Greenpoint
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Culture on the Cheap
A Couple Events Tonight
Tonight at 7:30 p.m. Bob Eckstein, the author of The History of the Snowman (recently featured in The New York Times Holiday Books section) will be giving a slide presentation and Q & A session at Word Books. To facilitate extra holiday cheer, spiked hot cocoa is promised.
Word Books
126 Franklin Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 383-0096
Those of you who are more civic-minded (or simply have a dark sense of humor) might be interested to know what is on tonight’s agenda over at Community Board 1:
- 53-65 HOPE STREET (BLOCK #2369, LOT # 38, 40 & 47) is applying for a partial waiver of the required accessory off-street parking spaces required by the conversion of the building location at 65 Hope Street to 92 residential units, generating a requirement for 46 parking spaces. The Special Permit seeks to reduce the number of required parking spaces provided from 46 to 11.
- Krzysztof Rostek of Belvedere III LLC wishes to file an application to extend the time to complete construction the four story, six (6) family dwelling facility at 135 NORTH 9th STREET (BLOCK #2324 LOT# 36)
- Ten Eleven Holdings LLC, better known as The Pencil Factory, seeks a renewal of their permit to operate a sidewalk cafe.
Tonight’s meeting will commence at 6:30 p.m. If you are interested in asking Mr. Rostek about the above “partial” stop work order, the Borough Commissioner’s ten day letter of intent to revoke his application to build (yet) another Belvedere, his failure to protect adjoining properties and (my personal favorite) working without a permit, you need to sign up no later than 6:15 p.m. at:
Lady of the Snow Society
410 Graham Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11211
And, oh yeah: be sure to tell him Miss Heather says “Hi”.
Miss Heather
Greenpoint Photo Du Jour: Manhattan Avenue
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Yesterday when I was walking down Manhattan Avenue after getting some groceries I spied a rather nifty old car.
Amused, I went in for a closer look.
Nice teeth.
Miss Heather
P.S.: As I was taking the above photographs a S.U.V. across the street was blaring “Iron Man”. I mention this because it seems strangely relevant.
‘Tis The Season: Green Street
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
The more I walk by this holiday display, the more I like it. Especially the duct tape.
Miss Heather
P.S.: I am not kidding.
#3 and #2 of the Greenpoint 10 are…
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Santa and Mrs. Claus! Good ol’ Saint Nick will be coming to town soon you know. Oh wait, scratch that: he’s ALREADY HERE!
Parents who wish to take their kids to see Santa, take note: the last time I saw him he was hanging out on India Street wearing a butcher’s apron and smoking a cigarette.
Mrs. Claus can be located a short distance away waiting for some kielbasa. I would advise parents against taking their children to meet Santa’s missus. She might frighten them.
Miss Heather
Love Is In The Air!
Filed under: 11222, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Newtown Creek
Many who are reading this are probably aware of the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee. They are a community group charged with overseeing the upgrade of Greenpoint’s favorite sewage treatment plant. Each month they meet with the Department of Environmental Protection and talk sewage shop. While this may sound like watching paint dry to some, it has come to my attention that a subject has arisen at the last two meetings which is anything but boring.
Per Emily Lloyd, the Commissioner of the Department of Environmental Protection, “unsavory acts” are transpiring at the nature walk. Per my source (the ever-cool Matt Wolfe of The Greenpoint Courier) she did not give any details as to the nature of these acts, but I suspect they are of a carnal persuasion. I want you to think about this for a moment, dear readers: there are people who (purportedly) see fit to fornicate in the shadow of New York Shitty’s largest sewage treatment plant.
This is like something straight out of a John Waters movie— which of course bears testament to its probable verity: Greenpoint is a John Waters kind of place. I wonder if a shag rug and a bottle of cold duck were used as inducements for these “unsavory acts”? Both of the previous facilitated my entrance into this world. I know this because my mother has told me so.
On a number of occasions.
But I digress. I have created a very special Greenpoint postcard to commemorate the (un?)natural acts which have taken place at the Nature Walk of late. Here it is for your delectation.
These can be purchased via my online store at Cafepress. Why not reach out and touch that special someone with a gift only Greenpoint can give? The Shit Tits!
Miss Heather
P.S.: Those of you who are interested in learning more about the Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee can contact them at:
Newtown Creek Monitoring Committee
329 Greenpoint Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 349-0150
Disgruntled Williamsburg Parent Changes Tactics…
Filed under: 11211, 11222, Asshole, Crazy People, Greenpoint, Greenpoint Brooklyn, Greenpoint Magic, Planet Entitlement
but his motivations/inducements are more or less the same.
This, his latest attempt, is subtle…
and yet, more desperate. Maybe you, my fellow Greenpointers, can open your hearts and sublet your closet, tool shed or parking space so “John’s” precious children can receive a better education? One their father clearly did not receive: reading, writing, critical thinking, and ethics:
I need to move my two children from an otherwise great location in Williamsburg. but where They currently attend a dismally performing school and I wish have them to attend the school designated for this neighborhood (annotated: GreenPoint). To this end I am prepared to sacrifice as above or pay $$ to anyone who can help effect this (my latest attempt to bribe my children into a better performing school in a less “great” location).
Miss Heather’s mind is a terrible thing to waste. Especially when forced to read and correct the aforementioned drech while waiting to check out at The Garden while not wasted (intoxication makes illiteracy coupled with entitlement go down better for yours truly).
The quality of “North GreenPoint’s” schools is well known. To Greenpointers and one Gowanus Lounge commenter anyway:
why is he doing this now – didn’t do his homework before moving house?
The information that Greenpoint’s two schools were high performing and Williamsburg’s were not was already freely available before the grading.
Clearly John did NOT do his homework. Given this gent’s persistence, it begs one to wonder how many more concerned Williamsburg parents will try to lie/cheat/bribe their way into Greenpoint’s public schools.
Miss Heather
Correspondence, Greenpoint Style
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Are you tired of honking and steering your vehicle through commuter hell? If so, I suppose you could call 311 or send an email to the Commissioner of the Department of Transportation.
But if you wish to conserve energy (and have a Sharpie marker handy) you can simply leave a message on their facility underneath the Pulaski Bridge.
Miss Heather
A Couple Weekend Events
This Saturday, December 15, THE GIFT on grand holiday sale will be conducted at Secret Project Robot (which, ironically enough, is not located on Grand Street). Per Sodafine’s announcement:
We’ll be taking over the main gallery space of Secret Project Robot as well as the basement for the afternoon of Saturday, December 15 from 11 a.m. -7 p.m. Just in time for all of your last minute holiday shopping!! We’re rounding up a terrific group of artists this year, including a bunch of designers that participated last year as well as a lot of new faces. There will certainly be gifts of all types to suit everyone on your list!
Those wishing to get a sneak peek at the participating artists should point and click your way over to THE GIFT on grand’s blog. While you’re there, be sure to check out this insanely stylish doggie sweater.
THE GIFT on grand
at Secret Project Robot
210 Kent Street
Brooklyn, New York 11222
After doing a little shopping, why not check out some art? Per the Cheryl Molnar Projects web site, 649 Morgan Avenue will be hosting an open house right here in Greenpoint:
The 649 Morgan Avenue- Fine Arts Building in Greenpoint, Brooklyn announces that it will be holding an Open Studios event that will be held from 6:00 to 10:00 p.m. …December 15, 2007. The building has over 20 artists studios – many of which will be participating. A variety of work will be showing including painting, drawing, sculpture and installation.
For more information you can email Ms. Molnar at cheryl (at) cherylmolnar (dot) com or visit her web site.
Fine Arts Building
649 Morgan Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
Note: Both of these events are free to the general public.
Miss Heather
Great Moments in Greenpoint Siding, Vol XII: Meserole Avenue
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic
Inasmuch as it pains me to say it, the aluminum siding and Fedders box somehow “work” with this holiday decorating scheme.
Miss Heather
Cutting Karl Fischer’s Krap
I recently checked out a post on Brownstoner announcing yet another piece of Karl Fischer crap slated to blight north Brooklyn:
A visit to the Karl Fischer website never disappoints! In our most recent fly-by, we noticed that the ubiquitous architect has a new rendering posted of a 26,000-square-foot, 18-unit glass box that’s slated for the southwest corner of Bedford Avenue and South 4th Street in Williamsburg.
What will this forthcoming masterpiece look like you, ask? Well, here it is.
True to form, it is a drab— if conspicuously short— slab of Post Modernist shit. Naturally, the lack of height was not lost one Brownstoner commenter:
Ridiculously small building for an area so close to Manhattan. My god, even Mayor Bloomberg’s townhouse is taller than this thing.
It looks alright, but it should be twice as large, at least.
WRONG!
Keeping this building diminutive is the only means I can think of to mitigate its hideousness. And contrary to what Karl Fischer said in this article, all his buildings have one overriding quality in common: they are uglier than homemade sin.
That’s what makes parts of Brooklyn so special. You have all of these rowhouses, townhouses, smaller-scale developments, more neighborhood-friendly developments. You have more open space. The quality of life in this way is going to be preserved in Brooklyn.
– Karl Fischer
Am I the only person who has trouble reconciling the aforementioned quote with the “deeds” of its author? 130 Diamond Street is, most assuredly, neither “smaller scale” nor “neighborhood friendly”. It is a gangrene-colored six story eyesore blighting what was once a quaint block of two and three story rowhouses.
Why in god’s name would some pair this “brick work” with green sheet metal? This juxtaposition would make I.M. Pei roll in his grave.
If he was dead, that is. And dead he would be if forced to look at this pile of shit. Yes sir, when the construction fence finally comes down we Greenpointers are going to have one VERY UGLY BUILDING on our hands. An edifice which, until recently, reminded me of something but I just couldn’t place it. Until today.
Be sure to do a courtesy flush, Karl!
Miss Heather
120 S. 4th Street Photo Credit: Karl Fischer web site via Brownstoner.
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