Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
WANTED AT SHAYZ LOUNGE: Pianist
I never had patience required to master the piano. I do, however, have a very healthy appreciation for those who have. For this reason I couldn’t resist passing along this solicitation for pianists at Shayz Lounge. No details are given as to what (if any) compensation is in the offering. But hey, you get to twinkle the same ivories as Herbie Hancock— and there’s something to be said for that!
Shayz Lounge
130 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Elk
Filed under: 11211, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
From Skillman Avenue.
Miss Heather
Reader Participation Time
When I was in elementary school my teachers often doled out story-telling exercises. My classmates and I would each be handed an object (or an image of people doing one thing or another) and we were charged with writing a story based upon it. In hindsight I realize the purpose of these assignments was (among other things) to gauge whether or not there were any crazies in the classroom. To the best of my knowledge none were detected (and trust me, there were a few loose nuts to be found). So much for public education.
I mention the previous anecdote because today I found something on Greenpoint Avenue that is a story crying out to be told.
A female condom adhered to one of Michael Bloomberg’s 1,000,000 trees. In front of our local poultry slaughterhouse, no less.
There are no rules in this reader participation exercise save that the tale must feature this delightful artifact. I’ll get the ball rolling with:
Once upon a time in Greenpoint…
Get cracking folks!
Miss Heather
UPDATE, 6:45 p.m.: Apparently this prophylactic has resided on this tree since July 5th.
Laura (who took the above photograph) writes:
I thought you’d like to see the deterioration process of the condom. Here’s how it looked on July 5, 2009 when it was reported to the Parks Dept. For obvious reasons, that’s one tree problem that I’m unwilling to tackle.
P.S.: I threw up a little when I saw this.
Image Credits: Blues Brothers film still courtesy of Bluesbrotherscentral.com
FRIDAY: Greenpoint Open Studios
This is a quick reminder that the Greenpoint Open Studios extravaganza kicks off Friday, September 25, at 7:00 p.m. at WYNC Transmitter Park. More detailed information (including the above itinerary, list of participating galleries and a handy map!) can be yours for the download at Greenpoint Open Studio’s web site. Check it out!
Miss Heather
Sponsors Wanted: Robot Monkey Chimpionship
Dan, the man behind the robots writes (in regards to this post):
Guess who’s coming to Greenpoint on the 26th?! I attached the sponsorship info if you know of any wise individuals or businesses that want to sponsor a team. See you there, I hope. I owe you and your man so much for helping me last time. I’ll buy you drinks at the very least.
Mister Heather was a hero at the last event. He donated AA batteries and a screwdriver (or two) so as ensure the hilarity would proceed. And it did! We felt it was the right thing to do. It was a matter of Greenpoint pride.
And yet despite the Williamsburg Versus Greenpoint Robot Monkey Wars being heavily seeded in our favor, the Garden Spot still lost. But we did so with style, a prodigious use of profanity and an utter disregard for good sportsmanship. This made me proud. For this reason I am going to hustle the $50.00 necessary to make team NEW YORK SHITTY happen! I don’t care if we win or lose— I just want to give my good friends in Manhattan a few compelling reasons why they should stay on their side of the river.
Here’s how you, fellow Brooklynites, can too!
By clicking on the above image you should get a print quality image you can annotate and send to Dan “The Toy Man” Walker via email or snail mail. Both are indicated on the form.
See you Saturday.
Miss “Ready to Kick Some Manhattan Ass/Act Like a Sore Loser” Heather
LAST GASP: The Many Poses Of Ellie The Cat
Filed under: 11222, Crazy Cat Lady, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
I have long intended to write a post dedicated to Ellie, the winsome and very comely tabby who presides over the Polish American Bookstore. Since I have the time, wherewithal and bandwith to spare, I’ll do so here and now.
Last night as my husband, brother in law and I were headed to the Beaner Bar’s One Year Anniversary Fiesta* we— all being crazy cat people— paused in front of 648 Manhattan Avenue. Ellie was in the window. And being the exhibitionistic little minx she is; she noted our attention and gave us a show. Albeit with a hefty measure of coy indifference. Ellie IS a cat after all!
Kitty yoga. This must feel good because Ellie did it several times.
After a good workout it’s always wise to take a bath.
Ellie is very…
VERY…
thorough.
Although I love all furry critters— big and small— this is why I personally prefer cats over dogs**: cats don’t give a damn. Ellie knows she has an audience and she has decided said audience needs to watch her clean her pits.
Then she got bored with us and the owner of the store came out to close shop.
Me: She’s absolutely adorable. What’s her name again?
Owner: Ellie.
Me: You should leave a tip bucket out for her.
Owner: I’ve been considering leaving a sign in the window stating that people can come in and pet her for $5.00 a rub.
For those of you who are not in the know, the Polish American Bookstore has wonderful postcards (from Greenpoint, Nowy York!) and t-shirts (I <3 Greenpoint, among others). Most importantly it is the home of Ellie the cat. Why not swing by and give her a scratch or belly rub? Be advised certain fees may apply— so have your Lincolns handy!
Polish American Bookstore
648 Manhattan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Miss Heather
*Which did not disappoint. It was GREAT!
**Although both can lick their balls. I am convinced this is why our four-legged friends seem to be much happier than their human counterparts. And why humans are more productive, if less happy; one half of our species has nothing better to do.
New York Shitty Day Ender: The End Of An Era?
Champ writes:
Just noticed the “Hotel” sign is gone and there’s a fresh coat of paint on the front. Heard anything? Up for sale or perhaps just renovating? Hoping for the former!!
For those of you who are unaware, the Greenpoint Hotel recently exchanged hands. The word on the street is it will be converted into a rehab facility. Lucky us.
The Greenpoint Hotel is dead!
Long live the Greenpoint Hotel!
Miss Heather
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