Greenpoint
Lorven Pharmacy
Culture on the Cheap
Poop in the Water
Yesterday evening I discovered a costume contest we Greenpointers are (over) qualified to win. It is the S.W.I.M. Coalition Halloween Party “Crappiest Costume Contest”. Here is an excerpt from the press announcement I received:
What’s scarier than poop in the water? Enter our Crappiest Costume Contest and find out! Come dressed as the ickiest thing you can imagine finding afloat on the East River or living in an NYC sewer.
The criteria clearly states “the ickiest thing you can imagine finding afloat” or “living” in the above locations. Less imaginative folk will probably dress up as a condom, pile of rubbish, nuclear waste, etc. I for one recommend taking a more esoteric approach. The following are a few examples which illustrate what I am getting at:
- Dick Cheney: This man is scary. The prospect of this chap inhabiting New York City’s sewer system (or the East River) is even more frightening— and appropriate. He is possibly the humanoid on earth who could survive down there. Hell, he’d probably feel right at home.
- Phil Spector: For pretty much same reasons as I listed for #1.
- Gary Glitter: Not only is he creepy looking like Phil Spector, he’s also a pedophile. I think he trolls our sewer system looking for underage C.H.U.D.s to “photograph”.
- Leona Helmsley: The Queen of Mean is dead… or is she? I think the noxious soup in our sewer system rejuvenated her. Now she walks the streets a zombie searching for her shit dog, assaulting hotel maids and stealing their tips.
As you can see, I possess a very vivid imagination. Most Greenpointers do, for that matter. The above suggestions are but a fraction of the glory we can achieve. For this reason I implore you to use the vast resources of your imagination, hop on the G train and show these people that we Garden Spotters know our shit.*
WHAT: S.W.I.M. Coalition Halloween Party
WHEN: Sunday, October 28, from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
WHERE: Habana Outpost 757 Fulton Street (at South Portland St.)
Happy haunting!
Miss Heather
*Or you can leave your suggestion(s) for a costume in the comments section for all to enjoy. I’d love to see what you guys (and gals) dream up.
Scapee The Black Cat Has ‘Scaped!
It has come to my attention that “Scapee” the cat has, in keeping with her name, escaped.
I found the above flyer at Rodney Street and South First this weekend. Anyone who has seen Scapee should contact her custodians at the above telephone number. She is sorely missed.
Miss Heather
Upcoming Events this Halloween-ish Week
Filed under: Area 51
In keeping with the Halloween season there are a slew of interesting events coming up this week. Follows are a few of them.
Spoonbill & Sugartown Booksellers will be hosting a reading of New York Calling Wednesday, October 24, at 7:00 p.m. Luc Sante (the author of the fantastic book Lowlife) is schedule to appear. I am making it a point to check this out, you should too.
Spoonbill & Sugartown
218 Bedford Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211
(718) 387-7322
Next up, political cartoonist David Rees (author/illustrator of Get Your War On) will be giving a presentation of his cartoons (including brand new, yet-to-be-published material!) at Word Books Friday, October 26, at 7:30 p.m. For more details check out Word’s web site or shoot them an email at info (at) wordbrooklyn (dot) com.
Word Books
126 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 383-0096
Mexican wedding shirt enthusiasts (and the booze hounds who love them) will probably be more interested in attending Huizilli’s Grand Opening Preview/Cocktail Party the same evening (Friday, October 26). Festivities are set to start at 6:00 p.m. and conclude at 10:00 p.m. For more information, give them a call at (718) 701-3195 or (718) 687-2278. They have some seriously cool and crazy stuff. Check it out!
Huitzilli
624 Metropolitan Avenue (Lorimer stop of the L)
Brooklyn, New York 11211
www.huitzilli.com
Saturday, October 27, The City Reliquary will be hosting its “Haunted Halloween Backyard Bash” from 6:00 – 10:00 p.m. Per their press release:
There will be a pumpkin carving contest!
There will be fun games with sugary prizes!
There will be homemade Halloween treats!
There will be IMPENDING DOOM in the Haunted Forest!
I think I’ll skip the “impending doom” part in favor of savoring the flavor of the aforementioned “homemade Halloween treats”. Those who are interested in entering the pumpkin carving contest need to their bring your own pumpkins and it should be noted the donning of costumes is encouraged.
The City Reliquary
370 Metropolitan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211
www.cityreliquary.org
Dapper dogs (and the owners who dress them) will be interested to know District Dog will be throwing a Halloween Party at the McGolrick Park dog run Sunday, October 26, starting at 1:00 p.m. A number of contests will be held, including: World’s Strongest Dog, Funniest Costume, Scariest Costume, Best Trick, and of course, Best Costume. They will even have a doggie agility course where your pup can strut his (or her) stuff!
District Dog
142 Driggs Avenue
Brooklyn New York 11222
www.districtdog.com
Lastly Lokal, Greenpoint’s first and only Mediterranean Bistro is open for business. Per the owner, they are currently offering a limited “opening” menu of foodstuffs. A full menu is slated to roll out the first week of November.
Lokal
905 Lorimer St
Brooklyn, NY 11222
(718) 384-6777
And, as Porky Pig frequently (and sagely) said:
That’s all folks!
Miss Heather
#8 (of the Greenpoint 10) is…
Filed under: Area 51
The chap who managed to jackknife this truck onto 51 Java Street September 28, 2007. I do not know your name, but I can safely assert that it takes a kind special person to achieve such a feat. One that was (in somewhat chronological order) reported by:
- The Gowanus Lounge
- Curbed
- The New York Post
- New York Magazine
- The Real Deal, who saw fit to use (and abuse) the above photo, MY PHOTO, without asking permission or giving credit.
no less. You have become quite the media star!
That said, the real stroke of genius (in my opinion) was Scarano taking the rap and getting those Stop Work Orders(s) lifted! Way to go you anonymous homewrecker, you are a Greenpoint Super Star! Subterfuge, selective record-keeping, log-tossing and incompetent people like you are what keeps the Garden Spot real estate market so lively!
Speaking of log-tossing and subterfuge, let’s see who owns 53 Java Street per the New York Department of State’s Division of Corporations:
Hmm. “Square Box Realty” is located in Queens County but their mailing address is at 295 Russell Street.
Greenpoint.
Brooklyn.
11222.
Have you, fellow Greenpointers, ever walked along this stretch of Russell Street? I have. It’s a shit hole. Hardly the place one would expect a realty company to call home. But then again, they probably don’t conduct any real business here. It’s a sham. Surprised? I’m not.
On that note, I leave you with this motivational poster.
Miss Heather
Miscellaneous Foodstuffs
In keeping with the food-based theme I seem to be rocking this week, I present to you a new addition to southeastern Greenpoint: K’s Kafe.
This storefront had been vacant for some time. When I made my (latest) pilgrimage yesterday to the epitome of all things Greenpoint, 128 Beadel Street, I noticed it was open for business. Damned glad it was too: I was thirsty as hell.
I wanted iced tea. What they had to offer was of the sweetened variety (and lest the tone of this blog hasn’t made it clear already, I am not a “sweet” kind of girl). Being thirsty (and curious about their product) I bought one anyway. After doling out a paltry $1.50 for a hefty cup of the stuff how can one honestly complain if it sucks, right? It didn’t. It provided perfect amount of refreshment for yours truly.
As I bantered with the incredibly stylish chap manning the counter, I noticed this establishment offered the usual assortment of coffeehouse wares: bagels, pastries, coffee and free Wifi. The item that caught my attention was their reasonably-priced grilled cheese sandwich. A mere $2.00 will buy you an artery-clogging (and very filling) helping of this comfort food here. I loves me some grilled cheese sammiches. Maybe next time?
K’s Kafe
Kingsland Avenue (at Beadel Street)
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Next up, I’d like to give a shout-out to 66 Square Feet, a rather neat blog whose author is a New York Shitty fan. The above photograph is from their latest post which features a recipe for bouillabaisse. If someone can make a meaty foodstuff (yes, fish is meat) that looks so delicious that even I, a die hard vegetarian, wish I could eat it… well you get the idea. Check it out.
Lastly, I’d like to give a shout-out to The Brooklyn Nester. When I first met the proprietress of this blog at the Greenpoint blogger meet-up last July she was a relative newbie to the (much over-hyped and talked about) Brooklyn blogosphere. Since then she has really taken off and deserves a heaping helping of hype. Why, you ask?
Very simple: any woman who posts a recipe for making Skittles flavored vodka and a photo of herself chugging beer deserves props. I feel honored to have this woman as a neighbor in the vodka-infused neighborhood that is Greenpoint.
Miss Heather
Bubbles the Pit Bull Mix is MIA!
Filed under: Area 51
As I was doing a bit of grocery shopping this afternoon I spied a new addition to the growing number of “Lost Pet” posters which grace my corner of the Garden Spot.
This very attractive lass managed to stray from her home yesterday, October 16, and is now on the loose. If you have seen Bubbles, a brindle pit bull mix sporting a red collar, please contact her owner at any of the above phone numbers. They will be very grateful for any and all information you can provide to help bring Bubbles back home.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint is a Very Special Place
Filed under: Area 51
I recently thanked my buddy over at Greenpointers for writing a post about Greenpoint’s very own naked guy. I wrote:
Loved your naked man post, btw. Why does he being a Greenpoint resident NOT surprise me?
I do not read the New York Post on a regular basis so this choice morsel of Greenpoint glory probably would have gone unnoticed by yours truly. It should be noted, however, that I have not gone unnoticed by the Greenpoint naked guy. Greenpointers pointed this out to me via an email entitled “Naked Guy Reads Newyorkshitty.com”. It read:
http://joshdrimmer.blogspot.com/2007/03/now-even-cats-in-williamsburg_08.html
This too does not surprise me. Very few things have the power shock or amaze me anymore. Living in Greenpoint has raised the bar. Every neighborhood has a reputation. Park Slope has its stroller moms. Boerum Hill appears to be turning into Watts. And Greenpoint has, well, Greenpointers. Which brings me to the following question:
Does living in Greenpoint gradually make one “off” or does this neighborhood simply attract odd people?
After trolling the newspaper archives of the New York Times I have concluded the answer is both. Let’s take this article from the January 2, 1980 edition of the New York Times, for example:
The above is a stunning example of “Greenpoint magic” at its very finest. How climbing the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center makes light of the Iran hostage crisis is beyond me. I am certain if I live here long enough it will eventually make sense. I can only hope so, anyway. Perhaps then I will cease to be a “poser“?
But let us make no mistake about it: Greenpoint has also attracted its fair share of special people over the years. Some will even hazard swimming across the East River to get here. Like the chap in this article from the April 6, 1935 edition of the New York Times:
Clearly this man is protesting Greenpoint’s lack of ferry service. I for one have no issue with Greenpoint’s dearth of public transportation options; if one is not willing to swim in the East River or shimmy up a water tower, he (or she) is not worthy of living in the Garden Spot. Plain and simple.
Miss Heather
2007 BARC Dog Parade
Filed under: Area 51
I want to give a big ol’ New York Shitty shout-out to all the dapperly dressed dogs I marched with yesterday! My buddy Rachael and I had a lot of fun mixing with the pups (be they with four legs or two) while handing out Tootsie Rolls to the children. Unfortunately, marching while wearing a gas mask and digester tank bra render one unable to take pictures. (Hell, I could barely see where I was walking!) Such is the sacrifice one sometimes has to make for her art.
That said, my buddy over at The Gowanus Lounge shot a great set of photographs and a nifty short film. Check ’em out!
Miss Heather
Shanghai Lee: R.I.P.
Filed under: Area 51
I saw the above notice in the window of Shanghai Lee last week as I was running errands. I’ll be upfront: I never ate at this restaurant. My husband and I talked about doing so once. While standing right in front of Shanghai Lee, no less. The deal breaker was when we saw three men wrangle an enormous barrel of MSG out of the back of a truck and into the basement of this establishment.
Will this become a second Chinese Musician restaurant? I honestly don’t know. I will say the Chinese Musician is the only Chinese restaurant I will patronize in Greenpoint. Their soups are pretty tasty and if the they use MSG, they are a lot more low key about it.
In (semi) related news Ton Kao II, the latest Thai restaurant to grace the Garden Spot, has learned a very valuable lesson about operating a business here.
You do NOT put out a sandwich board advertising free beer in a neighborhood renowned for the copious consumption of alcoholic beverages. The above sign dates from October 7, 2007. In the last seven days I have watched it evolve. Their 2.0 version read: “Free beer with dinner purchase.” This too, proved to be flawed, as I learned last Saturday, October 13. This is when I heard one of their many* barkers handing out menus exclaim:
You get ONE free beer with dinner purchase!
As for the signage, they 86ed the free beer ad copy all together.
I tried one of their soups last week: lemon grass. It was a tad too salty for my taste. Come to think of it, a beer would have washed it down very nicely.
Miss Heather
*I cannot walk to Greenpoint Avenue without being assailed by three different people shilling their menus. Very annoying.
When Advertecture Attacks: 72 Norman Avenue
Filed under: Area 51
Yesterday I was reminded that I had yet to write a post about a new(ish) restaurant I recently discovered in Greenpoint. It is called Onyx and is located at 278 Nassau Avenue. Never heard of it you say? Too bad. If you had it might mean this hideous piece of (illegal?) advertising at 72 Norman Avenue is effective.
Wow, they even have a party room. How nice! Sadly, the same cannot be said about turning a piece of residential property (on an otherwise quaint block) into a billboard.
I wonder how much money the owner of this house received for hanging this turd? As you can probably imagine, one of this chap’s neighbors took issue with this sign and reported to the Department of Buildings. That was October 10, 2007. I took the above photo October 14, 2007. Per the Department of Building’s web site, this complaint was assigned to the “Special Investigative Team” —also known as S.P.I.T.— October 11, 2007. I am not making this shit up.
Anyone want to hazard a guess how long it will take before the Department of Buildings to order this eyesore taken down?
Miss Heather
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