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From The New York Shitty Inbox: Kosciuszko Bridge Free Verse
Filed under: 11222, Advanced Life Forms, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
Yesterday afternoon I received a text message from none other than Queens Crap. It went as follows:
Great graffiti msgs on wall of bqe by crappy park
To wit I, the New York Shittite I am, inquired:
Which crappy park?
Let’s face facts: those of us who our “Parks Advocates” profess to serve in the 11211 and 11222 — the hoi polloi, if you will— while different in many ways can agree on one thing: our parks are overall, um, a bit lackluster. I was not being coy or cheeky when I asked Crappy for a clarification. I was a asking a legitimate question. If this is not damning indictment of the “system” which has been put in place to “benefit” my community I do not know what is. But I digress.
Crappy replied:
Vandervoort.
That’s all I needed to know.
Welcome to Sgt. William Dougherty Playground located at Vandervoort and Meeker Avenue in the armpit whoops, I meant on-ramp of Kosciuszko Bridge. I immediately noticed something amiss (as indicated by the above arrow). It took a little investigating— and a LOT of patience— but I unraveled this mystery. Or at least documented it. Here it goes.
(NOTE: You can view this section in larger format by clicking here.)
I love a happy ending.
Miss Heather
Stolen On Manhattan Avenue: Fuji Police Bike
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
I spied this flier coming home this afternoon. I realize the copy is a bit difficult to read so here is a transcription:
On 8/13/2010 all black FUJI POLICE bicycle (as depicted) has been stolen at Manhattan Ave (in front of THE GARDEN store) If you have any information about this bicycle call at…(excised) Reward will be given to anyone who helps find this bike.
If you have seen this bicycle or know of its whereabouts please contact its rightful owner at the above telephone number. A $300 dollar for its return is being offered. In closing (and once again) please register your bicycles at the 94th Precinct. This service is (once again) totally free. You can learn how to make an appointment by clicking here.
Miss Heather
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