’s idea of how to start his/her day but I think it has been established all too well that I am not “normal”.
I get other gifts. This week someone sent me a jpg of her cat posing next to a mouse (or baby rat— hard to tell) it had just slayed. And last night, dear readers, I received this from the proprietress of Brooklynometry.
Having read about my despondency regarding parting with Chopper, she was kind enough to give me a replacement. In a handy baggie no less! Little did she know that I had already secured another “plate” that is just itching to be put to good use. Now I have two. That means double the trouble!
Thanks!
Miss Heather
THIS WEEK: Zombie Feast
Filed under: Area 51
I noticed this flier while knocking around the neighborhood and felt like passing it along. I am not too sure what a “Zombie Feast” entails, but I cannot think of a better place to host one than the Garden Spot of The Universe. The last time I walked by the Greenpoint Hotel it was teeming with ’em.
Zombie Fest
Barge Park
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Perhaps after the festivities we can round up these zombies and set them loose in our subway system to fight the bedbugs*?
Miss Heather
*As silly as this may sound, I am fascinated by how much brouhaha this revelation generated. Seriously. So there are creatures living on subway benches? Big damned deal. I for one am pissed off that I have to pay $2.00 to ride the subway while those free-loading son of bitches are getting to ride for free.
The Pool’s Open At 141 Frost Street!
Filed under: Williamsburg
I don’t know about any of you, but I cannot wait for summer. There are few things Miss Heather likes more than lazing at the beach or haunting the local swimming pool. The only bitch is access.
Sure, I love Coney Island but the subway ride there is long enough to lull me into an existentialist stupor. The McCarren Park Pool is set to be restored to some semblance of its former glory, but this isn’t going to come to pass for years. I have never been one to have much patience. I want gratification and I wanted it yesterday.
For this reason you can imagine my glee when I learned that this lot at 141 Frost Street has everything I need to enjoy a good summertime dip.
1. A diving plank and plenty of sunshine. I can almost smell the Coppertone now!
2. And lest we forget, WATER!
Perhaps I am simply being a worry wort, but something about this picture just doesn’t look right. Anyone?
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Feel The Yuppie Love
Filed under: Williamsburg
From North 4th Street.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Feel Good Edition
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Who cannot help but crack a smile when finding this on McGuinness Boulevard?
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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