Weights And Measures, Greenpoint Style

June 16, 2008 by missheather
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic

Discarded beer bottles are an all too common sight in my neighborhood. Sometimes I find them artfully arranged in doorways, other times I find them stacked precariously atop a Siamese hydrant. These fallen soldiers of a hard fought bottle are to Greenpoint what strollers are to my neighbors in Park Slope: ubiquitous and occasionally annoying.

When I walked around the Garden Spot yesterday, I encountered yet more evidence of our neighborhood’s love of suds.

I found this bicycle on Manhattan Avenue. Note the placement of a bottle behind the rear wheel. Have beer, will travel!

Each handle bar has been utilized to its maximum load bearing potential.

An empty pack of cigarettes graces the seat. This collection of detritus has got to be either the aftermath of one hell of a party or some graduate student’s art project. In Greenpoint, one never knows.

This seemingly odd grouping of empty beer bottles (on Calyer Street), conversely, was no mystery at all.

Note the label on the bottle: one pint and .9 fluid ounces. That’s 16.9 ounces for those of you keeping track.

Now let’s look at the instructions posted on the mailbox. They remind us of The 13-Ounce Rule. 3.9 ounces too much. Thus they were returned to sender. Sans their contents.

This is Greenpoint, after all.

Miss Heather

P.S.: Yes, I know the difference between weight and volume. This is satire. Lighten up.