Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Williamsburg Video Du Jour: Sunday Afternoon On Manhattan Avenue
Today’s example of developer blight comes courtesy of a smallish lot on Manhattan Avenue just north of Grand Street. What initially caught my eye was the “gate” to this site gently listing back and forth in the breeze. Having had a considerable amount of experience with illegal weekend construction I figured there would be workers busy hammering, sawing and riveting. As you will see this ended up not being the case.
Public safety hazard or a new jungle gym for neighborhood youth? I’ll leave you to draw your own conclusions.
Miss Heather
Williamspoint Photos Du Jour: More Naughty Bits
Nassau Avenue
Metropolitan Avenue
There’s nothing in the world quite like north Brooklyn in the springtime.
Miss Heather
Found On The Southside
Whenever I want to see something that makes me scratch my head and wonder:
What the fuck?
I head over to the Southside. It is not my intent to sound like I putting this great neighborhood down: nothing could be further from the truth. Of all the neighborhoods in all of Brooklyn only this bit of 11211 straddling the BQE even comes close to some of the oddities I find here in Greenpoint. And on that note follows is something I encountered at the junction of Borinquen Place, South 1st Street and Grand Street recently. I would presume it to be an art work of some kind. Or some hitherto unknown pagan deity. Who knows? Life is mysterious.
Here is a view of its head. If you ask me it resembles Homer Simpson crossed with Mr. Peanut.* On acid.
Here is a frontal view. As you can see our little fella has rather protuberant buttocks. Astroturf appears to have been employed as well. Speaking as someone who once was both a teaching fellow and teaching assistant I have to admit nothing like this ever found its way into my classroom. It’s a shame, really. Had some fresh-faced student proffered up something like this I probably would have had a lot more interest in teaching. So it goes.
In any case if this item tickles your fancy (or you’re looking for a gift for that hard-to-shop-for person) better get down there fast. I doubt this urban artifact will be without a home for long.
Miss Heather
*And bears more than a passing resemblance to the following, which is located on Metropolitan Avenue.
The Color Of Living Well
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
(Or: Reader Request Of The Week)
On Friday, April 3, 2009 Richard wrote:
I saw your blog covering all the crappy new construction going up in the city. Could you do a follow-up post with photos that really indicate how poorly these buildings are constructed? I want to see dented garage doors, rust, light fixtures falling off of buildings constructed within the last 10 years. I am no longer local to NYC but I am scavenging the internet in an attempt to gather these kind of images for a project I am working on.
Thanks
I’ll be perfectly frank: ordinarily I bristle at this kind of request. I am the editrix of New York Shitty and in that capacity I determine what gets published and when. What’s more, I am lazy. However when one lives in close proximity to Greenpoint’s favorite “nondo”, The Viridian, finding suitable material for this gentleman’s project is easy enough. Hell, I can knock that out while grabbing a gallon of milk.
First off, even I have to grudgingly concede that Magic Johnson’s funky bunch have done a pretty decent job of making the facade of this building look like it was professionally built and not knocked out by Travis the Chimp. I strongly suspect the fact that I have made light of the lack of quality workmanship on this colossus on more than one occasion probably has something to do with this development. I also imagine one (or two) of their more astute marketing professionals finally deduced that having haphazard hunks of sheet metal hanging in plain view of interested clients coming and going from their sales office may not be conducive to drumming up business. I hope whoever had this startling revelation was compensated generously for his (or her) efforts. But I digress.
Although the front end of the Viridian is looking by all accounts okay (or at least as palatable as possible) nowadays I regret to inform my new friend Richard that the “back end” of this structure (located on Huron Street), well, looks like ass.
The above photograph does not do this craptastic craftsmanship justice. Therefore I decided to shoot a little live footage. Enjoy!
Thank you Richard for putting the fire under my ass to follow-up on my affection for poorly constructed crap. Not only do I think this specimen will “jibe” wonderfully with your project but it gave me some much-needed amusement. How did this come to pass, you ask? Very simple: they’re asking $2,900 a month rent for a two bedroom in this turd.
Ha.
Ha.
Ha.
Miss Heather
Photo Credit: Frontal shot of the Viridian comes courtesy of Kitchen Prof.
Crosstown Local Photo Du Jour: Total Consciousness
In all my years of patronizing the G train I have seen a lot of shit. You name it and chances are I’ve probably seen, heard, touched, smelled— and yes— tasted it at some time or another. For better or worse, the Crosstown Local is a feast for all five senses— and probably a few more. I have grown to accept this fact and find it quite endearing to be perfectly frank. The previous having been said once in a very blue moon I will encounter something that confounds even me. Tonight I had one such experience.
To truly appreciate this product of enlightened thought* click on the above image and peruse a larger photograph of the rather amazing revelation some anonymous (but very talented nonetheless) subway goer had while waiting for the “Gee, where the hell is it?” train. I’m guessing he (or she) had a lot of time on her hands to execute a master work of this caliber. This is hardly surprising.
I suppose you could also head to the Smith – 9th bound platform at Greenpoint Avenue and see it in person. Whichever best suits your time/space equilibrium. Either way it is time (and/or a Metrocard swipe) well spent.
Gunga Galunga…
Miss Heather
*And given the fact this missive is on an advertisement for Dunkin Donuts, probably some blue chip sensimilla.
New York Shitty Day Ender: Al Fresco Living
Driggs Avenue
Maspeth Avenue
South 1st Street
Ainslie Street
Metropolitan Avenue
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Metropolitan Avenue
Another day, another tree twat. That’s life in the wacky 11211 for ya!
Miss Heather
New & Noteworthy: Pink Crack Kills
I have long been of the opinion that the very special place that is Bushwick is sorely under-represented in the Brooklyn blogosphere. Needless to say when I received the following email I was tickled pink to learn the good news about Pink Crack Kills:
I like your blog about shit. I know that you stray to other topics, which is important, but the underlying thread that really makes the posts a part of a bigger whole is shit, and that’s good. I too, have a blog that deals with Brooklyn’s unsanitary side. It’s really the web presence for a zine that I, along with a few friends, publish a few times a year, but one of our favorite topics is used condoms on the streets of NYC. The vast majority of these come from Bushwick because I live there and I’m pretty sure we have more used condoms per capita than any other neighborhood in the 5 boroughs. My eyes however, are always open and my camera always ready, so Williamsburg and the ever-elusive Manhattan street condom show up whenever I see them… So I guess what I’m trying to say is check us out.
Jonathan W. Smith, C.E.O. pinkcrackkills.com
Check them out I did. Not only did I find some of the promised used prophylactics but gems such as the photograph gracing the beginning of this post were also awaiting my delectation. Congratulations Bushwick, you have finally gotten the web presence you so richly deserve. Check it out!
Miss Heather
Dog Doo Sign Du Jour: Have Sharpie, Will Travel
Although this is not a sign per se, I have to confess that I like this person’s moxie. This missive a la Sharpie Marker hails from Franklin Street just north of Bushwick Inlet. A locality that anyone Greenpointer worth his (or her) salt will attest is a rather popular place for errant pet owners to leave their dog bombs. Well done, dog shit vigilante!
Miss Heather
NYS Flickr Pool
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