Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Quicklink: WTF???
Filed under: 11211, Asshole, Criminal Activity, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn, Wow, WTF
Your eyes are not deceiving you. You can read the whole gruesome story by clicking here. A few thoughts/observations:
- As it would happen, I know where this grisly find was made: North 10 Street between Wythe and Kent Avenue. The above photo was taken June 24th. You can see the Wythe Hotel in the background. It appears to be a homeless encampment and it has been here for some time. (Think: at least a month.) When one thinks about it, that makes this despicable act even more despicable: in addition to animal cruelty, the miscreant responsible for this had to leave his (?) “gift” in someone’s “home”. Being homeless is bad enough in and of itself. Really folks.
- Where these alligator parts were found is very close to the Bushwick Inlet Park Soccer Field. Where, some of you might recall, someone saw fit to hang the body of a dead cat to the goal post recently.
Is this the handiwork of the same person? Whose to say? Personally, I hope it is because the thought of two people engaging in this kind of behavior makes my blood boil. In any case it is sick as hell and I hope the authorities catch the person(s) responsible.
The Word On The Street: “As Is”
This guano-enhanced sofa hails from Knickerbocker Avenue. Any takers?
New York Shitty Video Du Jour: North 10 Street
Filed under: 11211, Planet Entitlement, Williamsburg, Williamsburg Brooklyn, Wow, WTF
A fallen tree proves to be a getting back to nature cum video opportunity.
(Taken June 18, 2013.)
Coming At You From The Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch…
Where Kayaks Probably Ain’t The Only Things Being Launched…
I had some trepidation about posting this. However, I reconsidered my stance when I thought about the MTA’s exhortation to its patrons:
If you see something, say something.
Well, Saturday night the Mister and I saw something. Now I’m saying something.
Our Saturday night started as many do: a lively debate about dinner. Such things happen between a vegetarian and recalcitrant carnivore. It took some time, but this matter was settled. Afterward the Mister wanted to visit the Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory— because he needed a strawberry malt. Alas, we were six minutes too late: 9:06 p.m. I suggested we swing by the Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch so as to view the aftermath of this insanity. He agreed. That’s when we saw the above bus. We found this curious.
We proceeded to the park proper. NOTE: I am using photos taken the next day so as to better illustrate my story. If I was psychic, I would have had my camera ready and pointed. Hell, if I was psychic I’d be playing the lotto as opposed to operating this site. But alas I am not. So here we go.
This is the Manhattan Avenue Kayak Launch.
This is fence which was damaged by an aspiring U-boat. WOW.
1. Indicates where a trio of park goers were sitting and sipping coolattas Saturday night.
2. Indicates where the Mister and I were standing.
The Coolatta sippers inquired as to why this fence was in a state of disrepair. I told them. A lively discussion ensued. Then something really weird happened.
The bus driver charged with said bus exited the Kayak Launch with a female companion. We were all perplexed by this. We saw neither hide nor hair of either of them. We said nothing.
Me (to the Mister): She’s eating Mentos. “The Fresh Maker”. I think he just got a blowjob.
The Mister (to me): I think you’re right.
The bus driver parted ways with his female companion and commenced his rounds. I later saw him on Manhattan Avenue. I was tempted to shout:
How was the blowjob?!?
But bus drivers— especially those of the B43— get enough shit already. Let’s just say I’ll be watching the Kayak Launch more closely now— and you should too. Lest you are wondering, gentle readers, this kind of thing is not unknown here. Case in point.
PHOTO CREDITS/HAT TIP: to The Duncan Daily for the image at left.
UPDATE, June 17, 2013: A fellow named Dave writes;
as an aside – I was walking home along Manhattan Ave on Saturday night, and popped into the deli on the corner of Manhattan and Nassau. As I was inside, a bus screeched to a halt outside. The driver jumped out of the bus, ran into the deli and loudly asked the purveyor – “Hey, you got Mentos? …as i was leaving the deli, he held up a packet of mentos, and, looking to someone on board the bus asked “this ok?”
Urban Artifact: 23rd Street
Filed under: 11101, Advanced Life Forms, Long Island City, Long Island City Queens, Stuff That Makes Miss Heather Happy, Urban Artifact, Wow, WTF
Me to the Mister* upon discovering this exotic and most unexpected item:
Behold, a sacred relic of the Cherohonkee tribe!
This one’s for you, Pa Heather.
*Who I would like take a moment to thank. Had there not been some, um, confusion between Queensbridge and Queensboro Plaza on his part— and I was not feeling like a bigger jackass than usual and decided to let him learn the hard way— we would not have needed to walk down this thoroughfare so as to catch the B62. I served as the Mister’s guide through this “uncharted territory”. Most of this was done in silence for reasons I think need no explanation—but I digress. Had we not walked down this street, we would not have happened upon this most exceptional urban artifact (which I have determined to be a “shamanistic shit stick” of the Cherohonkee tribe which is a member of the Trustifarian Nation).
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Sans Wheels On Green Street
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF
A fellow we’ll call “B” writes today, June 14, 2013:
…here is a photo of my future brother in law’s car that was parked on Green and Franklin. My friend… saw the robbery said it was 2 younger people wearing hoodies. It was 5:15 AM on May 24th. My friend called the 94th and explained that he was watching the robbery take place but they only asked him why he called them and not 911. I really want to know why that happened? Why couldn’t they respond and clean up their streets a little. Seems like they would have wanted to go there and nab these bastards. We were really upset when we woke up and saw the tires were gone but I was even more upset when I found out the precinct turned their heads. Very disappointing.
Word on the street/the Greenpoint grapevine (which, on occasion, can prove to be QUITE reliable) has it that yet another automobile divested of its wheels was spied around Eagle and Franklin Street last night. WTF?
East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Ingraham Street
Filed under: 11206, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Urban Artifact, WTF
I am 99% sure you all can figure out what is going on here— but for the 1% who cannot not: this is a stationary bicycle chained to a street sign so as to presumably prevent its theft. There are many unanswered questions this brings to mind. I will refrain from sharing them here. *However, I will remind everyone— once again— that this being a stationary bike it is highly unlikely any aspiring thief is exactly going to make a quick getaway on it.
*With one exception: Why can’t Citibike implement stationary bike station?
Spotted On Manhattan Avenue: Spider Man
Filed under: 11222, Criminal Activity, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Hooliganism, Newtown Creek, Wow, WTF
If these images (which a lady named Lisa was kind enough to bring to my attention) are any indication, it was a lively evening in the Garden Spot last night. My tipster kicks the party off as follows:
So…as we’re leaving (a) party… I see fucking Spiderman scaling a building, out of costume, on Manhattan ave. SPIDEY, YOU’RE DRUNK, GO HOME!
We first see him climbing up the fire escape ladder and assume, OK, he made it, he’s home. Not so much…
There were, of course, extensive comments on what would be happening if he was not Caucasian…
Spidey proceeds to move behind the staircase and onto the ledge, AROUND THE AC UNIT – nice effing moves – and works his way to the next building
I moved to video, showing poor judgement as it was too dark, so I did not get pics of the rest. Spidey moved to the next building where we thought “no way, that window has child guards on it, he can’t get in there,” but we were wrong…he opened the window and climbed OVER the child guards, OVER THE CHILD GUARDS, through the window, where he was welcomed with cheers from a party. THIS WAS AWESOME! I should post the video just for the Stephanie and Jerry show commentary, but I won’t. But this shit was funny. Damn. Jerry, did anyone believe you when you got back? Here is our proof!
A few thoughts:
- Given there have been a number of break-ins hereabouts wherein the thieves accessed the apartment(s) in question via the fire escape, this fellow is lucky no one called the police.
- He’s doubly lucky he didn’t fall and seriously hurt himself. I’d say he was tempting fate— and subsequent notoriety courtesy of the New York Post— in a big, big way.
- Greenpoint is becoming more and more like the East Village/Lower East Side every day. God help us.
UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that this morning someone in a BMW drove off Manhattan Avenue, presumably via the Kayak Launch, and into Newtown Creek. Wow. Just wow. You can read Gothamist’s take on this bizarre turn of event by clicking here.
From The New York Shitty Inbox: A Dispatch From Frost Street
Filed under: 11211, Crazy People, Criminal Activity, East Williamsburg, East Williamsburg Brooklyn, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Hooliganism, Wow, WTF
I am certain a number of folks reading this tome are familiar with the item Gothamist posted recently about an attorney having what can be best described as an alcohol-fueled melt-down in Williamsburg. Those of you who are not in the know can become so by clicking here.
In any case, I found the incident downright uncanny as something very similar happened— also in Williamsburg— twenty four hours later. A doppelganger, if you will. I’m guessing the 94th had a very busy weekend— but I digress. My tipster writes on Sunday, June 2nd:
It isn’t Even hot yet and people are nuts. Whackjob… flipped out cross the street last night. 30’s white dude with braided bracelets was kicking and punch the shit out of somebody elses car. Then lays down on the sidewalk crying. Hell-o 94th! Sad, nobody loves him and he is mad about it. Really nice young Polish cop came. I liked seeing a cop in his own hood.
As it was explained to me by another witness this fellow managed to inflict several thousand dollars worth of damage to this defenseless motor vehicle before passing out on the sidewalk. And passed out on the sidewalk he conveniently remained until our Finest arrived. Upon being awakened next to his “handiwork”— I want to make this perfectly clear— this chap apparently had enough wits about him to deny any wrong-doing.
Yup. Methinks we’re in for an interesting summer north Brooklyn. On a related note, this evening the monthly meeting of the 94th Precinct Community Council will come to pass at the Church of Ascension’s Parish Hall. NOTE: this will be the last meeting until September.
94th Precinct Community Council Meeting
June 5, 2013 starting at 7:00 p.m.
Church of the Ascension’s Auditorium
122 Java Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Cheers!
From The New York Shitty Inbox: Greetings From 239 Banker Street— Once Again
Filed under: 11222, Gentrification, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Wow, WTF
Some of you might recall that I recently received a piece of correspondence from an individual who called this place home. He/she was none too happy about it too. This is why he/she was moving out. As you can imagine, gentle readers, I had a number of questions for this person. 
Today I am pleased to announce I not only got some answers— but some visuals to accompany them! One is the charming image at right. But I am getting ahead of myself— without further ado, here we go! NOTE: I have excised some material so as to preserve some semblance of anonymity for the parties involved.
Hi Heather, I stupidly did not take any photos of the piss/shit fiasco- I opened the camera to do it but immediately thought “no- this is fucking vile! I’m leaving” and the SMELL! yikes I’m out of there now, but I came to live there because I was moving back to NYC (had been in SF for a year) and my friend who I was looking for a place with had said “hey, I found this spot in Greenpoint with two rooms open”… I went with it… I have some more photos ill send over as well. sorry for so many emails but I can’t attach via the mail app and have no computer access for a couple days. Also made a clip, hope it helps to convey the space better.
…so these first two are the bathroom tub and what is almost certainly mold growing- along w/ Shitpissgate (Apparently the first floor of this building had to be vacated after Hurricane Sandy due to flooding— this included a back-up of raw sewage. Yummy. — Ed. Note), there was an incident with the bathtub backing up dirty water full of black specks up to the brim (last photo- however it only depicts minimal drain, it was a photo I took to send to the super in a “THIS STILL EXISTS HOURS LATER”! message)
the third is the wood rising up after Shitpissgate, and the fourth is an example of all the arbitrary holes in the deplorable re-flooring job.
Now let’s proceed to the “bedroom”, shall we?
Yeah, the photos do not do much to describe this space. As the video footage makes all too clear: this is because there isn’t really much space to describe!
I know what you’re thinking:
How much does such a
closetroom cost?
Well, prepare to be amazed. I certainly was.
$925. And the bigger rooms (slightly, but you know as well as I do how sometimes that extra six inches of a room helps) with windows were $925. Again, against my better judgment, shame on me, etc. but I’m glad I found the legal hurdle.
Those of you who are wondering what this hurdle/loophole was— or simply care about such trivial matters as fire code— will undoubtedly find the following passage from the “Loft Law” (Thanks NAG!) quite illuminating:
…Notwithstanding the provisions of paragraphs (i), (iii) and (iv) of subdivision two of this section, but subject to paragraphs (i) and (ii) of subdivision one of this section and paragraph (ii) of subdivision two of this section, the term “interim multiple dwelling” shall include buildings, structures or portions thereof that are located in a city of more than one million persons which were occupied for residential purposes as the residence or home of any three or more families living independently from one another for a period of twelve consecutive months during the period commencing January first, two thousand eight, and ending December thirty-first, two thousand nine, provided that the unit: is not located in a basement or cellar and has at least one entrance that does not require passage through another residential unit to obtain access to the unit, has at least one window opening onto a street or a lawful yard or court as defined in the zoning resolution for such municipality…
Whoops. Now if you don’t mind I have some bunk beds to install in my tool shed…
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