New York Shitty Day Ender: DIY

July 15, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy

Some of you, gentle readers, might have noticed I have a category on this site called “Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy”. What you have just seen is why this is so. As you can see, this fellow has (with the help of some duct tape) retrofitted a boombox into his own personal music device (and fashion accessory). What was on his “playlist”, you are wondering? Supertramp— which is as good a selection as any for a Sunday afternoon sojourn along Calyer Street. This just goes to show if you got something that works, who the hell cares what other people think? Just roll with it!

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The Word On The Street, Part III: Whoops

July 15, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11206, Bushwick, Bushwick Brooklyn, The Word On The Street

From Locust Street.

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From The New York Shitty Inbox: Anyone Have $799,999?

July 15, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11211, 11222, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic

If so, you can make 373 Graham Avenue (as seen above) all yours. Really. I am not kidding.

New York Shitty Analysis

Glass Half Full: To the agent’s credit, he does disclose this building’s lack of Certificate of Occupancy.
Glass Half Empty: However, he fails to note the present owner has a restraining order (which he has seen fit to violate) as a result of chasing someone with a chainsaw. It has been my observation most people find this kind of thing to be a “deal breaker”.

My advice: Unless you have the dubious honor of being “Joe’s” neighbor (in which case you should start a Kickstarter campaign— STAT) take your business to 419 Graham Avenue instead…

Credits/Props: Special thanks go out to Sarah and Devery for bringing these items to my attention.

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The Word On The Street, Part II: For The Love Of Big Brother (& Tomatoes)

July 15, 2012 ·
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic

Yours truly encountered the above missive today at the intersection of Herbert and Humboldt Street. Exactly what would make these tomatoes especially desirable is beyond me. Perhaps the emissions from the off-ramp of the Brooklyn Queens Expressway impart to them some special flavor? I suppose only the thief knows for certain. In any case, methinks I’ll take the old fashioned route and acquire my produce at the grocery store. It is pretty clear this person means business.

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