Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
Word Of The Day: Crapification
Filed under: Williamsburg
Crapification (crap’-if-fic-ka-shen) n. Restoration of a deteriorated but otherwise tasteful old building with a total disregard for aesthetics and/or context. —crap’-i-fy’ v. (ified, fying, -fies) See: the building at the southeastern corner of Penn Street and Harrison Avenue in Williamsburg
Could someone please explain to me why someone would do this?
Seriously, I really want to know.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint To Get More Fingers?
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Earlier this week I received the following email from Lisacat. She writes:
I just heard this from my landlord who heard it from Millie the crossing guard who heard it at mass this morning. The convent, brothers house on the corner of N. Henry and the caretaker’s house on Richardson are all uninhabited now. I sure hope diocese isn’t going to sell-out to developers… such great old buildings.
This is one of the previously mentioned properties: the Brothers’ House. It can be found at the corner of North Henry and Richardson Street. If (or more likely, WHEN) this building is razed to construct some over-sized and completely out of context piece of garbage, what do you think the finished product will look like?
Will they retain the facade and build a finger behind it like Karl Fischer did with the Luminous?
Will it be razed to build a(nother) Fedders Special like this…
or this on Monitor Street?
Or will they go all fancy on us and employ a two-tone brick scheme like this beauty on Meeker?
Nice balconies.
In any case, I think I can assert one thing for certain. By the time all the (over) development dies down Greenpoint will probably have enough fingers to make a fist!
Miss Heather
Williamsburg Photo du Jour: Temporary
Filed under: Williamsburg
From North 10th Street.
Miss Heather
A Match Made In Heaven
I found this single breast on Bedford Avenue on Tuesday. Is it just me, but it sure looks lonely sitting there next to a discarded water bottle.
Perhaps this solitary woman’s naughty bit should roll over to Manhattan Avenue in Greenpoint? There is a chartreuse monobra there that would love to make its acquaintance. It just goes to show what the old truism is indeed true: there’s someone for everybody!
Miss Heather
Spreadin’ The Love: Greenpoint Style
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I happened upon this missive (which is scrawled on the side of a warehouse in Williamsburg) while walking home from what was, in my humble opinion, THE BEST FRANK SINATRA BLOCK PARTY KNOWN TO MANKIND. Spreading the love.
While not as “touchy feely” as our friends to the south, Greenpoint does indeed sport its own special brand of “love”. And like so much sewage discharged into Newtown Creek on a rainy day, Greenpoint’s cup of love for our fellow man overflowth. Usually with a little assistance from paint pen or can of spray paint.
Who do we Greenpointers love, you ask? Damned near everyone. With a few notable exceptions of course.
Huron Street
We don’t love the police, for starters.
Newel Street
That goes double if they happen to hail from Queens. We really don’t like them.
Diamond Street
“Polocks”? Don’t like ’em.
Russell Street
“John” isn’t too popular either.
Manhattan Avenue
If you happen to be Hispanic, wealthy and gay, Greenpoint is not the place to be. Wait, scratch that. We like them. Sorry about that— it’s getting hard to keep track of all this Greenpoint “love” I am experiencing.
McGuinness Boulevard
It’s nothing personal, mind you.
Some people are just assholes.
In all seriousness folks, life is hard enough as is. Taking the time to write racist, sexist and homophobic remarks— even seemingly funny ones— on public property does not help matters. If I had one thing to say to these people it would be this:
Why not try being nice to people for a change?
Not only does this cost not so much as a dime, but everyone benefits.
Even assholes.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Franklin Street
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
I agree with this guy. Springtime in New York City is one of the most wonderful things known to man. Period.
Miss Heather
Old Blue Eyes
As you might have noticed today’s offerings on New York Shitty have been a bit lite. There are two reasons for this:
- I am not feeling very motivated today.
- I received the following email from a tipster.
D writes:
If you can, you need to go document this. My husband is IM-ing me about it and I am stuck at work — Joe Bagels is this neighborhood character who has his own labelled director’s chair outside of La Piazzetta, the Italian place across from Daddy’s on Graham. He also apparently is the owner of the “Queens Typewriter/ Fax Lazer Printer” store that is on Graham south of La Piazetta towards Metropolitan — it’s next to Emily’s Pork Store. Queens Typewriter is the most obvious front business I have ever seen, and I was thrilled when I found out Joe Bagels owns it (Joe Bagels, btw, is… around 50 years old, has snow white hair in a ponytail and a matching handlebar mustache and drives around in a red Corvette. ) And he is hosting this Frank Sinatra tribute RIGHT NOW and ALL DAY and there is a big banner over Graham Avenue. Oh, you have to go!
Also I have been meaning to write you about the conversation I had with the Rat Man 2 weeks ago! I will soon.
Needless to say I high tailed my ass outta Greenpoint and got to Graham Avenue without delay. Words fail to describe my experience. Thankfully I got a nice chunk of footage of the festivities in full swing to bear witness to the sheer glory I beheld. Enjoy!
If any of you have the means* do check out this event. It started at 9:00 a.m. and will be going on all day. You will not regret it!
Miss Heather
*Or not. Tell your boss to go fuck him (or her) self and go to this. NOW. I command you.
NOTE: It has been brought to my attention that “Joe Bagels” does not own Queens Typewriter (see comments).
Black Water
Filed under: Williamsburg
Black water.
The above two words usually invoke one of two images in the American collective consciousness:
- Mercenaries to fight our wars, e.g.; Blackwater
- Horror movies to assuage our guilt/anxiety (regarding aforementioned wars), e.g.; Black Water.
Not me.
I’m a Greenpoint gal. When I speak of black water I mean just that. Black. Water.
Yesterday I patronized the women’s “comfort station” at La Guardia Park. My experience was hardly comforting. It was confusing, downright disturbing and involved (guess what?) black water.
Let’s approach the above missive from a logical stand point. The purpose of pressing said “button” is to make “the toilet water come out”. Water is necessary to flush your dirty deeds elsewhere. Why would one not want the toilet water to come out? Being the altruistic person I am I ran a field test of said shitter to see what gives.
CONCLUSION: inasmuch as some would like to “luxurify” the “Southside” the infrastructure (still) sucks ass. No one, be they rich or poor, should have to dodge shit juice to do what nature necessitates. This is friggin’ nasty.
Miss Heather
In Other News…
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Casa Mon Amour was shuttered by the Health Department this weekend. Per the notice posted in the window this establishment was “operating without a permit”. I suspect I speak for many when I wish Beatrice godspeed in ironing out her paperwork woes with our fine city.
Miss Heather
News On The Public Bathroom Front!
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Last night I attended the Steering Committee meeting for Transmitter Park. There is little in the way of news to report other than we’re going to try to get someone from the Parks Department to give us a presentation of the revised park plan (which is slated to roll out next month) and yours truly is acting co-chair of said committee.
The one nugget of newsworthiness from this gathering came from Mike Hofmann of GWAPP. It doesn’t pertain to Transmitter, but the Greenpoint Playground on Dupont Street. This park used to have public lavatories. When the sludge tank was installed the water lines were cut (to these privies) so they were removed. Per Mr. Hofmann, $850,000 has been secured to install some high-tech replacements! These comfort stations will be “modular” —in other words more can be added later if the uh, need, arises and are to be built at the Brooklyn Navy Yard!
I do not know about you, but speaking as someone who lives in north Greenpoint I find this to be a tremendous relief. In more ways than one.
Miss Heather
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