Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
From The New York Shitty Photo Pool: A Very Special Street Couch
If you could reproduce her past, would you?
Miss Heather:
If you could touch this couch, would you?
Given the fact it hails from Astral I’d say the answer is HELL NO! But the Fictionalist did, Rowan 5 captured it on her camera and thus we have preserved for all posterity of the most interesting* street couches I have ever beheld. Great catch!
Miss Heather
*And fucked up. Who or what is this person keeping as a pet? Wolverines?!?
Williamsburg Photos Du Jour: Smile!
Filed under: Williamsburg
From Jackson Street.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Why?
Boy I have been pissed off a lot of late. At first I chalked it up to the lousy weather and allergies. Then the weather got better and my allergies abated— only to discover I was still pissed off. I have ceased to think much of it anymore; I have noticed damned near everyone else I have encountered in the Garden Spot lately is pissed off too. Who I am to buck the community Zeitgeist?
Now throw in some serious sleep deprivation due to:
- one of the most obnoxious neighbors you can imagine throwing a party for 20-30 of her equally obnoxious friends*
- crazy people screaming on my block at all hours of the night
- and one of our local watering holes deciding R & B music is best enjoyed at 2:00 – 2:30 a.m. LOUDLY.
and you get one very pissed off Miss Heather indeed!
Now add this to the mix…
and I am ready to blow! What is so rage-inducing about this kitten, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you.
As I was running errands yesterday afternoon I bumped into my buddy Lisacat who, as some of you might or might not know, does a great deal of animal rescue work. She was about to pop into a wine store on Nassau Avenue when I spotted her and her ubiquitous cardboard cat carrier and I asked her what was in the box. That’s when she showed me the above little fellow she rescued in East Williamsburg and something else:
Someone, for reasons only known to him, saw fit to shave him: ear hair, whiskers and all.
We eventually drifted onto the subject of what to name this handsome chap. Lisa suggested that since he has been shorn we name him after a famous bald person. I immediately thought of Ving Rhames, as just like in the movie Pulp Fiction this little guy has had an encounter with someone he would just as well forget (WARNING: previous link is very NSFW) and quite frankly, whoever that person is, I too would very much like to go medieval on his ass.
I will never for the life of me understand why people do shit like this. Really.
Miss Heather
*Luckily I have since learned this was a moving party. No more listening to this woman talk on her cell phone for hours on end— day or night— while sitting in her window and smoking skunkweed and no more excuses for the Mister to walk around the apartment with no clothes on. Hallelujah!
New York Shitty Day Ender: Street Eats
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
This bit of al fresco dining (which consists of four slices of white bread and a bottle of mineral water) hails from Eagle Street.
Miss Heather
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Two Weekends
This missive comes courtesy of the Mister via an email entitled “Good Morning”. Clearly for some G train patron brandishing a felt tip pen it was anything but.
Miss Heather
An East Williamsburg PSA
Filed under: Williamsburg
Depending on one’s take on the word “hunks” someone on Jackson Street likes— or dislikes— Tom Hanks.
A LOT.
Miss Heather
Audience Participation Time: The Ugliest Building In Brooklyn?
Ever since I posted the good news about the L Haus winning the #1 Ugliest Building in Queens my inbox (and incoming links) have been interesting to say the least.
Laura writes:
…regarding the ugliest building in Queens. Love it. Let’s do Greenpoint! Here’s my nominee, the one with the bulls eye. On memorial day my grandson was trying to shoot it with spit balls…
The building of which she speaks— 20 Bayard Street— is, unfortunately, located in Williamsburg. But Brooklyn11211 does a pretty good job of eviscerating it for the pile of shit it is. Halden volleyed the first proverbial spitball at this glass house. So to speak.
Now my buddy over in Queens has gotten into the swing of things. One commenter, Timothy, wrote:
There are some nasty McMansions near me that might qualify as Queens Fugliest. I think we should have a real contest!
I agree. We need a real contest. A Brooklyn versus Queens smack-down of fug infamy— or outer-borough barfchitecture. To this end I have created this flickr group and will get the ball rolling with my nominee: The Luminous.
This colossal pile of crap can be found on Richardson Street, Brooklyn 11222. It is the brain child of Karl Fischer Robert Scarano— who is all too eager to exploit “modification permits” when the mood (and/or money) suits him. The above (and strangely incongruous) brick facade was once a building. As you can see it has been given a new lease on life: the frontispiece and justification for this bigass pile of King’s crap! I for one am very fond of the beam left intact to support the adjacent buildings.
But this half-assed awning (which doesn’t even cover the entire doorway) comes in a close second.
Lovely. As I was taking the above photograph an old-timer painting his garage across the street asked:
Don’t you want to take my picture?
I replied:
Sure. I’d much rather take a photograph of you than that THING across the street.
So I did.
I might end up in the Greenpoint Gazette!
he said. I told him it was a distinct possibility— and that he might become a celebrity. He laughed heartily.
In any case this my inaugural piece of King’s crap to get this bi-borough rumble going.
Hear me, Crappy? Let’s get it on!
Miss Heather
East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Summer Time…
Filed under: Williamsburg
and the living’s easy at Caffe Capri!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Rattus Garden Spottus
From the Smith – 9th bound platform at Nassau Avenue.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: It’s Move In Day At 239 Banker Street!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
On May 31, 2009 Anonymous wrote:
i saw residents moving into the illegal, non-c-of-o, stop work ordered 239 Banker (neighbor of 259 Banker Street— better known as Studio B*— the edifice graced with the blue sidewalk shed in the background of the above photograph— Ed. Note) yesterday afternoon. Saw the Uhaul, asked the question myself. called in the complaint. they are advertising on C(raigs)L(ist):
Indeed they are! (To view a larger image click on the above jpg or any of the following jpgs.) What’s more, this hotel— oh, I mean loft— has its own web site! Here are some highlights:
Most importantly, no matter what time of day you come home, there will be a safe and cozy environment upon your return.
Hmm... this sounds kind of familiar. Wait— I remember— the Greenpoint Hotel has been advertising “safe and cozy” rooms for some time. Coincidence, you ask? Hardly: 239 Banker and the Greenpoint Hotel are both owned by my good buddy Max Stark! Let’s see what’s on the “Lofts” page, shall we?
From dinner parties to a quick fix after work, you’ll never be lacking space and functionality for your culinary excursions.
Heh, heh, heh… they said “fix”!
Ten minutes from the Bedford Avenue stop of the L? That’s kind of a stretch. But then again so is securing a permit from the Department of Buildings under the auspices of converting a manufacturing space into a “transient hotel”, offering two bedroom units for $2,100 a month in a building which— did I mention this already— has no Certificate of Occupancy?
Not that I really blame Max. If an illegal hostel can exist at 184 Eagle Street— for MONTHS— despite numerous complaints to the Department of Buildings why shouldn’t he get in on the fun?
But what would I know? My apartment building doesn’t have washer/dryer units on every floor. Maybe I should live in a hotel instead?
Miss Heather
UPDATE, June 2, 2009: After learning the very questionable legal status of 239 Banker Street Nicole has ceased to be the real estate agent for this property. No worries, now Liz is one the job…
and it would appear someone else is moving in.
*Whose rooftop terrace is still getting 311 complaints.
NYS Flickr Pool
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