Mark Your Calendars, Fellow Greenpointers!

Club Europa is having a wet t-shirt party this Saturday! You know, a little part of me* died when I found this flier but once I read “…hot girls is never enough” and noticed their offering of $2.00 “bum bum shots” (whatever those are) all I could do was laugh. Oh yeah, to my friends over in Queens: don’t feel left out.

The folks at Club Europa have been thoughtful enough to provide shuttle bus service from Ridgewood for the modest asking price of $1.00! Will the wonders ever cease?

Miss Heather

*that being my inner angry feminist

Prostitutes… In More Ways Than One

It’s get cold out. You want some companionship. Or maybe some breasts and thighs. No worries. As I learned on Manhattan Avenue earlier this week “Antonio” has you covered.

It doesn’t get much more obvious than this. I wonder how old this woman is? 18? 19?

It gets even better on the flip side.

For shits and giggles I Googled the above telephone number. Here’s what I found:

Charming, yes? It gets even better! The topic of this forum is “Any of the $40.00 Latina Delivery Good? What if I decline?”

“Chocha lover” is a curious case. He’s too lazy to meet women so he brushes up on his Spanish via Babelfish, orders a girl and pops a “blue pill”. Hilarity ensues:

Last night around 1am I was feeling kinda horny (but too lazy to drive anywhere). So I went down the list of numbers from club goer (thanks BTW). Most of them didn’t pick up but I had a few that did. The first guy I got spoke only spanish. I tried talking to him in English but he got nervous (or frustrated) and hung up. So I decided to brush up on my Espanol which I haven’t practiced since High School so I used http://babelfish.yahoo.com/. (Despite my screenname I’m not Latino). I tried again with another number armed with a few phrases of broken spanish I learned moments before and english. “Quiero una chica. Cuanto cuesta? <I’d like a girl. How much?” 45 por 15 minutos “Ok Yo vivo en calle <street> y <street> <I live at such and such street>”. He told me 20 minutes. I said okay thinking he’d be here 20-40minutes. I popped a blue pill.. I was horny yet I wasnt really ready to rock out with my cock out. I waited.. and waited.. and waited. An hour goes by. I’m pissed off. I called the guy again telling him my address and asked what happened it was over an hour ago (in broken spanglish). Unfortunately I didn’t babelfish that and he quotes me the price for an hour. I say “No.. no I called 1 hour ago”. He sounded confused and hung up…

I suppose I should feel sorry for Chocha Lover —but I don’t. I feel more sorry for the women who are turning $40.00 tricks from 11:00 a.m. – 4:00 a.m. with sacks of pus like I found on this message board. It’s disgusting, as is the following (in reply to Kingaddictx reply above)… Irvington29 (who will be undoubtedly nominated for a Nobel Prize in Literature and Human Rights any day now) writes:

WOW

Your lying their use be 5 dollar spanish hos in Roosevelt Queens??? 40 dollars is real cheap. Cats say I fuck cheap hos man 40 dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I fucked a Roosevelt Chick but that happened by accident. I was helping this girl I was seeing that came out of prison to get a identification card and pablo got in the car.

Long story short I dropped my ex convict ex girlfriend off at her apartment. I drove back to see Pablo and asked about “chicas”. He did not speak english but he sure knew where PUSSY WAS. I gave him some money, I guess he gets free pussy because he directs customer to them. Anyway their was 2 girls , I took the thick Colombian one because she gave me that look like she into “black men”.

I had to “make it do what it do” like Ray Charles like to say. Man I beat up that pussy. She gave me her number but she ain’t speak english. She was straining to tell me something and I was like “What bitch no speak no espanol”.

I left got in my car with Pablo and he said in broken english smiling to me chica want you as boyfriend. I was like “QUE”, god damn I need to take more spanish classes.

Here’s a gem bemoaning the effect inflation has had on the call girl industry. I thought hand jobs were recession proof! For shame.

I like to call this one “It’s the economy, stupid!”:

…you guys are stupid…50 bucks is not a months salary back home, even in DR, one of the poorest Latin Countries, they can make 30-50 dollars per session, maybe have 3 a day, so thats 150 bucks a day times 30….4500 a month….so yea, 4500 a month, not 50-100

people just like to assume the US is great and all other countries are poor as hell, but theyre not as bad as youd think…go learn something ppl before assuming everyones in a factory making 30 cents per session

So let me get this straight: I can perform “3 sessions” as you call them in the Dominican Republic and walk away with $150.00 or I can give 3 blow jobs in Queens at $40.00 a pop and make $120. WOW, you just made doing temp work look good!

And what would I be without giving props to bangbroads. He is a real connoisseur :

True but facilities and presentation is a deal breaker for me. Im not really tring to pony up 40 pesos for some basemnt room with no windows and a filthy mattress on the floor w/out sheets. Not for me! Id rather pay more to get something sanitary and comfortable. As far as the performance YMMV. With the higher priced girls there are usually reviews to weed the bad ones out. Anything under 50 your wasting your time in my opinion. If you can get off by some mechanical sex with a robot like zombie then its for you. Id rather get a BJ from a SW, save my pennies and go to a decent service for double the price. Higher priced to me is anything above 200. I try to stay in that 80-160 range. Good service more than half the time and doesnt break the bank.

What I noticed is most of the activity on this board seems to come from Queens. Jackson Heights, in particular. Maybe Peter Vallone Junior* (being as he is the chairman of the Public Safety Committee on our City Council and hails from said borough) should investigate this matter? Hey Pete**, why not lay off Alphabeta and pitbulls and address what appears to be genuine problem in your backyard: prostitution and/or human trafficking?

Or at the very least keep your smut on your side of Newtown Creek: we have standards, you know.

Miss Heather

P.S.: No one, regardless of race or immigration status deserves to be treated like these women do. NO ONE.

*Not to be confused with Peter Vallone Senior.

**Thanks for telling voters they should have no say so whatsoever regarding a third term for Mayor Bloomberg. Oh yeah, and a double dose of shame goes out to you, DAVID YASSKY. Follows is a breakdown of the vote courtesy of Phil DePaolo: