Divine Dog Shit Intervention: Bushwick Style

Churches give me the creeps. The tradition in many faiths is religion runs along matriarchal lines. My father is an avowed atheist, my mother was raised Methodist. My grandmother (my mother’s mother) tried to inculcate the Calvinist vision into my person.

It failed miserably. Probably because I do want to slave for a salvation I will probably not achieve. If god has already elected his own why should I bother? Besides, the Sunday School classes were downright stupid.*

In the spirit of good faith (and acknowledging the arguments set forth on both sides)— I reached a moral compromise: agnostic. But when I witnessed what I saw on George Street yesterday it made my agnosticism shudder with self-loathing Calvinistic doubt.

This is the Cathedral of Joy. It may not look very joyous but it is indeed a church and its mission is to save souls…

and fight dog shit.

This is a church. Have some respect for the house of the Lord. Please (unintelligible) or curb your dog. Thank you.

I found two turds and a pair of pink panties in front of this establishment. Across the street was another matter.

Thirteen turds. One for each apostle plus one. A veritable Last Supper of dog shit (Judas Iscariot included)!

My conclusion: the fear of/hand of god is motivating dog owners to take their shit elsewhere. Unfortunately in this case it is across the street.

But it is a start!

Perhaps the City of New York will take heed of this novel tactic?

Miss Heather

*Although it could arguably be good job training for corporate shills: rote memorization and repetition. Methodism makes for good stenographers. Regurgitating what has been said accurately without the onus of knowing what it means. No disrepect to stenographers. You work harder than Methodists do.