Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
New York Shitty Day Ender: Much Ado About Edge
No, not that Edge, this one!
Anonymous writes:
Hi Miss Heather,
I enjoy reading your blog from time-to-time and especially appreciate the news on the developments around the neighborhood.
I’d like to share with you some information about a building on the Southside, in hopes that it can get out to others who deserve to know… So, here goes:
The building has a retail space in the bottom which is currently owned by the developer and being rented to a John Suarez, who is running it as a gym, called Cutting Edge.
Well, there are many problems here:
1) The space isn’t zoned to be a gym
2) He is occupying space in the basement and using it for classes and workout space when it is only supposed to be used as storage
3) There’s no proper emergency exit from the basement
4) He’s illegally (i.e., with no work permit) installing showers/bathrooms in the basementThe biggest problem of all is that John Suarez has been forbidden by the Attorney General to ever operate a gym. A few years back he had advertised the opening of a new gym in the neighborhood, called Core Health and Fitness. He never opened the gym, even after taking people’s money. He was ordered to pay back $172,000 in restitution, but I know for a fact (a neighbor was a victim of the scam) that people did not get their money back…
As you can see my anonymous friend has a lot to say. Let’s take a break for a moment and evaluate points 1-4.
1. The space isn’t zoned to be a gym
This is, in a manner of speaking, correct. You see, 117 South 3 Street has no Certificate of Occupancy on file. None. Zero. Zippo. Therefore, the fact this building is occupied at all— be it by tenants or businesses— is an issue. Then again (and this is where it get really interesting), this depends on which 117 South 3 Street you look up. You see, for some inexplicable reason this building has two Building Information Numbers (BINS): the latter has a Certificate of Occupancy on file. Not that it allows the basement to be used as a commercial space: it doesn’t.
Point numbers 2 & 3:
He is occupying space in the basement and using it for classes and workout space when it is only supposed to be used as storage… There’s no proper emergency exit from the basement…
Okay, I haven’t actually been in this building so I cannot verify this. Which brings me to to point number 4:
He’s illegally (i.e., with no work permit) installing showers/bathrooms in the basement.
Now this one I can prove! You see, the Department of Buildings paid 117 South 3 Street’s basement a visit last month.
In fact, it even netted him a Stop Work Order.
Not that this appears to have done much, mind you:
How this tale end? Will Mr. Suarez get caught— and if so, by who:
- the Department of Buildings?
- the office of the Attorney General?
- The Edge’s trademark infringement attorneys?
Or:
- have my tipster and my copyrighted material plagiarized by the New York Post? Flagrantly and without apology.
I suppose only time will tell. In the meantime, caveat emptor.
Miss Heather
P.S.: Those of you harboring any doubts as to whether or not John Suarez is behind this business (and is at large at 117 South 3 Street), Google the phone number on the below flier.
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Kindness Counts
Filed under: 11222, Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
It’s been a while since I have hit you up with some blue chip dog shit signage. Well, as it happened today I encountered quite a bounty whilest strolling down Greenpoint’s less-than-gold coast. Here they are.
Calyer Street
I find this one fascinating on a purely semiotic level. You have a dog shit sign made out of a photograph featuring yet another dog shit sign. It’s like an M.C. Escher painting— albeit one about crap.
Courtesy coupled with Orwellian overtones… I like it!
West Street
Over the years I have become quite the aficionado of this person’s work. He or she has been at for quite some time and although the copy varies a little, e.g.; the reader is usually addressed as “asshole”. The author always goes to the trouble to say thanks. Here’s a pair but goodies from the New York Shitty archives.
This one dates from March of this year. As you can see our dog shit vigilante exercises a great deal of resourcefulness when it comes to getting his (or her) message across. And in closing there is the following one, my personal favorite, which dates from April of 2006.
Who can argue with that?
Miss Heather
Bloomblight Photos Du Jour: Built For Collapse
95 Bedford Avenue
250 North 10 Street
568 Union Avenue
It would appear the invocation of “watchmen” didn’t quite work as intended.
Miss Heather
Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: Red & Blue
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Blue bike with Cookie Monster a la Manhattan Avenue…
meet red bike with catsup on Driggs.
Miss Heather
P.S.: As you have probably noticed, dear readers, I have taken to posting later than usual lately. This is because my computer happens to be located in the warmest room of my humble apartment. You can anticipate more postage later today— but for time being I am off to beat the heat!
New York Shitty Day Ender: Armed Robbery On Jewel Street?
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic
As the lack of postage today probably suggests, today I kicked back and took it easy. I am glad I did, because it helped to be well rested while reading the following email (entitled “Mugging with guns alert in Greenpoint”). Its contents are pretty disturbing:
My friend just sent me this email today, I thought to forward it to you as a public announcement. Amanda, my friend and neighbor, and I live on Jewel Street, between Meserole and Norman.
Thanks,
(excised)…
Yikes!
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: DIY
The junk shop gets a number of interesting items— and although I try to refrain from posting a great many of them I couldn’t resist sharing this homemade Spuds MacKenzie doll.
If my memory serves me correctly this canine had a taste for Stroh’s. But hey, this is Greenpoint: Garden Spotters prefer tall boys.
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Starter: Shut Up
Free Masonry in effect or a case simple vandalism? I’ll leave it up to you, dear readers— but it should be noted this missive was found at North 13 Street!
Miss Heather
New York Shitty Day Ender: People In My Neighborhood, Dog Days
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn
Nassau Avenue
Norman Avenue
Driggs Avenue
Not everyone has benefited from the luxurification along the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. Take this man tired after collecting cans resting under it, for example.
On a more “up” note, I encountered this young man on Greenpoint Avenue. This gent, Jared, was headed over to Van Gogh’s Radio to hang his art work. You can read more about him here. (Click this link— you know you want to!)
This gaggle of Greenpointers hail from Kent Street. I do not know the woman to the right. I want to: she is always dressed to the nines and has a knack for color coordination.
In weather such as this it is always good to wear a hat, like this woman in front of Cafecito Bogota.
One need not sacrifice style to beat the heat. The woman clad in the striped blouse always sports red lipstick to match her cap. She knows how to coordinate: her outfits are always painstakingly coordinated with her sneakers. Madison Avenue meet Manhattan Avenue: where natty practicality rules!
I’m not too sure what this guy is doing. But he’s doing it in the middle of Manhattan Avenue— and no one seems to mind.
Bedbug King, meet the Mayor of India Street and Manhattan Avenue!
And lastly, my favorite Manhattan Avenue dude: Ziiggyy. The previous is no typo. That’s his name! He didn’t know what to make of me at first— in fact he was suspicious.
I asked:
Can I take a picture of your guitar?
To wit he replied:
Only if you give me $1,000.
If I had $1,000 I’d keep $500 and give the other $500 to you!
I replied. He laughed. The ice being broken, we talked shop while he shopped for a new pair of sunglasses— a task which he saw fit to enlist my assistance. I gladly obliged. The blue sunglasses didn’t suit Ziiggyy so we searched for an alternative. And talked about life— and sunglasses.
Me: So you don’t like the blue ones. Why?
Zig (for short): I don’t like them. They just aren’t right for me.
Me: So you want glasses with rims?
(Zig sorts through the glasses, puts on a green pair— replete with green lenses.)
Zig: I like these but who wants to see the world green?
Me: There’s a reason for the term “seeing the world in rose-colored glasses”. This is Greenpoint— green lenses aren’t going to make it look any better. Only worse. What about this purple pair?
Zig: But they’re rimless— you said we should look for rimmed glasses!
Me: Yeah, but I think these might just be it.
Zig: (trying them on) They do match my shirt…
Me: And your earring, that’s amethyst right?
Zig: That’s my birthstone!
Me: So you were born in February? I was born in January!
(high five)
Long story made short, Ziiggyy bought the glasses. Upon parting ways I said:
I consider myself to be very lucky to have met you.
To wit he replied:
I do not believe in luck. To believe in luck is to believe in good luck and bad luck. I believe in God’s will. That’ why I do not worry (about luck): it’s out of my hands. I’m happy.
Me (stunned):
Well, thank you for humoring me.
Ziiggyy:
That’s what I do: humor people. Make them laugh, make them cry and…
Me:
make them think!
He nodded in agreement and we parted ways. You can learn more about Ziiggyy and his guitar by clicking here.
Miss Heather
P.S.: This post is for all the “Ziiggyys” in the world. We need you.
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