Sucko in Stucco

January 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic, Williamsburg 

One of the greatest pleasures I derive from New York Shitty is the numerous witty and pithy comments I have the pleasure of moderating. This is because I envision his web site as being a two-way street. Its purpose is not solely to toss out missives into the abyss of the Internet; rather, I want people (be they Greenpointers or otherwise) to communicate. With each other and me.

That said, a commenter named “Rexlic” recently reminded me of a wonderful movie by the Marx Brothers called Cocoanuts. For those of you who are not familiar with this film here is the premise via IMDB:

Mr. Hammer (Groucho Marx —Ed. Note) runs a bankrupt Florida hotel. He’ll try anything to make money, even make love to rich Mrs. Potter. But his main scheme, selling real estate, is in danger of sabotage from zanies Chico and Harpo, who also reduce the schemes of a pair of jewel thieves to chaos…

The following choice specimens of north Brooklyn stucco abuse (and very bad taste) are dedicated to “Rexlic” and the brothers Marx. First up, check out this beauty on Conselyea Street.

116 Conselyea Street

You can have any kind of a home you want. You can even get stucco.

More Stucco at 116 Conselyea

Oh, how you can get stucco.

Representing Greenpoint, we have this beauty on Meeker Avenue!

Meeker Avenue Turd

Those of you who are familiar with this area (Meeker Avenue west of North Henry Street) can attest to the many amenities this location affords:

  1. Scenic views of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway.
  2. UNeasy access to public transportation (unless you like to hitchhike) and other essentials such as grocery stores, laundromats and the like.
  3. The distinction of living in the most crime-ridden section of the 94th Precinct!

But all the previous are trivialities. Who cares about practicality when he or she can enjoy

…the most exclusive residential district in Florida Greenpoint East Williamsburg. Nobody lives there.

Miss Heather

A Sign in the Stuy

January 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bed-Stuy, Dog Shit Signage, Greenpoint Magic 

Today I am honored to share my very first piece of dog shit signage from none other than Bedford-Stuyvesant! My tipster writes:

I saw this stenciled plea at the corner of Willoughby and Walworth and thought of you.

Pick up their shit

Unfortunately, as the second pic reveals, the call has gone unheeded (see near green patch, lower left).

Their Shit

Ah well, there’s plenty else to love about Bed Stuy.
Heh.

Regards,
Erin

This looks a lot like a series of missives I found inscribed around a tree pit on Franklin Street a couple months ago.

Don’t pollute our tree

I can attest that (to date) these admonitions appear to be working. Maybe it is the color?

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: McCarren Park

January 16, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

As I was walking down Lorimer Street I discovered an enormous pile of Christmas trees gracing McCarren Park. Intrigued, I went in for a closer look. That’s when I discovered this.

Bicycle

Looks like one Greenpoint youngster wasn’t too happy with what Santa brought him last Christmas.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Kent Street

January 15, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Black dog, Black Cat

From Greenpoint’s preeminent grocery store: The Garden. This “black cat” has been on the north-facing side of their business for years. Though this wall has been tagged (more than once) since, the powers that be there have never seen fit to get rid of this kitty. I’m glad too; it is one of my favorite sights in Greenpoint!

Miss Heather

THIS WEEK: Protest For Parks

January 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Protest for Parks Flier

This Thursday, January 17, at 7:00 p.m. GWAPP will be hosting a “Town Hall Meeting” at the Warsaw. The agenda for this meeting includes:

  • What is GWAPP?
  • TGE power plant fight
  • Sludge tank status
  • India Street End Park Project
  • Transmitter Park (end of Greenpoint Ave)
  • Bushwick Inlet park plans
  • McCarren Park Pool renovation
  • State Park at N7th
  • Tree Planting

Those of you who are concerned about what is going on in Greenpoint (and the city to keep their word regarding park space, among other things) really should attend this meeting. You’ll learn a lot!

The Warsaw
261 Driggs Avenue
Brooklyn, New York 11222
(718) 387-0505

For more information about GWAPP click here and you’ll be directed to their web site.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint’s Great Games

January 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Unlike my fellow Americans, I have no fear whatsoever of teenagers. In fact I’d go so far as to say I like them; they have a certain honesty about them I find refreshing. In all my years experience has taught me time and time again to reserve my fear for my fellow adults.

More than anything I am amazed by how creative teenagers can get when it comes to entertaining themselves. Like when I recently encountered a clan of skateboarders who constructed a slalom at the northern terminus of Manhattan Avenue.

Slalom, top of hill

The starting point was at the top of the hill. As they rolled downhill, the objective was to go between the two street cones (as seen below).

slalom 2

Shortly after passing these two cones, the skateboarders crashed-landed into a barrier they had painstaking erected.

barrier

When I pointed out to the solitary tweener of the bunch how utterly ingenious this setup was, he cheekily replied:

Those are our safety cones!

Last night as I was poring through the Brooklyn Daily Eagle archives I discovered that Greenpoint’s youth have long has a reputation for coming up with diabolically clever ways of amusing themselves. All that was required to play “pig in the bag” was a group of kids, a large cloth sack and one unwitting adult. What is pig in the bag, you ask? Read the following article from the August 28, 1891 edition of the Brooklyn Daily Eagle and learn for yourself!

Brooklyn Daily Eagle 8/29/1891

It just goes to show that the kinder, gentler days of old were neither kinder nor gentler. Methinks I will have to give this game a whirl, it’s a lot easier than learning how to use a skateboard.

Miss Heather

Dining Al Fresco: Greenpoint Vs. Bushwick

January 14, 2008 ·
Filed under: Bushwick, Greenpoint Magic 

What is it?

One late Saturday afternoon at Suydam Street at Central Avenue…

Miss Heather: What IS that?
Mr. Heather: I think it is the hip bone for some large animal… oh wait…
Miss and Mr. Heather (in unison): IT’S A PIG HEAD!!!

Suydam Street Pig Head

Alas poor Porkrick, I knew him well.

Note the super-sized bottle of Heineken in the background. Nothing washes down a mouldering pig head like a tall frosty brewski. Yum. All my husband had to say about this find, however, was as follows:

I am sort of disappointed they didn’t boil the head and make head cheese. This is kind of wasteful.

My husband is a man after his time. His personal habits (including religiously using FOUR SQUARES OF TOILET PAPER— no more, no less— TO WIPE HIS ASS) would have acclimatized him to the Great Depression smashingly. I, on the other hand, have more epicurean tastes. I give this meal five stars for presentation and overall ambiance (it is far superior to Williamsburg’s paltry chicken heads), but the lack of dessert knocks it down to four stars overall.

Miss Heather knows fine dining when she sees it. And see it I do on McGuinness Boulevard. Often.

Pepperoni and Colt 45

Today’s five star dining experience hails from Chez McGuinness, AKA: the tree pit just south of Freeman Street.

First course: Colt 45
Second course: Colt 45
Third course: Pepperoni

And what would such a fine meal be without dessert and a digestif? Thankfully, the chef was thoughtful enough to place them in a tree pit immediately adjacent to courses 1-3.

Cookies!

Cookies and Colt 45:

…works every time!

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Noble Street

January 12, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

Earlier this week we learned about the Santalope. Well, a few days later I found his sidekick…

Reingoose

I present to you, the Greenpoint Reingoose.

Miss Heather

Greenpoint Photo du Jour: Green Street

January 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

May pole

I guess the maypole arrived a little early this year.

Miss Heather

Back To Box Street

January 11, 2008 ·
Filed under: Greenpoint Magic 

It’s been awhile since I have paid the fine chaps at 48 Box Street a visit. Today I did, albeit in an accidental fashion: as I was walking across the Pulaski Bridge I looked westward and there he was.

48 Box Street 1/10/08 1:45 pm

It was love at first sight. I was so smitten I even waved to him as I took the above photograph.

48 Box SWO

You have to admire a man who ignores a Stop Work Order.

Again.

Again.

And again.

Miss Heather

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