Urban Artifact, Part II: Feels Like Summer!

indiastreet

If anyone needs a bikini top so as to celebrate this summer-like interlude— or is simply wanting to know where to retrieve this item— check the tree on India Street outside the Greenpoint Grocery & Fruit Market at 974 Manhattan Avenue. There you will find it. Happy Father’s Day weekend Garden Spotters!

Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Frigidaire

franklinstreet

Taken June 14, 2013.

Urban Artifact: 209 Days & Counting!

teddy6142013

Not only did Greenpoint Avenue’s “teddy” survive last night’s rather frightful rain and wind— but he appears to have acquired a glove! As it would happen I recently met the porter of this building. This very sweet chap told me he had no idea from hence this furry fellow came. He simply came out one morning, and lo, there he was. He likes him so much (he especially pleased when some merry hooligan one placed a sign reading “Crime Doesn’t Pay” is his mitts) he has decided to let him stay. However, be advised I was warned he may start charging me $1.00 per photo moving forward. Sounds like this fella has him an agent!

P.S./UPDATE: I would be remiss if I did not point out that this fellow seems to be a big hit with parents taking their children to nearby WNYC Transmitter Park. I myself watched a father stop his stroller so his young ‘un could say “Hi” to the teddy bear. When they commenced to leave he told his son they would stop by on the way back. I have also been told by another Greenpoint parents that she takes her son by so he can tell “Teddy” about his day. Methinks I am going to start doing this and encourage everyone reading this tome to follow suit…

Greenpoint Photos Du Jour: Kent Street

kent1

kent2

kent3

Taken June 13, 2013.

New York Shitty Street Seating Du Jour: 23 Days Later

frontview

 

sideview

snapplesurgicalglovesmirnoff

 

newports

Previously

East Williamsburg Photo Du Jour: Ingraham Street

ride

I am 99% sure you all can figure out what is going on here— but for the 1% who cannot not: this is a stationary bicycle chained to a street sign so as to presumably prevent its theft. There are many unanswered questions this brings to mind. I will refrain from sharing them here. *However, I will remind everyone— once again— that this being a stationary bike it is highly unlikely any aspiring thief is exactly going to make a quick getaway on it.

*With one exception: Why can’t Citibike implement stationary bike station?

Urban Artifact: All Apologies

manties

As spotted in Ridgewood yesterday evening. One can only imagine how the discarded/”free range” pair of manties factor into this…

A Review Of Public Pay Phones

The previous content undoubtedly makes it clear that today I whiled away my time outside the Garden Spot. We have a friend visiting from out of town so we’re pulling out all the stops. Or more accurately: we’re stopping constantly. So as to feed my public pay phone fixation. The way I see it, these fixtures— or more accurately: what is to be found in them— are a reflection of the communities into which they are placed. These “urban artifacts”, however revolting they may be— and they frequently are— tickle my inner anthropologist’s fancy. Without further ado, here we go!

Sixth Avenue & 28 Street, Chelsea

6aveand28street

This is located around the corner from Jeff Boss’s manifold number of missives (which I featured previously). There is a lot going on here, so let’s go in for a closer look!

yellowpants

One pair of neon yellow pants.

Soiled

Soiled.

petals

Rose petals grace the concrete.

roses

Which brings me to the right-hand stall. We have what once was a bouquet and this.

You are an asshole

No argument here. Upon closer inspection I discerned that both “stalls” bore this missive.

980 Sixth Avenue, “Fashion District”

980sixthave

This one is gold— in ways I could not begin to fathom.

enemyinplainsight

Initially, I thought the above-depicted flyer was related to this incitement. Nope.

PORNSTARSWELCOME

I have taken the liberty of highlighting my favorite passages.

notakers

I suppose it is not surprising he has not gotten any “takers”. Has not this fellow ever heard of Craigslist? It would save him a lot of money on fliers (which, in turn could be used to pay for entertaining). So it goes…

LADIES

Here’s what I found placed deftly atop of the receiver. NEEEXT!

40th Street, Bryant Park

spoonphone

Not much to see here save a misshapen spoon. Now let’s proceed to the Upper East Side…

Second Avenue & East 68 Street

pissphone

Public pay phones in New York City are often pressed into service as privies. This is hardly news. However, the elegance of what happened here is truly noteworthy. So much so I outlined it to my travelling companions like the tour guide I most assuredly am.

  1. This individual— a man— despite probably being in an inebriated state utilized the features of this phone in a rather clever way. He first placed the cup between the rails. 
  2. He peed into the cup. That will make it easier for whoever is charged with removing it.

whoops

For the most part. Still this gets an “E” for effort. Closing on a poignant  note…

59th Street & Third Avenue, “Midtown”

elizabethgardner

You can learn what Elizabeth Gardner did by clicking here. She was a lot more than a pretty face…

From The New York Shitty Inbox: What Is This?

jb1NYS

Jilly Ballistic, who took the above photograph, writes (in an email entitled “That’s a new one”):

At the corner of Huron and Franklin.

There’s an explanation behind this. I assume.

JB2nys

Another tasty angle of this find.

I was so intrigued by this when I arrived back in Greenpoint (Yes, I do leave it— more about that later) I swung by and checked it out.

branson

Yup. If I had to hazard a guess as to what this is, I’d go out on a limb (or would that be ledge?) “Branson” and say he’s a buddy of this guy.

 

Urban Artifact: Franklin Street

crawfish

Taken June 7, 2013.

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