Quicklink: We’re #5!

This item was brought to my attention by my buddy Kevin Walsh of Forgotten- NY. He writes:

“Brooklyn’s Boerum Hill and Greenpoint take the 4th and 5th spots on the list.”

Nathan Silver has likely never heard of Little Neck, Maspeth, Ridgewood or Tottenville. He seems to equate bars and nightlife as most desirable elements.

Article not yet online.

As you can see, Kevin is not a man of many words. No worries, I have plenty:

A. I want to read this article.
B. Among the criteria used to determine what constitutes a “good” neighborhood are:

1. cost of living
2. access to bars
3. safety

New York Shitty analysis:

Regarding Point #1: I would imagine one of the factors for “cost of living” is rental prices. Exactly what does Mr. Silver consider affordable? I ask because:

A. The rents in our fair burgh are (still) ridiculous high.
B. Though promised, we have yet to get so much as one unit of affordable housing.

Regarding Point #2: Bars are not a sure-fire indicator of an elevated quality of life. Quite to the contrary, can have a very negative impact on the community.

Regarding Point #3: I’m guessing the 94th Precinct’s crime statistics/COMPSTAT were used to calculate safety. Anyone who was lived in Greenpoint can and will attest that these numbers are deceptive because:

A. Many crimes are not reported
B. Many of the crimes reported are downgraded in severity, e.g.; grand larceny is becomes “lost property”.

The previous is not to suggest that Greenpoint isn’t a nifty place to live. It is. All the essentials, e.g.; grocery stores, laundromats, house ware stores, etc., are here. We also have the Shit Tits. This is a BIG plus in my book. But arguably Greenpoint’s greatest asset is its people: there is a sense of community here that is downright endearing. In essence, what The Garden Spot of the Universe has going for it is not the stuff of statistics. It is found by pounding the pavement.

On that note, Mr. Silver’s findings has yet to be published can be found here. But I would like to take a moment to point out something he failed to factor in his analysis.*

Meet Jessica.

Not only is she purported to be “hotter than 98 degrees” (among other things) but she can be yours at our very own Just For Fun!**

After I shot the above photograph a gent exiting this establishment said:

She’s all yours.

I sort of think Jessica belongs to everybody, if you know what I mean.

I replied.

Man: Not me.
Me: You’re a smart man.

Take that Park Slope!

Miss Heather

*Though he gets points for rating Greenpoint 38 of 50 for park space. Anyone who has seen the sorry excuse for a “park” that graces the end of Greenpoint Avenue will attest this lowly stature is well-deserved. I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention that the excellence of Greenpoint’s Public Schools is well known. At least in Williamsburg. This is why they put up fliers offering money for the use of a Greenpoint address.

**I failed to get the price for Jessica’s company. My bad. Then again, if you are in the market for such an item (and you know who you are) price isn’t really an issue now is it?