Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Baltika 7

From Manhattan Avenue.

Miss Heather

Welcome To Brooklyn, Welcome To Life

Those of you who want to see one of the most novel uses of a construction fence I have ever seen, head over Huron just east of West Street.

There you will find nine separate panels. Each has the same character, albeit saying slightly different things (click on the above image and read for yourself). A few panels are indecipherable but the message comes across loud and clear.

Birth announcement a la construction fence. If any of you are wondering what is slated to be built at this site, it will be a six story apartment building. Obviously they are in the process of demolition— or should I say were? 160 West Street was served with a Stop Order last month. Not that there is a Stop Work Order to be found on this fence, mind you. Someone was thoughtful enough to remove it.

Welcome to life in Brooklyn Greenpoint.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Don’t Believe The Hype

Thanks to the alarmist article published by am New York today, the guys at Alphabeta have had the pleasure of hosting not one, but TWO television crews. The latter, from WNBC, made sure to interview some neighborhood youngsters before departing. Amusingly enough they didn’t seem the least bit interested in asking me, a boring old grown-up, what I thought. Go figure.

Those of you who have not read this article, please do so. Among other things you will learn that Peter Vallone Jr. (who does not even represent our district) has set his sights on this store and a graffiti artist is described as using spray paint “outside” Alphabeta. While this statement is technically true, it is also incredibly deceptive: the gentleman in questions was using spray paint ON THE PREMISES behind said store.

What’s the difference, you ask? Very simple: the wording of the am New York article insinuates that this gentleman is painting someone else’s property, e.g.; he is committing a crime. Sorry to disappoint all the folks who were put in a dither by this misleading statement, painting one’s own walls is not against the law— and if it ever is, we’ll probably be kissing many more of our civil liberties goodbye. I don’t know about you, but that is not the kind of world I want to live in.

Speaking for myself, I fail to see what the issue is. If someone is going to use spray paint for illegal purposes, (like this delightful example from the St. Alphonsus School I shot today)

…they are going to do it— and I seriously doubt Alphabeta is going to be the either the instigator or enabler*. In fact, by providing a space for artists to create and show their work, this establishment might actually be part of the solution, not the problem. Seriously. The fact this piece of rubbish is supposed to pass as “news” absolutely boggles my mind. It sounds more like a politician doing a little rabble rousing in the hopes of getting some free publicity to me.

Miss Heather

*Back in 1996 I knew a guy who “accidentally” got a pencil stuck up his ass. I was even there when the emergency room doctor asked him how it got there, which was sort of uncomfortable. Does this mean we should go after the business who sold this chap said pencil? If you follow Mr. Vallone’s line of “reasoning”, the answer would be yes.

Greenpoint Fireworks

Friday is July 4th, a time of celebration, fireworks, barbecuing and beer. Getting ready for said festivities is scarcely as, well, festive. In addition to my usual routine this week I have been hastily prepping the apartment for visitors who are unacquainted with the usual “state” of Chez Shitty: total and utter chaos. And I wish to keep it that way.

Therefore, out of sheer laziness I am going to bring back one of my favorite stories about Greenpoint and fireworks. I originally posted it back in March of 2007, but some stories are simply too good (and by that I mean, too Greenpoint) to get old. Enjoy!

For reasons I will go into another time, I have been spending a lot of time researching Greenpoint history of late. As I parsed through page upon page of old newspapers, I came to the realization that this neighborhood has not changed much over the last 150+ years. Greenpoint is a strange place; its inhabitants are even stranger. Yet, by the grace of god, not much in the way of serious criminal activity goes down here. But when something does happen, you can bet your bottom dollar:

1. It will be a doozy.
2. Alcohol consumption and/or arson will be involved.

Take the following gem of a crime blotter entry I found recently from the Brooklyn Daily Eagle:

Arrested on suspicion is not a satisfactory explanation to Miss Heather. I needed closure and I wouldn’t rest goddammit until got it. I did: courtesy of the “Brooklyn Intelligence” section of New York Times published the same day!

Not only does Mr. Wendt deserve induction into the Best Friend EVER Hall of Fame (if there is such a place), but this has got to be one of the most inspired acts of revenge against a former employer I have ever read. Someone should make a buddy movie based off this tale. I think Will Ferrell has the acting chops to depict Uriah Hoare with dignity and respect he so richly deserves.

Uriah Hoare, on the behalf of everyone who has ever wanted to rip their (ex) boss a new asshole, I salute you.

Miss Heather