Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
News From The Snow Globe Factory: VANDALISM!
Or: Behind every great fortune lies a great crime.
The last few days have been spent sealing snow globes, cleaning and organizing. When I left one snow globe unattended today— in the privacy of my own home— the unthinkable happened.
It. Was. Vandalized. ONCE AGAIN: VANDALIZED!
We all know that graffiti is a problem in Greenpoint— but with HO scale people? This not only besmirched New York City’s name, but my fair community’s as well. The Greenpoint Gazette has made this quite clear. I certainly hope this was not captured on Google street view! I, as a citizen, will not stand for this shit.
So I took a page from Tony Argento’s book and offered a bounty to my fellow citizens so as to apprehend the miscreant responsible. With a twist— and on a much more modest, pragmatic level.
If there’s one thing I have come to understand about “The Argentos” it is this; they are quite “generous” with campaign donations and local charitable organizations. I call this “spreading the fertilizer”. It makes the land “fertile” for whatever BS they plan to do— or have already done. CASE IN POINT:
But I do not have these kind of resources. So I asked myself:
What creature acts most like a politician/opportunist? Someone willing to say or do anything for the end result— moral scruples be damned— and CHEAP?
It did not take me long to figure it out: Katz CATS!
- First I stole a dollar from the Mister’s wallet.
- Secondly, I “infused” my ill-gotten gains with catnip.
- Thirdly, so as to kick things off, I placed a little— LITTLE— catnip on the floor. Just enough for a taste. I was playing “benefactor”.
Sure enough, they fought over it.
Then I asked my question and waved a catnip-infused dollar.
This is how “politics” works in Greenpoint (and New York City). You can be a slumlord, operate an illegal waste trade business, get busted for it; owe the Internal Revenue Service over a half a million dollars in tax liens and owe $30,000 in fines to the Department of Buildings on one building alone— but as long as you donate “generously”, you will be a pillar of the community and your complaint about someone vandalizing your property to the extent of $8,000 whole dollars— will be taken seriously. Let’s take the following 94th Precinct Community Council meeting which came to pass in April 2013.
Even if you say “SB”. (Instead of BS— The following video is even better!)
Note: the Business Integrity Commission decision of which I included passages was issued the very next month! One has to admire that kind of bald-faced hypocrisy. Which brings me back to the video gracing the beginning of this post. It was shot on August 23, 2012. So, as Mr. Levin was extolling upon what great corporate citizens Gina and Tony are, they were busy operating an illegal waste trade business. In Greenpoint. Among other things. Do the math— and please read this. It is always refreshing to see a City Councilman allocating money outside his own district. When one receives the largess of the Argentos, it comes with strings attached…
But as you see below, gentle readers, it was money well spent!
Update, July 1st 2014: Oh, how could I forget something a reporter from Crains recently brought to my attention!?!
Hmm…
P.S.: No animals were hurt during the filming of these videos. They just got really, seriously, stoned on catnip.
*Monica Holowacz is either an Office Assistant or owner of this company. Either way, I find it very, VERY difficult to believe she had the funds to make a $4,000 donation to Mr. DeBlasio’s campaign. This of course begs the question as to where this money really came from. Anyone?
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